Mental Health Archives -
banner image with text can you make a narcissist obsessed with you? and the answer to that as yes

How to Make a Narcissist Obsessed with You?

The idea of making a narcissist obsessed with you might seem tempting – a way to regain control or perhaps even seek revenge. But, it’s super important to know that going down this path could have some serious drawbacks. If you’re seeking to manipulate or take revenge against a narcissist, this article might not be the best guide for you. For those who’ve suffered due to narcissistic behavior, the emotional toll can be immense. While it’s natural to want to regain a sense of power and make them feel the pain they’ve inflicted, seeking revenge usually doesn’t lead to real healing. This article wants to help you understand narcissists and whether is it really possible to make them obsess over you by following the methods given below.  Do Narcissists become obsessed with you? Yes, a narcissist can become obsessed with you if they recognize that your ability to consistently meet their insatiable need for narcissistic supply. This supply could encompass admiration, attention, and validation, which are crucial for a narcissist’s self-esteem.  Once the narcissist realizes the potential for abundant supply within someone, their addiction to the person can intensify, and they may focus their attention on that individual, seeking to extract as much validation as possible.  This fixation continues until the narcissist’s interest wanes, often due to their ever-shifting desires and short attention span. Steps to make a narcissists obsessed with you You can make a narcissist obsessed with you by making yourself appear high-value, playing hot and cold, ignoring them sometimes, and being emotionally unavailable. Using a “hot and cold” method, where you sometimes give them a lot of attention and other times pull away, makes them want your approval even more.  The Following tactics can make their obsession with you stronger and makes them keep trying to get your approval, which they find kind of hard to get.   1. Give a Taste of Narcissistic Supply Narcissists are naturally attracted to people they think they can easily control and manipulate. To catch a narcissist’s interest, it can work well to act like you’re really impressed by their charm at first.  Let them believe that they’re truly charming you. Make them feel like they’re in charge by letting them make choices for you, like what you wear, eat, or how you talk.  Once you give a little bit of narcissistic supply– that’s like attention and admiration – they want more and more.  This makes them start getting really fixated on you over time. Their constant need for validation becomes a big reason why they keep trying to get your attention. 2. Make Them Dependent on You Make the narcissist really want to be close to you by making them depend on you. When you’re spending time with the narcissist in your life, do things you’re really good at (or things they really don’t want to do). Don’t make them dependent on you financially or any big leaps. Just keep it on basic level dependency that wouldn’t make you trouble. The narcissist will start enjoying this little dependency and check how far they could pull you off. Hence, they’ll demand more efforts from you and be obsessed with your efforts. 3. Keep Your Value High To keep a narcissist really interested, always remind them how great you are. Show off your important job, big group of friends, or a special skill that everyone wants. Exhibit yourself that you are admired by many. Keep yourself as a secret and Show them that there is a lot more to learn about you. When they always know how amazing you are, they’ll become really focused on wanting to keep you around. This strong desire comes from their need to be connected with someone they see as extraordinary. It makes them want to stay close to you. 4. Spend Quality time with Friends and Family Let them see that you’ve got your own life going on and it is awesome, so they’ll want to be a part of it. If they realize you’re spending time and effort on other relationships, they might start feeling jealous or wanting to look out for you.  Make sure you hang out with other people or do things you love, and tell them about it. This way, they’ll understand that you’re not only focused on the relationship, and it will make you seem like an interesting challenge to them. This way of doing things doesn’t just show that you’re not only thinking about the relationship, but it also makes you seem really interesting and like a challenge to control. It’s like you’re a person with lots of different sides that keep them wanting to pay attention to you all the time. And the narcissist will react if you can’t be controlled in a way that they get jealous and get more addicted over you.  5. Withdraw emotionally before the Abuse To make a narcissist really obsessed with you, start pulling back emotionally before any possible mistreatment starts.  When you distance yourself emotionally as soon as you notice them trying to control or treat you badly, you’re setting a limit that challenges their sense of control.  This doesn’t just mess up their expected power balance, but also makes them want to get back the attention and control they think they should have.  Making a Narcissist fear you is pretty easy. By showing that you’re emotionally strong before any bad treatment happens, you’re basically making them really want to get back that connection they’re scared of losing. This makes their obsession with you even stronger. 6. Tend to be more attractive Show yourself as extra appealing when you’re around people, especially of the opposite gender triggers their need to compete and brings out their hidden insecurities.  When they see that others are giving you attention, especially people they might consider as rivals, they’ll want to show they’re in charge of you even more.  This smart move can make them super focused on getting your approval, trying to show they’re valuable…

Read More
10signs of narcissistic devaluation and discard

10 Signs of Narcissistic Devaluation

Being in a relationship with a narcissist can be emotionally draining and debilitating. They often go through a cycle of idealization, devaluation, and finally, discard.  This article will explore the signs that you may be experiencing the devaluation and discard phase of a relationship with a narcissist.  Understanding these warning signs can help you protect yourself and make informed decisions about your well-being. Narcissist Devaluation The narcissist’s devaluation phase is basically devaluing you by starting to treat you poorly after making you feel really special in the beginning.  They might become mean, distant, or critical. They do this to control you, which makes them feel better, and to keep you feeling unsure about yourself.  It’s like they want to bring you down so they can feel more powerful. If you notice this happening in a relationship, it could mean you’re in a devaluation phase. How to Find If you are Devalued by Narcissists? To find a narcissist’s devaluation, pay attention to how they treat you. If they used to be nice but now they’re mean, distant or show any narcissistic red flags, that’s a sign. On analysing these patterns where the narcissists try to devalue you, you can conclude that you are in the devaluation phase with them. The following are the Devaluation red flags/signs of a narcissist, 1. Emotional and Verbal Abuse One of the clear indications of devaluation is when the narcissist starts to pick at you, insult you, and put you down. They may constantly make fun of you or belittle your accomplishments.  This emotional and verbal abuse is aimed at demoralizing you, making you feel unworthy, and ensuring that you never speak up when they violate your boundaries.  Recognizing this behaviour as a sign of devaluation is crucial for your self-esteem and mental health. 2. Projecting Insecurities onto You Narcissists often struggle to face and process their own negative emotions. As a result, they project their flaws, fears, and insecurities onto their partners. This projection is a defence mechanism to deflect their uncomfortable feelings. They will make you believe that you possess these negative qualities, further eroding your self-worth. It’s important to remember that their projections are not a reflection of who you truly are. 3. Lack of Accountability In a healthy relationship, both partners take responsibility for their actions. However, narcissists rarely own up to their behaviour. When you express your concerns or confront them about something that upsets you, they may dismiss your feelings and tell you that you are overreacting.  This lack of accountability is a red flag that you are being devalued and manipulated. 4. Withdrawal and Isolation As the devaluation phase progresses, narcissists may withdraw emotionally and physically. They may become distant and show a lack of interest in spending time with you or engaging in activities together.  This withdrawal is a tactic to make you feel isolated, insecure, and dependent on them for validation. Recognizing this pattern can help you break free from their control. 5. Intense Criticism and Nitpicking During the devaluation stage, narcissists often engage in excessive criticism and nitpicking. They may find fault with everything you do or say, no matter how trivial.  This constant criticism is meant to diminish your confidence and self-esteem. It’s important to remember that their criticism is not a reflection of your worth or abilities. 6. Manipulative Behavior Narcissists are skilled manipulators. They may use various tactics to control and manipulate you during the devaluation phase. These manipulative behaviours can include gaslighting, guilt-tripping, love-bombing followed by withdrawal, and playing mind games.  Recognizing these manipulative tactics can empower you to break free from their toxic influence. 7. Lack of Empathy and Compassion One of the defining traits of narcissism is a lack of empathy and compassion. During the devaluation phase, narcissists may become even more callous and indifferent towards your feelings and needs.  They are unable to truly understand or care about your emotions, doing so becomes beyond their capacity as their primary focus is on their desires and self-image. 8. Triangulation and Jealousy Narcissists thrive on attention and admiration. As the devaluation stage progresses, they may become increasingly jealous of your skills, strengths, and experiences. They may start comparing you to others, creating a competitive rivalry within the relationship.  This triangulation and jealousy are meant to assert their dominance and undermine your self-confidence, ultimately solidifying their control over you and fostering a sense of insecurity. 9. Discarding and Hoovering The discard phase occurs when the narcissist decides to end the relationship or discard you emotionally. They may abruptly stop contacting you or not explain their absence.  This sudden withdrawal is often followed by periods of hoovering, where they attempt to draw you back into the relationship using manipulative tactics and false promises. Recognizing this pattern can help you break free from the toxic cycle. 10. Trusting Your Intuition One of the most important signs of devaluation and discard is your intuition. If you feel that something is off or that the relationship is unhealthy, trust your instincts.  Your intuition can guide you towards recognizing the red flags and protecting yourself from further emotional harm by prompting you to reevaluate the dynamics and prioritize your well-being. Conclusion Experiencing devaluation and discard in a relationship with a narcissist can be emotionally devastating. Recognizing the warning signs is crucial for your well-being and can help you make informed decisions about your future.  Remember, you deserve to be in a healthy and loving relationship where your needs and boundaries are respected. Trust your intuition, seek support from trusted friends and professionals, and prioritize your happiness and self-care.  

Read More
list of reasons why narcissist ignores you

Why Narcissist Ignores You?

Narcissists commonly got this super messed up behaviour of straight-up ignoring the victim. It’s like they can’t see beyond their own needs and desires, and they just don’t give a darn about the pain they cause others. The victims end up feeling like they don’t matter at all.  Breaking free from this messed-up situation is crucial for the victims, But without knowing the reason behind the behaviours of narcissists, you run in circles with them in the abusive relationship. Narcissists Ignore Your Pain The narcissist’s behaviour of ignoring you is a distressing display of their self-centred nature and lack of empathy. When confronted with the consequences of their actions, they effortlessly turn a blind eye to the suffering they have caused. Their need to maintain an inflated sense of self-worth overshadows any concern for the well-being of others, leaving them feeling dismissed, unheard, and insignificant. It’s like the narcissist thinks they’re untouchable and can do no wrong. They act like they’re immune to any responsibility or accountability. Apart from ignoring your pain, narcissists ignore you to cause pain too. Let’s see how and why below. Reasons Why Narcissists Ignore You Narcissists may ignore you for various reasons like, When You Confront them Lack of Narcissistic Supply from you When You Block Them In the Devaluation Phase with you To Manipulate You To Gaslight you When they fear you And for more reasons. But why? To control of course. To control the situation, To control you, to control your life, and whatnot? Let’s delve deeper into why narcissists are so fond of ignoring the victims. 1. To make you feel Guilty The narcissists tend to blow tiny mistakes way out of proportion, making them seem like the end of the world. So, even if you did something small, they’ll act like you caused a major disaster. When they get mad at you, they might give you the silent treatment. It’s like a punishment to make you feel super guilty for what you did. They want you to crawl back to them, begging for forgiveness like crazy. 2. Make you go Behind Them Do you know how some narcissists just love to play games, especially in romantic relationships? They get a real kick out of it. It’s like they enjoy the excitement of knowing someone is into them, and they actually like being chased.  So, if you notice them suddenly ignoring you, especially during that initial intense phase where they shower you with affection (the love-bombing phase), it might mean they’re starting to feel a little too attached. They want to flip the script and have you chasing after them instead. 3. When they get another Narcissistic Supply Narcissists – they might start ignoring you if they’ve got their eyes on a new target, like another person who can give them that sense of entitlement they crave. You see, narcissistic supply is what they call anything that feeds their ego and makes them feel like they’re the absolute best. They’re kind of addicted to getting approval, attention, and admiration from others. It’s like they depend on it to feel good about themselves, just as much as they need food and water. 4. To Make you Jealous When it comes to narcissists, they might pull this trick by ignoring you by pretending they’re super busy when, in reality, they’re not that occupied at all. Why do they do this? Well, it’s all part of their little game to make themselves seem way more important and exciting than they actually are. They want you to feel jealous of their supposed super cool and happening life, even though it might just be smoke and mirrors. Also, they’ll be all secretive and mysterious about the people they hang out with. It’s like they don’t want you to know who’s in their life, and that’s just to mess with your head and make you feel uncertain. They want you to start acting all needy around them like you desperately want their attention. 5. To gain 24×7 Attention As babies cry to get attention from their moms, sometimes narcissists ignore you just because they crave attention. It’s like they want to see how you’ll react and keep you on your toes. When you confront them about it, they often come up with excuses like, “Oh, sorry, I’ve been busy!” But it doesn’t always make sense, and it can be super frustrating for you. The thing is, they like to stir the pot and play mind games with you. They might ignore your texts and calls but then suddenly like something you post on social media. It’s all a bit confusing, right? Well, that’s exactly what they want. They enjoy messing with your mind and seeing how you respond. Will they stop ignoring you in the future? The thing is, The more you tolerate and enable their behaviour, the more they’ll keep doing it. 6. To initiate a Fight Narcissists kind of thrive on conflicts. Conflict is like a playground for them; they find it interesting and sometimes even enjoyable. They enjoy pushing your buttons and watching you react. By ignoring you, they’re hoping to get under your skin and make you confront them about it. They feed off the conflict and chaos that follows, finding some kind of sick satisfaction in creating tension between you two. 7. To test your tolerance to the abuse When a narcissist ignores you, it’s like they’re putting you to the test to see how much you can handle their mistreatment. It’s as if they want to push your buttons and gauge your tolerance for their abusive behaviour. They play this game of silent treatment, making you feel insignificant and unimportant, just to see if you’ll stick around and take their nonsense.  They’re basically using this tactic to see how much control they have over you and how far they can push you without you walking away. It’s like they get some twisted satisfaction from watching you squirm and struggle to gain…

Read More
image of man who is a narcissist reacting in anger for blocking them. It has texts related to it.

How does Narcissists React when You Block Them?

Breaking up with a narcissist is hard enough, but hitting that “block” button can feel like a new level of liberation. However, don’t be surprised if your newfound freedom has some unwanted side effects. Narcissists may react in a poisonous and nasty manner when you block them, but how could they possibly harm you if you have blocked them? They certainly can, and here’s how.   Blocking a Narcissist Blocking a narcissist can be a daunting task that requires mental preparation. It is indeed a difficult decision, but it’s also an important step toward protecting your mental and emotional well-being.  You should be mentally prepared before blocking a narcissist by earning about narcissists and how they would react if you block them is vital while building a support system of people who validate and support your decision. Setting clear boundaries or no contact is also a part of practicing before blocking a narcissist. From anger and aggression to persistent attempts at contact, understanding how narcissists react when you block them is essential for maintaining your emotional well-being and safety.    Reactions of Narcissists when you block them Blocking a narcissist can lead to immediate backlash since it will block not just the communication but also the narcissistic supply to the narcissist. Hence, out of anger or narcissistic fear, they react in so many ways to have their way with you to either get back to the relationship or hurt you. Narcissists react to blocking similarly to when they can’t control you. Here’s how,    1. Stalk Blocking a narcissist might seem like the end of a tumultuous relationship, but for them, it’s just the beginning of a disturbing obsession. The moment you cut off their supply of attention and control, they’ll resort to stalking as their first move. Stalking becomes their twisted tool to reclaim their perceived ownership over you and manipulate your emotions. They will let you know that they are stalking you which indirectly projects that they are now a victim of your act. This will trigger your guilt and drawback to the abusive bond again by unblocking them. 2. Ghosting Narcissists be like If the first doesn’t work, then the second will do. Ghosting is a silent treatment that is a manipulative tactic aimed at asserting control and causing emotional distress. By disappearing without explanation, they inflict a sense of confusion and self-doubt, making you question if you were the one at fault. However, ghosting behavior is a reflection of their inability to handle rejection and a desperate attempt to maintain their superiority. 3. Send Flying Monkeys / Enablers If their steps to hoover you back fail, they send others named “Flying Monkeys” or “Narcissist Enablers“. These are individuals the narcissist enlists to do their bidding and attack you on their behalf. When they realize their control over you is slipping due to the block, they may deploy these flying monkeys to harass, guilt-trip, or pressure you into re-establishing contact. These individuals may include friends, family members, or even acquaintances misled by the narcissist’s twisted version of events. The flying monkeys might be innocent too, however, it is better to distance yourself from anyone attempting to coerce you into reconnecting with the narcissist. 4. Gets contact with your close ones Narcissists can’t control themselves from watching you and knowing about you. Moving on is not in their dictionary. Hence, they try to get in contact with your close friends and relatives. This gives them additional access too like garnering sympathy, spreading false narratives, or even creating a divide between you and your loved ones. Hence, Surround yourself with a support system that understands and respects your boundaries, allowing you to heal and regain control of your life.    5. Try reaching you somehow When the patience of the narcissist is over and the narcissist didn’t get another victim in the meantime, they try reaching you somehow. When they realize their direct access to you has been severed, they resort to sneaky tactics to maintain contact.  They may try reaching out through unknown numbers, fake identities, or anonymous online profiles, hoping to catch you off guard. This covert approach is a desperate attempt to bypass your boundaries and regain control over you.   6. Apologize When there is no way to get back to you, they realize that an apology is what brings you back into control. However, these apologies are often disingenuous and lack genuine remorse. Their primary goal is not to take responsibility for their actions but to manipulate and regain their influence over you. These insincere apologies are part of their elaborate tactics to hoover you back into their web of manipulation. They might pull out their charm and pretend to be humble, making it tricky to see their real intentions. Spotting these fake apologies is crucial to safeguard yourself from more emotional harm.   7. Smear Campaigns Although the above points hurt us due to the malicious behavior of narcissists, there are activities of narcissists that are done in an act of revenge or anger. In the list, smear campaigns are one.  When they are unable to handle rejection, they may turn to ruin your reputation if they are unable to deal with rejection and loss of control to preserve face and retain their image of superiority.  They propagate false rumors, half-truths, and distortions about you in order to alter others’ perspectives and turn people against you through a smear campaign. This premeditated and cruel behavior is intended to socially isolate you, making you feel helpless and powerless. 8. Threaten you Blocking a narcissist can trigger dangerous and manipulative behavior, often leading to threatening actions aimed at regaining control. These threats can take various distressing forms, such as blackmailing, where they may attempt to use personal information or intimate images to coerce and manipulate you.  Their goal is to instill fear and vulnerability, making you reconsider your decision to block them. This doesn’t mean, you should go back to them. However, you should…

Read More
Banner displaying ways to make narcissist fear you

How to Make a Narcissist Fear You?

Narcissists may seem like they have it all together, but beneath their grandiose facade lies a dark secret: a deep-seated fear of inadequacy and vulnerability. So, how to get the fear out of the abuser who frightened you for a time being? You can get some great tips on how to make narcissists fear you.    Can a narcissist be frightened? A narcissist can be frightened in the same way as anyone else. However, narcissists may experience fear differently from others due to their exaggerated sense of self-importance and desire for admiration. Fear is a natural human emotion and can arise in response to various stimuli, including physical danger, social rejection, or failure. A study published in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Review found that narcissists were more likely to experience fear in response to threats to their self-esteem or ego, such as criticism or rejection, rather than physical threats or danger.  The study also found that narcissists may be less likely to seek social support in response to fear, as they may view it as a sign of weakness or vulnerability.   How does Narcissist reacts when they fear you? When a narcissist is scared of you, they might react in different ways. They might become angry or aggressive and try to control you to show that they are not afraid.  They might also avoid you or try to stay away from situations where they might encounter you.  The narcissist may try to trick or manipulate you to gain control over the situation.    Before getting into the article, we want you to know this platform is created with the motive that you can vent out your emotions through the comment section of the articles you relate to. You can either comment and respond to the people you relate to and also register with Udante if you want to have a private and friendly conversation with us for free.   Ways to make a narcissist fear you Making a narcissist shouldn’t be one’s primitive motive, however, As a defensive step, you can follow these effective ways to make the narcissist fear you, feel threatened and step back from their abusive behavior.   1. Don’t Argue After Saying “No” When you say “no” to a narcissist, they will often try to argue with you or wear you down into compliance. To avoid this, it’s important not to argue after saying “no” because that’s when they’ll start trying to convince you. This is because, narcissists always use your opinions against you in the form of gaslighting and if you don’t argue after saying “no,” narcissists may fear that they’re losing control over you. They may become frustrated and try to manipulate you into changing your mind.   2.  Don’t show empathy Does the narcissist expect empathy from you? Yes, narcissists use empathy as a tool to gain attention and validation from their victims. Especially covert narcissists tend to use their vulnerabilities (let’s say, The narcissist cries whenever you want to fight them for their mistake) to the victim and get instant control as well as validation. But if you stop showing the validation out of empathy, the narcissist might start getting the reality of their vulnerabilities and fear that their vulnerabilities won’t be validated by you.    3. Start Engaging with their Friends Narcissists tend to show off themselves as great socializers by having more friends. But once you start socializing with their friends, they would start panicking and feel insecure about this. This is because narcissists claim to have friends who are close but they’re not. Friends always know about the narc and remember how the narcissist treated them.  Hence, you socializing with them would reveal the narcissist’s traits and might get exposed. Narcissists might also fear that they might lose their existing close friends to you and also may feel jealous of you.    4.  Act independent Control is the greatest thing that drives narcissists and so, the abusive traits depend upon the control they want to have over you. However, if you get away from that line to act independently a bit, You can see the narcissist’s fear of losing that control.  Just say that when you started to do things in addition to what the narcissist wants you to do or say that you make plans without them, the narcissist gets triggered out of fear and tries to gain control back by all means.    5. Stop validating and Say the Truth Validation is the best narcissistic supply that ensures the narcissist that they have control over the victim. When you stop validating them and start saying,  “No instead of Yes” “This is wrong instead of You’re always right” “This is better than yours instead of Nothing can be better than yours” Now you can see the narcissist crumble in fear, anger and get insulted. However, the narcissist will either become more aggressive or demanding towards you to get the validation back. Just be sure not to get into trouble.   6. Act Virtue and expect the same It is challenging for a narcissist to prioritize ethical considerations over their own self-interest. They may act virtuously for gaining admiration, however, their desire for attention, grandiosity and feeling to be entitled for controlling others doesn’t let them act right all the time.  As a partner or friend of a narcissist, they expect you to support them and go along with their acts. But when you deny to do so and ask them to act in ethical ways, the narcissists take a step back.  Asking them to be virtuous is like asking them not to be a narcissist. It fears them as they survive with those traits for a long time manipulating everyone and doing things according to their way.    7. Set Boundaries Narcissists fear greatly when you begin to develop and enforce boundaries. While creating boundaries with a narcissist, it is critical to remain firm because you will face abuse. If you had set firm boundaries, It…

Read More
cover image representing, See how narcissists reacts when you break their control

How Narcissists React when they can’t Control You?

Are you tired of constantly feeling controlled and manipulated by a narcissistic individual in your life? It’s time to change things to right. Break their controlling cycle and discover how narcissists react when they can’t control you.  Narcissists are individuals who have an inflated sense of self-importance and an excessive need for admiration and attention. In order to attain those, they need a sense of control over others. So, narcissists exploit those in their lives by manipulating and showing no empathy for them to gain control over them.  In relationships, this can manifest as attempts to dominate and control their partners through tactics such as gaslighting, bullying, and coercion. It’s important to recognize these patterns of behavior and seek help in addressing them if you are in a relationship with a narcissistic individual. Before getting into the article, we want you to know this platform is a community for Narcissists survivors where you can vent out your emotions through the comment section of our articles you relate to. You can either comment and respond to the people you relate to and also register with Udante if you want to have a private and friendly conversation with us for free.  Why do Narcissists control others? Narcissists want to control others to maintain a sense of power and to regulate their own insecurities and self-esteem. By controlling their environment and the people in it, they can avoid feeling vulnerable and ensure that they always receive the admiration and attention they crave.  Additionally, control allows them to manipulate situations to their advantage and avoid being held accountable for their actions. By exerting control, narcissists can also feed their sense of superiority and assert their dominance over others. How do Narcissists feel when they control others? When a narcissist is able to control others, they often feel a sense of power, validation, and superiority. This reinforces their belief in their own grandiose sense of self-importance and further fuels their need for admiration and attention. It is worth noting, however, that this sense of satisfaction is typically short-lived and also wants more. So, the need for control often becomes a vicious cycle that is difficult to break. It is possible that the act of controlling others releases dopamine in the brains of narcissists. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that is associated with feelings of pleasure, reward, and motivation.  Controlling others can be a pleasurable and rewarding experience for narcissists as it reinforces their sense of power, superiority, and self-importance, leading to a release of dopamine in the brain and making the behavior more addicting. How do Narcissists react when they can’t control others? When a narcissist can’t control you, it brings out their inner insecurities. Narcissists when their self-esteem and pride get failed leading them to get anxious and feel defeated. Hence, they may react in any of the following ways Become Angry Birds When they can’t control someone, it is common for narcissists to react with frustration and anger when their attempts at control are challenged, as their sense of superiority is often tied to their ability to control others.  When their sense of superiority is threatened, they may lash out in anger, either through verbal or physical aggression, or passive-aggressive behavior. This reaction is often rooted in a need to reassert their dominance and regain control. Malignant and grandiose narcissists are more likely to react in this way. Gets Disappointed in the Core They may feel frustrated and inadequate when they can’t control a situation, leading to feelings of disappointment. This can be particularly challenging for them as their self-pride gets down and the feeling of grandiosity drops. Some narcissists may have a greater need to control others as a means of regulating their own emotions and insecurities. When they are unable to do so, they may experience greater levels of disappointment. Withdrawal from everything In some cases, they may withdraw from the situation and avoid any further interaction if they feel that their attempts at control have failed. This can involve physically withdrawing from the situation, such as leaving the room or ending a conversation, or it can involve emotional withdrawal, such as becoming distant or unresponsive. This can be a way for them to avoid facing their own limitations and inadequacies. On the other hand, they do withdraw in the form of ghosting. This helps narcissists to regain attention and control over you. By ghosting you, the narcissist can communicate their dissatisfaction and exert a passive form of control. Shameless gets shame If their attempts at control are publicly exposed or challenged, they may experience feelings of shame and embarrassment. Their sense of superiority is often tied to their ability to control others, and when this is challenged, they may feel a deep sense of humiliation.  Narcissists may try to hide their feelings of shame by rationalizing their behavior and shifting the blame onto others. Below reactions by narcissists is the cause of the excess shame, they feel when they can’t control you. Denial as if nothing happened Denial is a common defense mechanism used by narcissists, and it can be a barrier to growth and change. Narcissists deny that they have failed to control you and experiencing negative emotions. For example, imagine a narcissist is told by a friend that they were rude and dismissive during a conversation. Instead of admitting that they might have acted inappropriately, the narcissist may say something like, “I was just having a bad day, you’re overreacting.”  Projection to protect them They may project their own feelings and behavior like, accusing you of trying to control them or of having the same motivations that they themselves have. In such cases, the narcissist will point out you as the problem rather than admit their controlling attempts. The narcissists might say “It was you who trying to control me”. In another instance, if a narcissist is unable to convince someone to do what they want, and instead of accepting that they were not successful in exerting their control, they blame the…

Read More
image of Two skeleton kissing each other saying "What happens when two narcissists date"

How do Two Narcissists Live in a Relationship?

A Narcissistic couple may look like having a joyous and romantic life together, but you may not know the dark truth that happens. Let’s look at what happens when two narcissists date and how two narcissists live in a relationship.    A narcissist is a person with a personality disorder characterized by excessive self-love and self-obsession. In relationships, narcissistic individuals may initially seem charming and attentive, but their true colors soon surface as they prioritize their own needs above their partner’s and have a lack of empathy for others. They may use love as a tool to manipulate and control their partner, leading to unhealthy and unequal dynamics in the relationship.   Before getting into the article, we want you to know this platform is a community for Narcissists survivors where you can vent out your emotions through the comment section of our articles you relate to. You can either comment and respond to the people you relate to and also register with Udante if you want to have a private and friendly conversation with us for free.    Can Two narcissist Fall in Love? Yes, it is possible for two narcissists to form a relationship. However, their relationship is likely to be tumultuous and marked by manipulation, control, and a constant struggle for power. As both partners prioritize themselves above the relationship, there may be a lack of intimacy, emotional depth, and mutual support. These factors can contribute to the relationship’s instability and ultimately lead to its demise.   How do narcissists fall in love with each other? Two narcissists may love each other because they see themselves reflected in each other and feel validated by the relationship. They may also find each other to be a source of supply, fulfilling their need for admiration and attention. Narcissists may be attracted to other narcissists because they see a reflection of themselves in the other person and feel validated by the relationship. They may also find each other to be a source of supply, fulfilling their need for admiration and attention. Additionally, both partners may enjoy the power dynamic in the relationship, with each trying to control the other. The relationship may become a competition for who is the superior one, with both partners seeking to assert their dominance.   Relationship Between Two Narcissists When two narcissists date and become a narcissistic couple, it can turn into a tumultuous and volatile experience for both parties and eventually collapse. When two narcissists fall in love, they may initially feel it to be a thrilling and intense experience.  They may idealize each other and see the relationship as a perfect match. However, as the relationship progresses, the power struggles between the two individuals become increasingly evident. Despite the harm it causes to both partners, they may struggle to leave the relationship too. So, this will increase the duration of this narcissistic relationship prolonging.    What happens when two narcissists date? When two narcissists fall in love, they may initially react in the following ways: Idealization: They may idealize each other and see the relationship as a perfect match, with both individuals sharing a grandiose sense of self-importance. Mutual Mirroring: They may engage in mutual mirroring, where they both reflect and amplify each other’s positive traits, leading to a heightened sense of validation and self-esteem. Intense Attraction: The combination of idealization and mutual mirroring may result in an intense attraction between the two narcissists. Power Struggles: As the relationship progresses, the power struggles between the two individuals may become increasingly evident. Each partner may try to assert their dominance and control over the other. Manipulation: In an effort to maintain control, they may engage in manipulation, trying to control their partner’s emotions and thoughts. Emotional Abuse: The toxic dynamics of their mutual Narcissistic Personality Disorder can result in emotional abuse, with each partner trying to undermine the other’s sense of self-worth. Difficulty Leaving: Due to their strong need for validation and control, they may struggle to leave the relationship, despite the harm it causes to both partners. We can classify this whole period of the Relationship between two narcissists into two different phases namely Sweet Phase and the Toxic Phase.    Sweet Phase of a Narcissistic Couple The initial phase of a relationship between two narcissists can be described as Sweet Phase and it is intense and exhilarating. Both individuals may feel a strong attraction to each other due to their mutual self-absorption and grandiose sense of self-importance.  Since they share mutual personality traits, they may feel like they are made for each other, however, this excitement is often short-lived. As the relationship progresses, the toxic dynamics of their mutual Narcissistic Personality Disorder can become increasingly evident, leading to the collapse of the relationship.   Toxic Phase of a Narcissistic Couple The toxic phase of a relationship between two narcissists is characterized by power struggles, manipulation, and emotional abuse. As the initial excitement of idealization and mirroring fades, the relationship becomes increasingly hostile, with each partner trying to assert their dominance and control over the other.  The relationship becomes an endless cycle of emotional abuse, with each partner trying to undermine the other’s sense of self-worth and control their behavior. Ultimately, this toxic dynamic can lead to the end of the relationship, causing significant emotional damage to both individuals. During this Toxic phase, there occurs more drama, aggression, fights, manipulations, and so on. We can witness a whole Narcissist vs Narcissist battle.   Read to know about Fights between different types of narcissists   Ending with a Note It’s important to note that individuals with narcissistic traits can experience significant personal growth and improvement with proper therapy and self-reflection. However, without effort to change, a relationship between two narcissists is likely to be unstable and may eventually end in disappointment and heartbreak.  Also, narcissists possess no will to change and are renowned for lacking self-growth. So, try to avoid getting included between a narcissistic couple as it can be exhausting and abusive as…

Read More
How do narcissists react when they know you know

How Narcissists Reacts When they know you know about them?

Narcissists are experts at hiding their true faces and unveiling that face to the public might be the worst nightmare they could possibly expect. But, when the narcissist knows you know about them, these 11 reactions listed in this article may burst out of them.    Narcissists are often secretive in nature, as they seek to maintain control over the perception of themselves and their actions. They keep their true selves hidden and only reveal certain aspects of themselves to others. Narcissists also have a tendency to hide their true feelings and intentions, in order to manipulate and control others. Why narcissists are secretive? People with narcissistic traits often tend to have affairs, relationships or financial dealings that they keep hidden from others. To avoid getting caught, narcissists keep things secret. They are most prone to lying and deceit, in order to maintain control over the situation and to prevent being exposed.  Narcissists want to present a certain image of themselves to the world, and they fear that if their true selves were exposed, they would lose power and control over others. In order to protect the image of perfection that is created by them, they lie and deceive everyone around them.   How do Narcissists react when they know you know?  Narcissists are known for their inflated sense of self-importance and their tendency to exploit others for their own gain. When a narcissist knows that you know about their behavior, they may react in a number of ways to avoid their self-esteem getting destroyed. Here are 11 potential reactions that a narcissist may have when they know that you know about their behavior:   1. Refusal and Denial Narcissists have an inflated sense of self-importance, and they may not be able to accept the idea that they have done something wrong.  They may deny that their behavior is problematic, and try to convince you that you are mistaken or overreacting. This reaction is an attempt to avoid accountability and to maintain their image of perfection. For example, your narcissistic partner may simply deny any of your confronts telling you that you are overreacting when you bring up incidents of them yelling or throwing things.   2. Blame-shifting and Making Reasons Narcissists often try to avoid taking responsibility for their actions. It is easy for them to shift the blame for their behavior onto you, accusing you of causing their actions or of being too sensitive.  They may also blame external circumstances, such as work stress or financial problems, for their behavior. This reaction is an attempt to avoid accountability and maintain control over the situation. For example, If your partner cheats, they blame you for their actions, saying that you were not paying enough attention to them and that’s why they sought affection elsewhere.   3. Gaslighting  Narcissists may use manipulation tactics to control and exploit others. One such tactic is gaslighting, where they try to make you question your own perceptions and memories. If you were not strong in their confronts, you may fall right into the gaslights and believe their claims to be true. Denying any events that took place is an act to convince you that you imagined them, in an attempt to make you doubt yourself and your understanding of the situation. Making you Doubt yourself is one of the worst effects of gaslighting that victims always suffer. This reaction is an attempt to maintain control over the relationship and to make it harder for you to hold them accountable for their actions. For example, When you bring up instances of them demeaning or insulting you in front of others, a narcissist may tell you that you’re imagining things.   4. Withdrawal or Silent treatments Since narcissists are not ready to face you as you know about them now, they try to withdraw from the relationship, either physically or emotionally, in an attempt to avoid accountability for their behavior.  They may stop communicating with you or refuse to engage in discussions about the issue. This reaction is an attempt to avoid accountability and maintain control over the relationship. For example, Your partner may stop talking to you and refuse to engage in any conversations when you confront them about their behavior, in an attempt to avoid accountability.   5. Aggression Narcissists may become angry and aggressive when their behavior is called into question. Aggression is mostly found in narcissists who are malignant and other types of narcissists show comparatively low aggression. Lashing out at you in an attempt to intimidate or control you, using verbal abuse, threats, or even physical violence are the parts of aggression they express when they know you know about the narcissists.  This reaction is an attempt to assert dominance and maintain control over the relationship.  For example, A narcissist with whom you have any relationship will become angry and aggressive when you confront them about their lies and may raise their voice or use threatening language to try to intimidate you into dropping the subject. It will turn into verbal abuse, bringing out the past and any irrelevant scenarios to make your point invalid.    6. Projection When the narcissist came to know you know about them, he/she may accuse you of the exact behaviors that they are guilty of in order to divert attention away from their own acts. They may accuse you of being selfish, controlling, or manipulative in order to divert attention away from their own conduct. This reaction is an attempt to avoid accountability and retain control over the relationship. For example, if your partner cheats and you confront them, the narcissistic partner will try to accuse you of cheating with someone else out of the blue to divert or validate their behavior.   7. Triangulation Narcissistic Triangulation is an act of bringing a third person into a relationship to cause confusion, abuse, and control the victim. Narcissists may try to create division between you and others in your life, by spreading rumors or lies…

Read More
Top cheating patterns of a covert narcissists

Cheating Patterns of the Covert Narcissists

Narcissists always follow certain patterns in their abusive behavior. They follow a unique pattern to cheat their partners. Cheating gets tougher to find and hard to get over when it is a covert narcissist especially.   Covert narcissists often appear to be humble, shy, or even self-effacing, but underneath this facade lies a deep-seated need for admiration, validation, and control.   Love and Covert Narcissist A covert narcissist is a type of narcissist who is less obvious in their narcissism than an overt or “classic” narcissist. They may appear shy, humble, or even self-effacing, but underneath they have the same sense of entitlement and lack of empathy as an overt narcissist. They may also use manipulation, control, and passive-aggressive behavior to get their way. Covert narcissists may have a difficult time with love, as they tend to be emotionally unavailable and can’t empathize with others. They may also be prone to idealizing and then devaluing their partners. They may also use love as a tool for manipulation, rather than genuinely caring for the other person.   Why do covert narcissists cheat their partners? Covert narcissists may cheat because they have a strong need for attention and validation from different persons. They may seek out new partners to feed their ego, or to gain a sense of power over others. Narcissists lack empathy, and may not see the harm that their actions cause to others. They have a great sense of self-esteem and believe that they have the right to cheat and that their needs are more important than their partner’s emotions. If you are dating a person who possesses the traits of a covert narcissist, here are some cheating patterns they might do for you.   The cheating Patterns of a Covert Narcissist Covert narcissists are known for being highly secretive and often hide their infidelities. They may cheat in a variety of ways, and some of the most common cheating patterns of a covert narcissist that include:   1. Emotional affairs A person who is covertly narcissistic may form deep emotional connections with people outside of their primary relationship. This can happen through social media or online platforms, where they may feel anonymous and free to express themselves without judgment.    They may also seek out people who they believe will be a better match for them than their current partner. These emotional affairs can be just as damaging as physical affairs, as they can drain emotional energy and create distance in the primary relationship. For example,  Your partner may have a close friendship with a colleague at work. They may confide in each other about their problems and feelings, and may even flirt with each other. They may feel that this colleague understands them better than you and may start to develop feelings for them. Your partner may not physically cheat on you, but the emotional connection they have with this colleague is a form of infidelity.   2. Manipulation  The act of manipulating others is a primary tactic of a narcissist. In terms of Covert narcissists, they may manipulate their partner into believing that they are faithful, while secretly engaging in infidelity. They may use manipulation tactics such as lying, withholding information, and playing the victim to cover their tracks.  Narcissists also tend to be very good at playing the victim. They may manipulate situations and make their partner feel guilty for questioning their loyalty, in order to keep them from suspecting anything. For example,  Your partner may cheat on you but then manipulate you into thinking that they were not at fault. For example, they may blame you for not paying enough attention to them or for being too controlling, which led them to cheat. They may also convince you that they were drunk, depressed or that it was a one-time mistake.   3. Gaslighting Covert narcissists may use gaslighting tactics to blame their partner for their own infidelity or to make them question their own reality. They may deny any wrongdoing, even when presented with evidence to the contrary, and may make their partner feel like they are crazy for suspecting anything. This can lead to the partner feeling unsupported and isolated, which can make it difficult to leave the relationship. For example, Your partner may cheat on you and then convince you that you are overreacting or imagining things. They may also make you question your own memory, for example, by saying that you misremember the events or that you misunderstood their intentions.   4. Compartmentalization Covert narcissists may keep their relationships and affairs separate and compartmentalized so that their partner does not suspect anything. They may be very discreet in their activities and may have different phone numbers or email addresses for different people. They may also keep their affairs hidden from family and friends, which can make it difficult for the partner to discover the infidelity. For example, Your partner may cheat on you by keeping their relationships and affairs separate and compartmentalized. They may have a separate phone number or email address for their lover, and may only see them at certain times or places. He/She may also keep their affairs hidden from family and friends, which can make it difficult for you to discover the cheating behavior.   5. Denial Covert narcissists may deny any wrongdoing or infidelity, even when presented with evidence to the contrary. They may use manipulation tactics such as lying, withholding information, and playing the victim to cover their tracks. They may also make their partner feel guilty for questioning their fidelity, in order to keep them from suspecting anything. For example, Your partner may cheat on you and then deny any wrongdoing when confronted. They may use manipulation tactics such as lying, withholding information, and playing the victim to cover their tracks. They may even accuse you of being paranoid or not trusting them. They may also refuse to acknowledge any evidence that you may have that proves to cheat.    A Final Suggestion…

Read More
Answers to Why does my narcissist never come back?

Why does my narcissist never come back?

After reading all the web articles and forums, you may be wondering why the narcissist who left you has never returned. “Am I not worthy enough to be hoovered by the narcissist?” you may wonder. This article may alter your mind.   First and foremostly, it is good that you are currently away from the narcissist, no matter whether you left or the narcissist discarded you. It may be unfortunate that you didn’t have a formal closure with your narcissist. But having a formal closure is nearly impossible to have with a narcissist. But if you think of having a formal closure when the narcissist tries to hoover or come back into being in a relationship and wonder why didn’t they come back, here are some reasons for it.    Even though the narcissist didn’t come back as you guessed, it is not advisable to feel defeated or worthless as the narcissist does want you to feel like that.    Do read the best things that happen after leaving the narcissist.   Whether you had gone no contact or the narcissist discarded you, the good thing is you are staying away from the narcissist right now. Life after leaving the narcissist will be a roller coaster of emotions as you deal with traumas and simultaneously heal and develop self-worth and boundaries. The feeling of lowering down your self-forth for not being hoovered back by the narcissist is also a part of it.   You don’t have to feel down anymore as nothing is wrong with your side. Here is some valid intel about why your narcissist never came back to you.    Why does the narcissist never come back to hoover you?   The narcissist will never come back if the narcissist has another supply, feels the victim can no longer be manipulated, doesn’t want to seem vulnerable in front of the victim, or knows the victim will never heal from the traumatic bonds. Putting your self-worth into hoovering by a narcissist who doesn’t value you is not worth time.  If you are valuing the love you had with the narcissist yet, you might feel guilty about leaving the narcissist. This may push you into self-doubts that you are the problem in the relationship. But the truth is, it has nothing to do with you, and the narcissist has failed you.  Narcissists are never successful in acquiring healthy relationships as they are just trying to fill the void in their souls.  If you still bother about the narcissist who never came back, here is the list of why the narcissist never wants to hoover you again. Hope this intel clarifies your doubts and heals you faster.  Udante recommends that you read our blogs to learn more about narcissism. You can use the comment box to vent and share your experiences regarding this subject. If you need to talk to someone about your feelings and vent, visit here and schedule a session. Not wanting to look vulnerable in front of the victim   Unless one is a vulnerable narcissist, you cannot see a narcissist who seems weak around you. This is because of narcissists’ inflated sense of self-importance, which leads them to believe that by apologizing and acting as though they love you back in order to hoover, they might lose control over the victim.  Narcissists disgust the feeling of looking vulnerable as well as giving you the validation you deserve. So, if your narcissist never comes back, understand that their self-importance is greater and more toxic than you imagine.    You can no longer be manipulated.   Narcissists are more conscious of your awareness level. They can feel the emotions you endure, the anger you express, and the deprivation of love. If they found that you came to know about them, and developed self-worth and boundaries, then it is obvious that you can no longer be manipulated.  Hence, the narcissist will choose to leave you and never come back again. It is good, isn’t it?  If you think this is the reason your narcissist has never tried to hoover back, then you are in the safe place.    Got another narcissistic supply   Narcissists never tend to stay in a relationship for long. But it might be heart-breaking when your narcissists get another partner with whom they seem to have a healthy and long-lasting relationship.  However, here is the reality behind that.  1. Your narcissist may depict that their current relationship is more successful than they had with you. Faking the circumstance is what narcissists are specialists at. They know that you are stalking their profile (even if it was once in a while). So, the narcissists plot to exhibit their current relationship just to hurt you.  2. The narcissist’s new partner is a good supply with more resources. The narcissist might find sticking with them worth it even though the relationship was abusive and toxic. The new supplier will also suffer and maybe worse than you.  3. Narcissists might have relationships with people with any one of these personalities. The personality traits include beta, healers, and others who act as better narcissistic enablers, who are capable of having a prolonged relationship with the narcissists.  Whatever it is, it isn’t worth getting jealous and feeling not-worthy enough for a person who refuses to see your worth.            View this post on Instagram                       A post shared by Udante (@udanteofficial)   Afraid of narcissistic injury   Narcissists are afraid of shame, so all they do in their lives is avoid getting shame by manipulating people to validate them. Giving the taste of their behaviors back leads to either complete rage or an everlasting narcissistic injury Once the narcissist leaves you, they think about the after-effects of discarding the person before trying to hoover you back. For example, “What if you didn’t respond to our hoovering tactics?” “What if you discarded them back?” “What if you expose their traits?” Can’t believe that the…

Read More