Narcissists may seem like they have it all together, but beneath their grandiose facade lies a dark secret: a deep-seated fear of inadequacy and vulnerability. So, how to get the fear out of the abuser who frightened you for a time being? You can get some great tips on how to make narcissists fear you.
Can a narcissist be frightened?
A narcissist can be frightened in the same way as anyone else. However, narcissists may experience fear differently from others due to their exaggerated sense of self-importance and desire for admiration. Fear is a natural human emotion and can arise in response to various stimuli, including physical danger, social rejection, or failure.
A study published in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Review found that narcissists were more likely to experience fear in response to threats to their self-esteem or ego, such as criticism or rejection, rather than physical threats or danger.
The study also found that narcissists may be less likely to seek social support in response to fear, as they may view it as a sign of weakness or vulnerability.
How does Narcissist reacts when they fear you?
When a narcissist is scared of you, they might react in different ways.
- They might become angry or aggressive and try to control you to show that they are not afraid.
- They might also avoid you or try to stay away from situations where they might encounter you.
- The narcissist may try to trick or manipulate you to gain control over the situation.
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Ways to make a narcissist fear you
Making a narcissist shouldn’t be one’s primitive motive, however, As a defensive step, you can follow these effective ways to make the narcissist fear you, feel threatened and step back from their abusive behavior.
1. Don’t Argue After Saying “No”
When you say “no” to a narcissist, they will often try to argue with you or wear you down into compliance. To avoid this, it’s important not to argue after saying “no” because that’s when they’ll start trying to convince you.
This is because, narcissists always use your opinions against you in the form of gaslighting and if you don’t argue after saying “no,” narcissists may fear that they’re losing control over you. They may become frustrated and try to manipulate you into changing your mind.
2. Don’t show empathy
Does the narcissist expect empathy from you? Yes, narcissists use empathy as a tool to gain attention and validation from their victims. Especially covert narcissists tend to use their vulnerabilities (let’s say, The narcissist cries whenever you want to fight them for their mistake) to the victim and get instant control as well as validation.
But if you stop showing the validation out of empathy, the narcissist might start getting the reality of their vulnerabilities and fear that their vulnerabilities won’t be validated by you.
3. Start Engaging with their Friends
Narcissists tend to show off themselves as great socializers by having more friends. But once you start socializing with their friends, they would start panicking and feel insecure about this. This is because narcissists claim to have friends who are close but they’re not. Friends always know about the narc and remember how the narcissist treated them.
Hence, you socializing with them would reveal the narcissist’s traits and might get exposed. Narcissists might also fear that they might lose their existing close friends to you and also may feel jealous of you.
4. Act independent
Control is the greatest thing that drives narcissists and so, the abusive traits depend upon the control they want to have over you. However, if you get away from that line to act independently a bit, You can see the narcissist’s fear of losing that control.
Just say that when you started to do things in addition to what the narcissist wants you to do or say that you make plans without them, the narcissist gets triggered out of fear and tries to gain control back by all means.
5. Stop validating and Say the Truth
Validation is the best narcissistic supply that ensures the narcissist that they have control over the victim. When you stop validating them and start saying,
“No instead of Yes”
“This is wrong instead of You’re always right”
“This is better than yours instead of Nothing can be better than yours”
Now you can see the narcissist crumble in fear, anger and get insulted. However, the narcissist will either become more aggressive or demanding towards you to get the validation back. Just be sure not to get into trouble.
6. Act Virtue and expect the same
It is challenging for a narcissist to prioritize ethical considerations over their own self-interest. They may act virtuously for gaining admiration, however, their desire for attention, grandiosity and feeling to be entitled for controlling others doesn’t let them act right all the time.
As a partner or friend of a narcissist, they expect you to support them and go along with their acts. But when you deny to do so and ask them to act in ethical ways, the narcissists take a step back.
Asking them to be virtuous is like asking them not to be a narcissist. It fears them as they survive with those traits for a long time manipulating everyone and doing things according to their way.
7. Set Boundaries
Narcissists fear greatly when you begin to develop and enforce boundaries. While creating boundaries with a narcissist, it is critical to remain firm because you will face abuse. If you had set firm boundaries, It means that they have little access to your emotion, information, and lifestyle. In other words, they have little control over you.
Setting boundaries is not just for narcissists, it’s a life skill that everyone needs to know to give others only limited access to your life. To other people, setting boundaries is a form of understanding whereas, to narcissists, it’s not. Narcissists fear boundaries.
8. Speak the truth with evidence
Narcissists are good at altering the truth and they do so in a variety of ways. They occasionally overstate the truth. At times, they downplay the seriousness of their errors. Other times, they distort the truth to satisfy their own agenda.
So, when you strictly speak about what it is with the right example, say a recorded voice note or a third-person victim you know the truth. They get fear since their aim to manipulate others fails and failing to project their own way of truth. A strong truth is a threat to narcissists.
9. Withhold Emotional Reactions
Emotions are what narcissists play with. They get happy seeing you experiencing a roller coaster of emotions because of them. Narcissists are people who love attention and when you don’t react emotionally to them, they may get upset or mad.
Withholding emotions makes narcissists feel their abusive tactics aren’t working anymore and that scares them. They fear that you’re getting resilient to their abuse and losing control over you.
10. Publicly Criticize
Narcissists think they are really important and don’t like it when people say mean things about them in front of others. When you criticize a narcissist in public, they may feel embarrassed or angry.
They might also worry that other people will think they are not as great as they believe themselves to be. The fear is that when you criticize narcissists, people will see who they are. This can be really scary for them because they want everyone to think they are the best.
11. Use Reality as a Weapon
Narcissists have big egos and think they are always right. When you show a narcissist the reality of a situation that doesn’t match up with their beliefs, they might feel scared or upset. When you successfully prove the narcissist’s opinion can be false, it triggers their fear and feels threatened by you.
They might not want to believe that they were wrong, so they might try to argue with you or find ways to prove that they are right.
12. Seek Support
When you have friends who support you instead of the narcissist, it can make them feel worried or upset. This is why narcissists always try to abduct the victim’s support as they can find flaws in them, support the victim, weakens the control over the victim and so.
Seeking good people by your side will be a good fearful tactic for a narcissist and good emotional support for you as well. Good allies help you stay out of abuse and might give a clear idea of the abusive situation. This spoils the abusive cycle of narcissists and that’s why narcissists don’t allow supportive people near you.
13. Exploit their Vulnerabilities
Narcissists fear being exposed for who they really are. They have deep-seated fears that they try to hide from others. If you can figure out what those fears are, you can use them to your advantage. For example, tease them about their habits, or hobbies that they’re insecure about in front of your friends or in public and see how their ego clicks and fear busts out.
When you exploit their vulnerabilities, narcissists feel powerless and frustrated. They will try to regain control by lashing out at you or trying to manipulate you into feeling guilty or ashamed.
While it’s not advisable to intentionally try to make a narcissist fearful, setting and enforcing healthy boundaries can help prevent them from taking advantage of you.
However, learning how to make narcissists fear you helps you to keep narcissists away from you. Making narcissist fear may not turn out good all time because you are dealing with an abuser here. Anything that threatens them, they enforce it to wipe it.
So, it is recommended to hold them accountable for their actions and prioritize our own well-being, we can work towards creating healthier, more respectful relationships.