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What happens on Ignoring a Narcissist?

Narcissists generally don’t like being ignored, as it stifles their desire for constant validation and control.They might react with anger, or attempt to gain their attention or pursue revenge. It is therefore crucial to handle these situations with caution and a sense of support There’s nothing that the person who is a narcissist would rather than be ignored. If you do not take care of a narcissist you run the risk of a likelihood that they become angry. Now, the question is “What occurs when you do not pay attention to an Narcissist? And how is it going affect your life?”. We will go through this article to find out more about this. What is the impact on you?   What does Ignoring mean to a Narcissist? Narcissists thrive on a continuous flow of admiration and attention from other people, commonly described as their “narcissistic supply.’ This is vital to maintain their self-esteem and conceal their deep-seated fears. Each compliment, each acknowledgment and every affirmation boosts their self-image. If this attention is cut off, narcissists experience a deep loss, similar to physical loss. The loss of attention could trigger a variety of responses that originate in their need to replenish their narcissistic quota. This is akin to stopping the endless fake drama. The act of ignoring a narcissist could cause intense reactions, such as anger, manipulation and self-destruction if their need for attention is not fulfilled. On the contrary, You should also know Why Narcissists Ignore you? Is Ignoring the right way to get away from the narcissist? A narcissist might be able to sabotage others’ feelings and sabotage their self-worth. So, taking revenge could cause you to be just as selfish as the people around you. Follow the no-contact rule, and then walk away from them. Neglecting a narcissist is an effective way of getting away from their manipulation and lessening their influence upon your personal life. This is known as”the “gray rock” method. By minimizing emotional responses and keeping a neutral, non-interesting appearance, you decrease the narcissist’s desire to interact with you. You should Read: Best Things That Happens After Leaving the Narcissist How Narcissists will React being Ignored? Narcissists usually react negatively to being ignored since it challenges their self-esteem and their constant need for admiration and attention from you. They can become angry, irritable or even rageful and they might try to get your attention by different methods, including guilt-tripping or pleading, or making threats. In some instances, they might even shout at you physically or verbally. When you ignore a narcissist, he/she might assume that you have figured them for who they are. Hence you can expect the reaction exactly similar when you know about narcissist and their narcissistic tendencies. Let’s see what are the best chances of how narcissists will react to being ignored.    1. Ghosting you Back Narcissists are like if the first method doesn’t work but the second one does, then the first will work. Ghosting is a method of treatment that is a devious tactic to assert control and create emotional stress. By not addressing them, they cause feelings of confusion and self-doubt, causing you to think you are the culprit. However, their behavior of ghosting is a sign of their ability to deal with rejection and is a desperate effort to preserve their status.   2. Stalk Forever The act of ignoring a narcissist may appear to be a way of putting a stop to the destructive narcissistic bond however, in their eyes, this is the beginning of an ominous obsession. Once you’ve cut off their control and attention then they’ll begin to stalk you as their first step. Stalking can be used as a way to assert their authority over you and control your feelings. They’ll inform you that they’re stalking you, which implies that they’re the victim of your behavior. This can trigger guilt and pull you back to the abusive bond once more by removing them.   3. Contact your loved ones Narcissists can’t resist looking at you and observing your actions. By ignoring them, they are not receiving enough narc supply. Moving on isn’t in their vocabulary. Therefore, they attempt to contact your closest relatives and friends. They gain access, such as gaining sympathies, spreading false stories and even creating a rift in between yourself and family members. Therefore, surround yourself with a community that understands and respects your boundaries, which will allow your body to recover and gain control over your life.   4. Send Flying Monkeys and enablers If their efforts to distract you and draw your attention fail then they will send other people named “Flying monkeys” and ” Narcissist Enablers“. These are people whom the narcissist has enlisted to perform their own bidding and to attack you on their behalf. When they realize that their control over you is declining due to blockage and they are able to deploy the flying monkeys to intimidate you, guilt-trip or press you to take back the drugs from you. They could be relatives, friends or acquaintances who are who are misled by the narcissist’s delusional story of the events. The flying monkeys could also be innocent, however, it is better to avoid anyone who tries to convince you to return to the person who is a narcissist. Also read, Reaction of Narcissists when blocked 5. Apologize for sake If there’s no way to reach, they understand that an apology will bring you back under control. But, the apology is typically untrue and does not show genuine regret. Their main goal is not to be accountable for their actions, but rather to manipulate them and gain power over their victims. Insincere apology statements are a part of their elaborate strategy to lure you back to their web of manipulation. They may play up their charm and appear modest, making it difficult to discern their true motives. Recognizing fake apology messages is vital to protect yourself from emotional damage   6. Try to provoke you…

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banner image with text can you make a narcissist obsessed with you? and the answer to that as yes

How to Make a Narcissist Obsessed with You?

The idea of making a narcissist obsessed with you might seem tempting – a way to regain control or perhaps even seek revenge. But, it’s super important to know that going down this path could have some serious drawbacks. If you’re seeking to manipulate or take revenge against a narcissist, this article might not be the best guide for you. For those who’ve suffered due to narcissistic behavior, the emotional toll can be immense. While it’s natural to want to regain a sense of power and make them feel the pain they’ve inflicted, seeking revenge usually doesn’t lead to real healing. This article wants to help you understand narcissists and whether is it really possible to make them obsess over you by following the methods given below.  Do Narcissists become obsessed with you? Yes, a narcissist can become obsessed with you if they recognize that your ability to consistently meet their insatiable need for narcissistic supply. This supply could encompass admiration, attention, and validation, which are crucial for a narcissist’s self-esteem.  Once the narcissist realizes the potential for abundant supply within someone, their addiction to the person can intensify, and they may focus their attention on that individual, seeking to extract as much validation as possible.  This fixation continues until the narcissist’s interest wanes, often due to their ever-shifting desires and short attention span. Steps to make a narcissists obsessed with you You can make a narcissist obsessed with you by making yourself appear high-value, playing hot and cold, ignoring them sometimes, and being emotionally unavailable. Using a “hot and cold” method, where you sometimes give them a lot of attention and other times pull away, makes them want your approval even more.  The Following tactics can make their obsession with you stronger and makes them keep trying to get your approval, which they find kind of hard to get.   1. Give a Taste of Narcissistic Supply Narcissists are naturally attracted to people they think they can easily control and manipulate. To catch a narcissist’s interest, it can work well to act like you’re really impressed by their charm at first.  Let them believe that they’re truly charming you. Make them feel like they’re in charge by letting them make choices for you, like what you wear, eat, or how you talk.  Once you give a little bit of narcissistic supply– that’s like attention and admiration – they want more and more.  This makes them start getting really fixated on you over time. Their constant need for validation becomes a big reason why they keep trying to get your attention. 2. Make Them Dependent on You Make the narcissist really want to be close to you by making them depend on you. When you’re spending time with the narcissist in your life, do things you’re really good at (or things they really don’t want to do). Don’t make them dependent on you financially or any big leaps. Just keep it on basic level dependency that wouldn’t make you trouble. The narcissist will start enjoying this little dependency and check how far they could pull you off. Hence, they’ll demand more efforts from you and be obsessed with your efforts. 3. Keep Your Value High To keep a narcissist really interested, always remind them how great you are. Show off your important job, big group of friends, or a special skill that everyone wants. Exhibit yourself that you are admired by many. Keep yourself as a secret and Show them that there is a lot more to learn about you. When they always know how amazing you are, they’ll become really focused on wanting to keep you around. This strong desire comes from their need to be connected with someone they see as extraordinary. It makes them want to stay close to you. 4. Spend Quality time with Friends and Family Let them see that you’ve got your own life going on and it is awesome, so they’ll want to be a part of it. If they realize you’re spending time and effort on other relationships, they might start feeling jealous or wanting to look out for you.  Make sure you hang out with other people or do things you love, and tell them about it. This way, they’ll understand that you’re not only focused on the relationship, and it will make you seem like an interesting challenge to them. This way of doing things doesn’t just show that you’re not only thinking about the relationship, but it also makes you seem really interesting and like a challenge to control. It’s like you’re a person with lots of different sides that keep them wanting to pay attention to you all the time. And the narcissist will react if you can’t be controlled in a way that they get jealous and get more addicted over you.  5. Withdraw emotionally before the Abuse To make a narcissist really obsessed with you, start pulling back emotionally before any possible mistreatment starts.  When you distance yourself emotionally as soon as you notice them trying to control or treat you badly, you’re setting a limit that challenges their sense of control.  This doesn’t just mess up their expected power balance, but also makes them want to get back the attention and control they think they should have.  Making a Narcissist fear you is pretty easy. By showing that you’re emotionally strong before any bad treatment happens, you’re basically making them really want to get back that connection they’re scared of losing. This makes their obsession with you even stronger. 6. Tend to be more attractive Show yourself as extra appealing when you’re around people, especially of the opposite gender triggers their need to compete and brings out their hidden insecurities.  When they see that others are giving you attention, especially people they might consider as rivals, they’ll want to show they’re in charge of you even more.  This smart move can make them super focused on getting your approval, trying to show they’re valuable…

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How does Narcissists React when You Block Them?

Breaking up with a narcissist is hard enough, but hitting that “block” button can feel like a new level of liberation. However, don’t be surprised if your newfound freedom has some unwanted side effects. Narcissists may react in a poisonous and nasty manner when you block them, but how could they possibly harm you if you have blocked them? They certainly can, and here’s how.   Blocking a Narcissist Blocking a narcissist can be a daunting task that requires mental preparation. It is indeed a difficult decision, but it’s also an important step toward protecting your mental and emotional well-being.  You should be mentally prepared before blocking a narcissist by earning about narcissists and how they would react if you block them is vital while building a support system of people who validate and support your decision. Setting clear boundaries or no contact is also a part of practicing before blocking a narcissist. From anger and aggression to persistent attempts at contact, understanding how narcissists react when you block them is essential for maintaining your emotional well-being and safety.    Reactions of Narcissists when you block them Blocking a narcissist can lead to immediate backlash since it will block not just the communication but also the narcissistic supply to the narcissist. Hence, out of anger or narcissistic fear, they react in so many ways to have their way with you to either get back to the relationship or hurt you. Narcissists react to blocking similarly to when they can’t control you. Here’s how,    1. Stalk Blocking a narcissist might seem like the end of a tumultuous relationship, but for them, it’s just the beginning of a disturbing obsession. The moment you cut off their supply of attention and control, they’ll resort to stalking as their first move. Stalking becomes their twisted tool to reclaim their perceived ownership over you and manipulate your emotions. They will let you know that they are stalking you which indirectly projects that they are now a victim of your act. This will trigger your guilt and drawback to the abusive bond again by unblocking them. 2. Ghosting Narcissists be like If the first doesn’t work, then the second will do. Ghosting is a silent treatment that is a manipulative tactic aimed at asserting control and causing emotional distress. By disappearing without explanation, they inflict a sense of confusion and self-doubt, making you question if you were the one at fault. However, ghosting behavior is a reflection of their inability to handle rejection and a desperate attempt to maintain their superiority. 3. Send Flying Monkeys / Enablers If their steps to hoover you back fail, they send others named “Flying Monkeys” or “Narcissist Enablers“. These are individuals the narcissist enlists to do their bidding and attack you on their behalf. When they realize their control over you is slipping due to the block, they may deploy these flying monkeys to harass, guilt-trip, or pressure you into re-establishing contact. These individuals may include friends, family members, or even acquaintances misled by the narcissist’s twisted version of events. The flying monkeys might be innocent too, however, it is better to distance yourself from anyone attempting to coerce you into reconnecting with the narcissist. 4. Gets contact with your close ones Narcissists can’t control themselves from watching you and knowing about you. Moving on is not in their dictionary. Hence, they try to get in contact with your close friends and relatives. This gives them additional access too like garnering sympathy, spreading false narratives, or even creating a divide between you and your loved ones. Hence, Surround yourself with a support system that understands and respects your boundaries, allowing you to heal and regain control of your life.    5. Try reaching you somehow When the patience of the narcissist is over and the narcissist didn’t get another victim in the meantime, they try reaching you somehow. When they realize their direct access to you has been severed, they resort to sneaky tactics to maintain contact.  They may try reaching out through unknown numbers, fake identities, or anonymous online profiles, hoping to catch you off guard. This covert approach is a desperate attempt to bypass your boundaries and regain control over you.   6. Apologize When there is no way to get back to you, they realize that an apology is what brings you back into control. However, these apologies are often disingenuous and lack genuine remorse. Their primary goal is not to take responsibility for their actions but to manipulate and regain their influence over you. These insincere apologies are part of their elaborate tactics to hoover you back into their web of manipulation. They might pull out their charm and pretend to be humble, making it tricky to see their real intentions. Spotting these fake apologies is crucial to safeguard yourself from more emotional harm.   7. Smear Campaigns Although the above points hurt us due to the malicious behavior of narcissists, there are activities of narcissists that are done in an act of revenge or anger. In the list, smear campaigns are one.  When they are unable to handle rejection, they may turn to ruin your reputation if they are unable to deal with rejection and loss of control to preserve face and retain their image of superiority.  They propagate false rumors, half-truths, and distortions about you in order to alter others’ perspectives and turn people against you through a smear campaign. This premeditated and cruel behavior is intended to socially isolate you, making you feel helpless and powerless. 8. Threaten you Blocking a narcissist can trigger dangerous and manipulative behavior, often leading to threatening actions aimed at regaining control. These threats can take various distressing forms, such as blackmailing, where they may attempt to use personal information or intimate images to coerce and manipulate you.  Their goal is to instill fear and vulnerability, making you reconsider your decision to block them. This doesn’t mean, you should go back to them. However, you should…

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How to Make a Narcissist Fear You?

Narcissists may seem like they have it all together, but beneath their grandiose facade lies a dark secret: a deep-seated fear of inadequacy and vulnerability. So, how to get the fear out of the abuser who frightened you for a time being? You can get some great tips on how to make narcissists fear you.    Can a narcissist be frightened? A narcissist can be frightened in the same way as anyone else. However, narcissists may experience fear differently from others due to their exaggerated sense of self-importance and desire for admiration. Fear is a natural human emotion and can arise in response to various stimuli, including physical danger, social rejection, or failure. A study published in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Review found that narcissists were more likely to experience fear in response to threats to their self-esteem or ego, such as criticism or rejection, rather than physical threats or danger.  The study also found that narcissists may be less likely to seek social support in response to fear, as they may view it as a sign of weakness or vulnerability.   How does Narcissist reacts when they fear you? When a narcissist is scared of you, they might react in different ways. They might become angry or aggressive and try to control you to show that they are not afraid.  They might also avoid you or try to stay away from situations where they might encounter you.  The narcissist may try to trick or manipulate you to gain control over the situation.    Before getting into the article, we want you to know this platform is created with the motive that you can vent out your emotions through the comment section of the articles you relate to. You can either comment and respond to the people you relate to and also register with Udante if you want to have a private and friendly conversation with us for free.   Ways to make a narcissist fear you Making a narcissist shouldn’t be one’s primitive motive, however, As a defensive step, you can follow these effective ways to make the narcissist fear you, feel threatened and step back from their abusive behavior.   1. Don’t Argue After Saying “No” When you say “no” to a narcissist, they will often try to argue with you or wear you down into compliance. To avoid this, it’s important not to argue after saying “no” because that’s when they’ll start trying to convince you. This is because, narcissists always use your opinions against you in the form of gaslighting and if you don’t argue after saying “no,” narcissists may fear that they’re losing control over you. They may become frustrated and try to manipulate you into changing your mind.   2.  Don’t show empathy Does the narcissist expect empathy from you? Yes, narcissists use empathy as a tool to gain attention and validation from their victims. Especially covert narcissists tend to use their vulnerabilities (let’s say, The narcissist cries whenever you want to fight them for their mistake) to the victim and get instant control as well as validation. But if you stop showing the validation out of empathy, the narcissist might start getting the reality of their vulnerabilities and fear that their vulnerabilities won’t be validated by you.    3. Start Engaging with their Friends Narcissists tend to show off themselves as great socializers by having more friends. But once you start socializing with their friends, they would start panicking and feel insecure about this. This is because narcissists claim to have friends who are close but they’re not. Friends always know about the narc and remember how the narcissist treated them.  Hence, you socializing with them would reveal the narcissist’s traits and might get exposed. Narcissists might also fear that they might lose their existing close friends to you and also may feel jealous of you.    4.  Act independent Control is the greatest thing that drives narcissists and so, the abusive traits depend upon the control they want to have over you. However, if you get away from that line to act independently a bit, You can see the narcissist’s fear of losing that control.  Just say that when you started to do things in addition to what the narcissist wants you to do or say that you make plans without them, the narcissist gets triggered out of fear and tries to gain control back by all means.    5. Stop validating and Say the Truth Validation is the best narcissistic supply that ensures the narcissist that they have control over the victim. When you stop validating them and start saying,  “No instead of Yes” “This is wrong instead of You’re always right” “This is better than yours instead of Nothing can be better than yours” Now you can see the narcissist crumble in fear, anger and get insulted. However, the narcissist will either become more aggressive or demanding towards you to get the validation back. Just be sure not to get into trouble.   6. Act Virtue and expect the same It is challenging for a narcissist to prioritize ethical considerations over their own self-interest. They may act virtuously for gaining admiration, however, their desire for attention, grandiosity and feeling to be entitled for controlling others doesn’t let them act right all the time.  As a partner or friend of a narcissist, they expect you to support them and go along with their acts. But when you deny to do so and ask them to act in ethical ways, the narcissists take a step back.  Asking them to be virtuous is like asking them not to be a narcissist. It fears them as they survive with those traits for a long time manipulating everyone and doing things according to their way.    7. Set Boundaries Narcissists fear greatly when you begin to develop and enforce boundaries. While creating boundaries with a narcissist, it is critical to remain firm because you will face abuse. If you had set firm boundaries, It…

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How Narcissists React when they can’t Control You?

Are you tired of constantly feeling controlled and manipulated by a narcissistic individual in your life? It’s time to change things to right. Break their controlling cycle and discover how narcissists react when they can’t control you.  Narcissists are individuals who have an inflated sense of self-importance and an excessive need for admiration and attention. In order to attain those, they need a sense of control over others. So, narcissists exploit those in their lives by manipulating and showing no empathy for them to gain control over them.  In relationships, this can manifest as attempts to dominate and control their partners through tactics such as gaslighting, bullying, and coercion. It’s important to recognize these patterns of behavior and seek help in addressing them if you are in a relationship with a narcissistic individual. Before getting into the article, we want you to know this platform is a community for Narcissists survivors where you can vent out your emotions through the comment section of our articles you relate to. You can either comment and respond to the people you relate to and also register with Udante if you want to have a private and friendly conversation with us for free.  Why do Narcissists control others? Narcissists want to control others to maintain a sense of power and to regulate their own insecurities and self-esteem. By controlling their environment and the people in it, they can avoid feeling vulnerable and ensure that they always receive the admiration and attention they crave.  Additionally, control allows them to manipulate situations to their advantage and avoid being held accountable for their actions. By exerting control, narcissists can also feed their sense of superiority and assert their dominance over others. How do Narcissists feel when they control others? When a narcissist is able to control others, they often feel a sense of power, validation, and superiority. This reinforces their belief in their own grandiose sense of self-importance and further fuels their need for admiration and attention. It is worth noting, however, that this sense of satisfaction is typically short-lived and also wants more. So, the need for control often becomes a vicious cycle that is difficult to break. It is possible that the act of controlling others releases dopamine in the brains of narcissists. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that is associated with feelings of pleasure, reward, and motivation.  Controlling others can be a pleasurable and rewarding experience for narcissists as it reinforces their sense of power, superiority, and self-importance, leading to a release of dopamine in the brain and making the behavior more addicting. How do Narcissists react when they can’t control others? When a narcissist can’t control you, it brings out their inner insecurities. Narcissists when their self-esteem and pride get failed leading them to get anxious and feel defeated. Hence, they may react in any of the following ways Become Angry Birds When they can’t control someone, it is common for narcissists to react with frustration and anger when their attempts at control are challenged, as their sense of superiority is often tied to their ability to control others.  When their sense of superiority is threatened, they may lash out in anger, either through verbal or physical aggression, or passive-aggressive behavior. This reaction is often rooted in a need to reassert their dominance and regain control. Malignant and grandiose narcissists are more likely to react in this way. Gets Disappointed in the Core They may feel frustrated and inadequate when they can’t control a situation, leading to feelings of disappointment. This can be particularly challenging for them as their self-pride gets down and the feeling of grandiosity drops. Some narcissists may have a greater need to control others as a means of regulating their own emotions and insecurities. When they are unable to do so, they may experience greater levels of disappointment. Withdrawal from everything In some cases, they may withdraw from the situation and avoid any further interaction if they feel that their attempts at control have failed. This can involve physically withdrawing from the situation, such as leaving the room or ending a conversation, or it can involve emotional withdrawal, such as becoming distant or unresponsive. This can be a way for them to avoid facing their own limitations and inadequacies. On the other hand, they do withdraw in the form of ghosting. This helps narcissists to regain attention and control over you. By ghosting you, the narcissist can communicate their dissatisfaction and exert a passive form of control. Shameless gets shame If their attempts at control are publicly exposed or challenged, they may experience feelings of shame and embarrassment. Their sense of superiority is often tied to their ability to control others, and when this is challenged, they may feel a deep sense of humiliation.  Narcissists may try to hide their feelings of shame by rationalizing their behavior and shifting the blame onto others. Below reactions by narcissists is the cause of the excess shame, they feel when they can’t control you. Denial as if nothing happened Denial is a common defense mechanism used by narcissists, and it can be a barrier to growth and change. Narcissists deny that they have failed to control you and experiencing negative emotions. For example, imagine a narcissist is told by a friend that they were rude and dismissive during a conversation. Instead of admitting that they might have acted inappropriately, the narcissist may say something like, “I was just having a bad day, you’re overreacting.”  Projection to protect them They may project their own feelings and behavior like, accusing you of trying to control them or of having the same motivations that they themselves have. In such cases, the narcissist will point out you as the problem rather than admit their controlling attempts. The narcissists might say “It was you who trying to control me”. In another instance, if a narcissist is unable to convince someone to do what they want, and instead of accepting that they were not successful in exerting their control, they blame the…

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Top cheating patterns of a covert narcissists

Cheating Patterns of the Covert Narcissists

Narcissists always follow certain patterns in their abusive behavior. They follow a unique pattern to cheat their partners. Cheating gets tougher to find and hard to get over when it is a covert narcissist especially.   Covert narcissists often appear to be humble, shy, or even self-effacing, but underneath this facade lies a deep-seated need for admiration, validation, and control.   Love and Covert Narcissist A covert narcissist is a type of narcissist who is less obvious in their narcissism than an overt or “classic” narcissist. They may appear shy, humble, or even self-effacing, but underneath they have the same sense of entitlement and lack of empathy as an overt narcissist. They may also use manipulation, control, and passive-aggressive behavior to get their way. Covert narcissists may have a difficult time with love, as they tend to be emotionally unavailable and can’t empathize with others. They may also be prone to idealizing and then devaluing their partners. They may also use love as a tool for manipulation, rather than genuinely caring for the other person.   Why do covert narcissists cheat their partners? Covert narcissists may cheat because they have a strong need for attention and validation from different persons. They may seek out new partners to feed their ego, or to gain a sense of power over others. Narcissists lack empathy, and may not see the harm that their actions cause to others. They have a great sense of self-esteem and believe that they have the right to cheat and that their needs are more important than their partner’s emotions. If you are dating a person who possesses the traits of a covert narcissist, here are some cheating patterns they might do for you.   The cheating Patterns of a Covert Narcissist Covert narcissists are known for being highly secretive and often hide their infidelities. They may cheat in a variety of ways, and some of the most common cheating patterns of a covert narcissist that include:   1. Emotional affairs A person who is covertly narcissistic may form deep emotional connections with people outside of their primary relationship. This can happen through social media or online platforms, where they may feel anonymous and free to express themselves without judgment.    They may also seek out people who they believe will be a better match for them than their current partner. These emotional affairs can be just as damaging as physical affairs, as they can drain emotional energy and create distance in the primary relationship. For example,  Your partner may have a close friendship with a colleague at work. They may confide in each other about their problems and feelings, and may even flirt with each other. They may feel that this colleague understands them better than you and may start to develop feelings for them. Your partner may not physically cheat on you, but the emotional connection they have with this colleague is a form of infidelity.   2. Manipulation  The act of manipulating others is a primary tactic of a narcissist. In terms of Covert narcissists, they may manipulate their partner into believing that they are faithful, while secretly engaging in infidelity. They may use manipulation tactics such as lying, withholding information, and playing the victim to cover their tracks.  Narcissists also tend to be very good at playing the victim. They may manipulate situations and make their partner feel guilty for questioning their loyalty, in order to keep them from suspecting anything. For example,  Your partner may cheat on you but then manipulate you into thinking that they were not at fault. For example, they may blame you for not paying enough attention to them or for being too controlling, which led them to cheat. They may also convince you that they were drunk, depressed or that it was a one-time mistake.   3. Gaslighting Covert narcissists may use gaslighting tactics to blame their partner for their own infidelity or to make them question their own reality. They may deny any wrongdoing, even when presented with evidence to the contrary, and may make their partner feel like they are crazy for suspecting anything. This can lead to the partner feeling unsupported and isolated, which can make it difficult to leave the relationship. For example, Your partner may cheat on you and then convince you that you are overreacting or imagining things. They may also make you question your own memory, for example, by saying that you misremember the events or that you misunderstood their intentions.   4. Compartmentalization Covert narcissists may keep their relationships and affairs separate and compartmentalized so that their partner does not suspect anything. They may be very discreet in their activities and may have different phone numbers or email addresses for different people. They may also keep their affairs hidden from family and friends, which can make it difficult for the partner to discover the infidelity. For example, Your partner may cheat on you by keeping their relationships and affairs separate and compartmentalized. They may have a separate phone number or email address for their lover, and may only see them at certain times or places. He/She may also keep their affairs hidden from family and friends, which can make it difficult for you to discover the cheating behavior.   5. Denial Covert narcissists may deny any wrongdoing or infidelity, even when presented with evidence to the contrary. They may use manipulation tactics such as lying, withholding information, and playing the victim to cover their tracks. They may also make their partner feel guilty for questioning their fidelity, in order to keep them from suspecting anything. For example, Your partner may cheat on you and then deny any wrongdoing when confronted. They may use manipulation tactics such as lying, withholding information, and playing the victim to cover their tracks. They may even accuse you of being paranoid or not trusting them. They may also refuse to acknowledge any evidence that you may have that proves to cheat.    A Final Suggestion…

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Answers to Why does my narcissist never come back?

Why does my narcissist never come back?

After reading all the web articles and forums, you may be wondering why the narcissist who left you has never returned. “Am I not worthy enough to be hoovered by the narcissist?” you may wonder. This article may alter your mind.   First and foremostly, it is good that you are currently away from the narcissist, no matter whether you left or the narcissist discarded you. It may be unfortunate that you didn’t have a formal closure with your narcissist. But having a formal closure is nearly impossible to have with a narcissist. But if you think of having a formal closure when the narcissist tries to hoover or come back into being in a relationship and wonder why didn’t they come back, here are some reasons for it.    Even though the narcissist didn’t come back as you guessed, it is not advisable to feel defeated or worthless as the narcissist does want you to feel like that.    Do read the best things that happen after leaving the narcissist.   Whether you had gone no contact or the narcissist discarded you, the good thing is you are staying away from the narcissist right now. Life after leaving the narcissist will be a roller coaster of emotions as you deal with traumas and simultaneously heal and develop self-worth and boundaries. The feeling of lowering down your self-forth for not being hoovered back by the narcissist is also a part of it.   You don’t have to feel down anymore as nothing is wrong with your side. Here is some valid intel about why your narcissist never came back to you.    Why does the narcissist never come back to hoover you?   The narcissist will never come back if the narcissist has another supply, feels the victim can no longer be manipulated, doesn’t want to seem vulnerable in front of the victim, or knows the victim will never heal from the traumatic bonds. Putting your self-worth into hoovering by a narcissist who doesn’t value you is not worth time.  If you are valuing the love you had with the narcissist yet, you might feel guilty about leaving the narcissist. This may push you into self-doubts that you are the problem in the relationship. But the truth is, it has nothing to do with you, and the narcissist has failed you.  Narcissists are never successful in acquiring healthy relationships as they are just trying to fill the void in their souls.  If you still bother about the narcissist who never came back, here is the list of why the narcissist never wants to hoover you again. Hope this intel clarifies your doubts and heals you faster.  Udante recommends that you read our blogs to learn more about narcissism. You can use the comment box to vent and share your experiences regarding this subject. If you need to talk to someone about your feelings and vent, visit here and schedule a session. Not wanting to look vulnerable in front of the victim   Unless one is a vulnerable narcissist, you cannot see a narcissist who seems weak around you. This is because of narcissists’ inflated sense of self-importance, which leads them to believe that by apologizing and acting as though they love you back in order to hoover, they might lose control over the victim.  Narcissists disgust the feeling of looking vulnerable as well as giving you the validation you deserve. So, if your narcissist never comes back, understand that their self-importance is greater and more toxic than you imagine.    You can no longer be manipulated.   Narcissists are more conscious of your awareness level. They can feel the emotions you endure, the anger you express, and the deprivation of love. If they found that you came to know about them, and developed self-worth and boundaries, then it is obvious that you can no longer be manipulated.  Hence, the narcissist will choose to leave you and never come back again. It is good, isn’t it?  If you think this is the reason your narcissist has never tried to hoover back, then you are in the safe place.    Got another narcissistic supply   Narcissists never tend to stay in a relationship for long. But it might be heart-breaking when your narcissists get another partner with whom they seem to have a healthy and long-lasting relationship.  However, here is the reality behind that.  1. Your narcissist may depict that their current relationship is more successful than they had with you. Faking the circumstance is what narcissists are specialists at. They know that you are stalking their profile (even if it was once in a while). So, the narcissists plot to exhibit their current relationship just to hurt you.  2. The narcissist’s new partner is a good supply with more resources. The narcissist might find sticking with them worth it even though the relationship was abusive and toxic. The new supplier will also suffer and maybe worse than you.  3. Narcissists might have relationships with people with any one of these personalities. The personality traits include beta, healers, and others who act as better narcissistic enablers, who are capable of having a prolonged relationship with the narcissists.  Whatever it is, it isn’t worth getting jealous and feeling not-worthy enough for a person who refuses to see your worth.            View this post on Instagram                       A post shared by Udante (@udanteofficial)   Afraid of narcissistic injury   Narcissists are afraid of shame, so all they do in their lives is avoid getting shame by manipulating people to validate them. Giving the taste of their behaviors back leads to either complete rage or an everlasting narcissistic injury Once the narcissist leaves you, they think about the after-effects of discarding the person before trying to hoover you back. For example, “What if you didn’t respond to our hoovering tactics?” “What if you discarded them back?” “What if you expose their traits?” Can’t believe that the…

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Good things happen after leaving a narcissist

10 best things that happen after leaving the narcissist

We all know that leaving the Narcissist is tough. However, here you are! Willing to know about the good things that happen after leaving the narcissist. Although walking away from a narcissist may be a post-traumatic journey fraught with self-doubt and anxiety, let’s concentrate on the positive aspects to help you see clearly and heal faster.   After so many struggles, hardships, and withstanding abuses, a victim of narcissism has no option except to either stay captive for the rest of their lives or leave the narcissist for peace. If you are here reading this article, you might have already left or are planning on leaving the narcissist.    You can be in a state of confusion and self-doubts right now about whether going No-Contact will benefit you or not. So, reading this article might give a clear view of the positive aspects of leaving the narcissist.    Udante recommends that you read our blogs to learn more about narcissism. You can use the comment box to vent and share your experiences regarding this subject. If you need to talk to someone about your feelings and vent, visit here and schedule a session.   Now, let’s get into the article.    What are the benefits after leaving the narcissist?   Leaving a narcissist may hit hard as your obsession with the person who manipulated you into an abusive relationship is strong and painful to get over that.    You may be guilty of leaving someone behind and uncertain whether your decision is correct or not. Some people believe that leaving an abusive partner makes them a narcissist. As a matter of fact, it is what every narcissistic survivor is experiencing after leaving the narcissist.    This is why you should read the article Am I a narcissist?   Leaving the narcissist is the only possible way for any victim to exit from an abusive relationship. You can neither change them nor call out on them for obvious reasons that may get things worse.    Is leaving the narcissist the best way?   Although stepping away from the trauma bond of a narcissistic relationship is painful and fraught with concerns and self-doubts, it opens the path for you to recover and build self-worth and boundaries, making your life better than it was in an abusive relationship.   Some of the best things that will happen in your life after leaving the narcissist are listed here.    1. End of endless monologues   When you are in a narcissistic relationship, they make you believe it as a mutual relationship at first, but in no time, a narcissist will start to monologue. The self-pride wants to show off who they are and what they are capable of. They want to be your center of attention, even if it takes all your energy, time, and money.    In a narcissistic relationship, your opinions don’t matter until they speak; Unfortunately, they won’t stop monologuing about themselves.   When you leave a narcissistic relationship, the endless validation you gave to their never-ending monologues comes to an end. The pressure to agree with their pointless opinions while dismissing yours will end. Isn’t that what freedom looks like to you? Yes, it is.   2. No more walking on eggshells   Victims of narcissists were constantly subjected to gaslighting, silent treatments, and narcissistic tantrums. Through this, they have complete control over your emotions. If you want to do something on your own, you will be afraid of triggering the narcissist.   The neverending fear of not triggering the narcissist and preserving the relationship from falling apart is what it feels like walking on eggshells.    View this post on Instagram   A post shared by Udante (@udanteofficial) Leaving the narcissist is when you realize that the relationship you worked so hard to keep has already fallen apart. Perhaps the relationship hasn’t even begun to end.   3. Full stop to meaningless fights and anxieties   Waking up to quarrels, tantrums, and battling different fights every day is how a relationship with a narcissist goes. Some get hurt, and some fight back, but it always is a nightmare to be in an abusive relationship.      Why should you fight for nothing if they have no will to change or genuinely apologize?   Life becomes calm and peaceful after leaving a narcissist, even though you struggle to move on. All you have to do is acknowledge the calm and peace in the absence of the narcissist. Embrace it and feel the difference.    4. You are enough for yourself   Giving everything to the narcissist that is meant for you is what every victim has done in a narcissistic relationship. Whatever you have done, the narcissist won’t get fulfilled. Their soul is like an empty hollow that can never be filled. Despite that, they ask for more attention and validation while disrespecting you.    The feeling of not being enough to your partner is hurtful. You don’t deserve that!   After leaving the narcissist, it is time to create self-worth and self-love. Validating oneself and admitting your innocence makes you sufficient for yourself. Even if the narcissist has isolated you from your friends and family, you cannot get back on track unless you first become enough for yourself.   5. Have a full seat, not on edge as before   Have you ever held your breath to stop crying and wet your pillows with tears in silence? You most likely would. The inability to resolve issues with the narcissist you love and accept what they gaslight pushes you over the edge, filling you with anxiety and stress. It feels like you are in the vicinity of their explosion.    The narcissist will drink down your throat and keep you on the verge of an emotional breakdown. The abuse you have indulged has no words to describe and no one to listen to.   As a turnaround, you will feel safe and secure after leaving the narcissist. You may…

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35 narcissistic red flags you missed out

35 Narcissistic Red flags Checklist

Identifying the narcissist at an earlier stage is not something that always happens. Survivors wish they knew about the red flags of the narcissist earlier and avoided the narcissist. But it isn’t that easy to find snakes in the forest, isn’t it? This article lists the narcissistic red flags for you to resemble your past, learn in the present, and be ready for the future.    Red flags of a narcissist are often neglected by the people’s ignorance and love for the person. The one who ignores the red flags is the one who gets trapped in an abusive relationship. Since narcissists are masters at manipulating you and hiding their noxious secrets, ignoring the red flags isn’t your fault. Apart from all that, you are now looking for solutions, learning about narcissism, and healing from those abusive experiences. Let’s spread awareness about the narcissistic red flags and help the community avoid narcissists.   What are narcissistic red flags?   For people who wonder what this is, Narcissists cannot hide their true selves forever, and so, within the time being, their behavior will get exposed either by themselves or through the circumstances. Knowing about narcissistic red flags will help you indicate the narcissist far quicker and evade an abusive relationship.     What are the red flags of a narcissist?   We are delving into several red flags you probably encountered before or may experience in the future. So, take note or download the narcissistic red flags checklist given below to refer to it throughout your life.   Just a reminder, if you find any narcissistic red flags here relevant to what you have experienced, feel free to vent it on the comment section. This platform is for you to vent out your emotions. Let’s share our thoughts and help the community.     Note the red flags given in this article, analyze the person, and note it on the checklist if you have doubts like “Am I dating a narcissist?” “Are my parents narcissists?” “Why am I getting traumatic experiences around the people I love?” “Are my friends toxic?”   1. The look of Narc’s friends on you   Narcissists most likely don’t bring their friends to your life. But if they tend to do, the narcissist probably wants to exhibit their socializing skills. On such occasions, narcissists’ friends’ eyes will tell stories about your narc’s past.   It’s not the eyes of the narc’s friends that hate you but surprisingly, they see you in a pitying manner. If you looked closely, you could feel the doubts in their mind, like, “How does she even end up with him?” You know that they knew something about your Narc partner, and that is how the friends of narcissists are.   2. Have very low to zero friends   There are different types of narcissists but possess similar abusive patterns. The only difference is their personality and red flags. The grandiose and malignant narcissists usually have more friend circles to get the center of attention between others. But covert or vulnerable narcissists keep their traits hideous by having no one around them. Such narcissists treat their friends so badly that no one wishes to stick with them.    Even though they claim to have friends, they won’t let you interact with them. If you tried to interact, you could feel that the friends are not even close and rarely even acquaintances.   3. Doesn’t like your friends   Narcissists hate the victim with support. So, they manipulate you to give full attention to them, leaving your friends behind. They often refuse to interact with your friends and project them as toxic ones. Narcissists fear your friends’ questioning eyes and get anxious knowing that you have external support.   4. Double standards for the friends of the opposite sex   Narcissists are very good at triangulating people and playing with their emotions. They intentionally introduce someone of their opposite sex and make you feel jealous. But in your case, you just cannot even introduce a genuine friend of the opposite gender to the narcissist. If that happens, the narcissist will try to project you as a cheater by saying,   “Oh, who’s that guy you are close with? Are you planning on cheating me?” “You are flirting with her like she’s your girlfriend.”   Narcissists do this as they want them to be the only opposite gender you must rely on. This is one of the crucial narcissistic red flags to notice; otherwise, they would spoil your whole friend circle of yours.   5. Never hangouts with your people   If you are in a relationship, you are probably dreaming of a future with your partner, and that’s what love is. But narcissists do not see any future with you despite seeing you as a controlling toy. So, engaging with your people can lead to trouble in the future. To avoid this, narcissists avoid hanging out with people close to you, especially your family.   So remember this red flag, One who is not ready to meet your people does not wish your life to be good either.   6. Dislikes anything you like   When you start dating a narcissist, it looks like everything goes as you intend to be. They resonate with whatever you like and project it as you both have a lot in common. But in time, the red flag will appear right in front of you. The narcissist will always dislike anything you like; for example, if you like a popular show and so does everyone, the narcissist won’t.   The narcissist will ask you to change your perceptions to what they like; otherwise, they refuse to spend time with you. This act of the narcissist is to test their control over you, especially at the beginning of the abuse. (Mention what your narcissist likes in you at first but dislikes later in the comments).   7. Monologues about themselves   Narcissists can hide anything but not their…

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Banner to support children of narcissistic parents

How to Support Children of Narcissistic Parents?

If you are a parent who adopted a child or is divorced and raising the child separately or a teacher who looks out for the student who exhibits odd behaviors as a result of previous experiences with narcissistic parents, this article is for you. Note some crucial points that help to support and guide a child who was raised by narcissistic parents.   Narcissism manifests into our life on various occasions like friendships, relationships, workplaces, politics, and families. But in a Kid’s life, the parents play a major role in introducing narcissism into their lives. The ways the kids experience narcissism through their parents are: over validation, neglect, gaslights, manipulation, abuse, blameshifts, comparison, and triangulation. So, supporting a child raised by a narcissistic parent needs a strong awareness of narcissism, studying the ways to guide them, and executing them right.   If you are afraid that the kid of the narcissistic parent might also be a narcissist, here is some good news for you. According to psychologists, narcissistic traits are present in children raised by narcissistic parents, but the personality develops and becomes a disorder only after the age of 18, sometimes longer.   So, with a proper amount of guidance, empathy, and love, one can support a child to heal from his/her trauma, leading them to a normal life.   Guide to supporting a child of narcissistic parents   How to support a child raised by a narcissist? To support and guide the kid who was raised by a narcissistic parent, a well-researched understanding of narcissism and certain good practices are required to curb the narcissistic traits radiating in them. So, during the mission to support the child raised by the narcissistic parent, Restrain the sense of entitlement Construct boundaries and restrictions Don’t criticize the narcissistic parent Be a calm parent Do not give up on them Limit the interaction with the narcissist Teach them empathy Give freedom to take decisions Train Personality development skill Finally, be ready to let them go on their own are the ways to support a child to heal from the trauma bond with the narcissistic parent.   Restrain the sense of entitlement   It is common to see narcissistic traits in children of narcissistic parents, especially the state of feeling entitled. The child may get overvalued by hiding their shame if they are the golden child to the parents. The kid might seem to have high self-esteem and look down on others including you. Such children find it hard to adapt to situations and act rude to others to feel entitled.   So, be frank about the rude behavior and bullies in a gentle manner, and teach the child that he/she is not special and is the same as other kids.   Construct boundaries and restrictions   Set limits to the child to not cross it and discipline them in good habits, for e.g., limit the financial expenses, do not let them disrespect you, etc. Making them respect your boundaries helps them to set boundaries for themselves.   Don’t criticize the Narcissistic Parent in front of the child   You probably hate the narcissistic parent that leaves the child behind, but it is not advisable to criticize the narcissist in front of the child. Although the narcissist was being hurtful to the child, the child still may love the parent only for the good times he/she had with the narcissist during the manipulation and love bombing phases.   The innocent child is not aware of the narcissistic behaviors, and so, talking ill about the narcissist in front of them makes them feel disappointed in you and may lead to a conclusion that you are being rude and heartless.   Be a calm parent   Unlike life with a narcissist, the child must not feel the emotional roller coaster. Instead, the kid must feel safe and peaceful in your presence. To do that, give a calm composure, be liberal to their opinions, always listen to them, and give suggestions rather than giving orders. This makes them feel comfortable, be open about their feelings, and wish to stay with you.   Do not give up on them   At the moment, the child may feel like he/she lost everything in their life after their narcissistic parents. So, a sudden love and care from your side may feel fake and temporary. So, they try to push your limits to see your true face as like their previous narcissistic parent. Such kids need constant love and care from your side to prove to them you are different. So, get a hold of this idea and do not give up on them. Have you ever experienced narcissistic abuse or currently experiencing one? Are you struggling to vent about that to anyone? Remember that venting to somebody who listens to you is the first step to healing. So, register here and vent to a listener who understands you. Limit the interaction with the narcissistic parent   Not everyone can go no contact with the narcissist, some are bound by the law and things. So, try to limit the interaction between the narcissist and the child, without being violent. The narcissist one who threw away the victims will always come back playing the victim card. You may not be the one who falls for it, but the innocent child does. So, limit the interaction as much as possible. The narcissist will try to breach the limit sometimes which should be taken immediately with legal actions.    Teach them Empathy   Narcissists lack empathy and neglect to understand human emotions. If such traits are found in the child, show unconditional love, be cheerful around them, and do not hide your emotions with them. Express the sadness, love, happiness, upset, and the reason behind them. Make sure they acknowledge your emotions. Verbalizing your feelings helps them to understand your emotions, as a result, the child will develop good communication with you and start expressing their emotions too.    You might have witnessed the kids of narcissists being rude…

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