The idea of making a narcissist obsessed with you might seem tempting – a way to regain control or perhaps even seek revenge. But, it’s super important to know that going down this path could have some serious drawbacks. If you’re seeking to manipulate or take revenge against a narcissist, this article might not be the best guide for you.
For those who’ve suffered due to narcissistic behavior, the emotional toll can be immense. While it’s natural to want to regain a sense of power and make them feel the pain they’ve inflicted, seeking revenge usually doesn’t lead to real healing.
This article wants to help you understand narcissists and whether is it really possible to make them obsess over you by following the methods given below.
Do Narcissists become obsessed with you?
Yes, a narcissist can become obsessed with you if they recognize that your ability to consistently meet their insatiable need for narcissistic supply. This supply could encompass admiration, attention, and validation, which are crucial for a narcissist’s self-esteem.
Once the narcissist realizes the potential for abundant supply within someone, their addiction to the person can intensify, and they may focus their attention on that individual, seeking to extract as much validation as possible.
This fixation continues until the narcissist’s interest wanes, often due to their ever-shifting desires and short attention span.
Steps to make a narcissists obsessed with you
You can make a narcissist obsessed with you by making yourself appear high-value, playing hot and cold, ignoring them sometimes, and being emotionally unavailable. Using a “hot and cold” method, where you sometimes give them a lot of attention and other times pull away, makes them want your approval even more.
The Following tactics can make their obsession with you stronger and makes them keep trying to get your approval, which they find kind of hard to get.
1. Give a Taste of Narcissistic Supply
Narcissists are naturally attracted to people they think they can easily control and manipulate. To catch a narcissist’s interest, it can work well to act like you’re really impressed by their charm at first.
Let them believe that they’re truly charming you. Make them feel like they’re in charge by letting them make choices for you, like what you wear, eat, or how you talk.
Once you give a little bit of narcissistic supply– that’s like attention and admiration – they want more and more.
This makes them start getting really fixated on you over time. Their constant need for validation becomes a big reason why they keep trying to get your attention.
2. Make Them Dependent on You
Make the narcissist really want to be close to you by making them depend on you. When you’re spending time with the narcissist in your life, do things you’re really good at (or things they really don’t want to do). Don’t make them dependent on you financially or any big leaps. Just keep it on basic level dependency that wouldn’t make you trouble.
The narcissist will start enjoying this little dependency and check how far they could pull you off. Hence, they’ll demand more efforts from you and be obsessed with your efforts.
3. Keep Your Value High
To keep a narcissist really interested, always remind them how great you are. Show off your important job, big group of friends, or a special skill that everyone wants. Exhibit yourself that you are admired by many. Keep yourself as a secret and Show them that there is a lot more to learn about you.
When they always know how amazing you are, they’ll become really focused on wanting to keep you around. This strong desire comes from their need to be connected with someone they see as extraordinary. It makes them want to stay close to you.
4. Spend Quality time with Friends and Family
Let them see that you’ve got your own life going on and it is awesome, so they’ll want to be a part of it. If they realize you’re spending time and effort on other relationships, they might start feeling jealous or wanting to look out for you.
Make sure you hang out with other people or do things you love, and tell them about it. This way, they’ll understand that you’re not only focused on the relationship, and it will make you seem like an interesting challenge to them.
This way of doing things doesn’t just show that you’re not only thinking about the relationship, but it also makes you seem really interesting and like a challenge to control. It’s like you’re a person with lots of different sides that keep them wanting to pay attention to you all the time. And the narcissist will react if you can’t be controlled in a way that they get jealous and get more addicted over you.
5. Withdraw emotionally before the Abuse
To make a narcissist really obsessed with you, start pulling back emotionally before any possible mistreatment starts.
When you distance yourself emotionally as soon as you notice them trying to control or treat you badly, you’re setting a limit that challenges their sense of control.
This doesn’t just mess up their expected power balance, but also makes them want to get back the attention and control they think they should have.
Making a Narcissist fear you is pretty easy. By showing that you’re emotionally strong before any bad treatment happens, you’re basically making them really want to get back that connection they’re scared of losing. This makes their obsession with you even stronger.
6. Tend to be more attractive
Show yourself as extra appealing when you’re around people, especially of the opposite gender triggers their need to compete and brings out their hidden insecurities.
When they see that others are giving you attention, especially people they might consider as rivals, they’ll want to show they’re in charge of you even more.
This smart move can make them super focused on getting your approval, trying to show they’re valuable and better than anyone else. It’s like they’re trying to prove they’re the best while also trying to beat anyone they think is a threat to their sense of being superior.
7. Enable them like an enabler
Play the role of Enabler, but do it in a careful way. Let them think that what they do and want is the most important thing to you. This boosts their ego and makes them feel even more in control.
This sets up a situation where they see you as someone who’s helping them achieve what they want, which makes them feel even more connected to you. By taking on this role of helping, you’re kind of controlling how much they rely on you.
And over time, this makes their obsession with you grow because they start seeing you as a key part of their self-centered goals.
8. Don’t give compliments
Spend your compliments very low on the narcissist. Don’t give them too often for things that are normal and not worth it.
When you don’t keep telling them how great they are all the time, it shakes their confidence and makes them want to show you how awesome they are. Because they’re not getting that constant praise, they get really focused on getting your approval.
This gap of not hearing compliments gives room for their obsession to grow. They’ll work hard to get your recognition and fill the space that you left by not praising them much. This all builds up and makes them even more fixated on getting your attention and admiration.
9. Be tough and arrogant
Acting tough and having a sort of quiet confidence can work effectively, especially against covert narcissists. This strategy uses their weak point – their low self-esteem – and attracts them to people who seem really sure of themselves.
When you show that you’re confident and assertive, it connects with their need for validation and praise. This magnetic attraction gets even stronger because they see your confidence as something they secretly want for themselves.
The contrast between their hidden behavior and your confident attitude makes them even more focused on you. They’re trying to figure you out and make sure they’re important in your life.
10. Break Up with them
Ending a relationship with a narcissist can lead to a series of actions caused by their huge need for validation. When the narcissistic support suddenly stops, they feel exposed and unsure, which makes them really want to get back what they believe gives them value.
This feeling of being exposed can show up in unsettling ways like stalking, trying to contact you all the time, and something called “hoovering,” where they try to pull you back into the relationship by being manipulative.
Their desperation to get control back and keep your attention makes their obsession even stronger. This creates a complicated cycle where they keep chasing you because they want the validation that you used to give them.
Wrap up
Figuring out how to handle the complicated situation of dealing with narcissists is like walking a tightrope between understanding and being aware of their behavior.
Even if you’re trying to get a narcissistic person’s attention, it’s super important to take care of how you feel.
Finding the right balance between recognizing their weak points and looking out for yourself is a big deal when you’re interacting with narcissistic people. This way, you can relate to what they’re going through while also making sure you’re taking care of your own feelings in these complicated situations.
