Narcissistic enablers are the one who enables or boosts the dark triad traits in the narcissists by providing a surplus amount of validation and attention that a narcissist needs. This narcissistic supply triggers narcissism in a person and becomes more noxious in time. Check out the article to know more about the traits of narcissistic enablers.
A person with a narcissistic tendency looks out to exploit others emotionally, physically or both to feel entitled among others. They are self-centered with high self-esteem who abuse regardless of family, friends, or partners. The narcissism in a person gets strong when they are motivated to expose their traits. This is what enablers do, they provide the narcissistic supply that motivates the narcissists to play with the emotions of the victims. So a clear understanding of the traits of narcissistic enablers is required to protect ourselves.
Often, victims of narcissists are the ones who become the enabler of narcissism. Although, in some cases, enablers can be a non-victim who can be mother, dad, sister, brother, partner, friends, relatives, or anyone. Are you doubting yourself to be a narcissistic enabler? Proceed further.
Why do people become enablers of narcissists?
One can become an enabler of a narcissist for various reasons including lack of self-worth, no boundaries, less empathy, wrong parenting, fear of disapproval. In most cases, such enablers are not aware of them being the source for narcissists. The narcissistic enablers play a vital role in a narcissist’s life to be more abusive with their victim.
Personalities that are great narcissistic enablers
Of course, victims of narcissists will typically have kind, empathetic, and loveable personalities. However, the key personalities that enable narcissism in narcissists are
- Believers of change
- flying monkeys
These personalities become narcissistic enablers, with or without intention to boost the narcissists. Let’s look at how these personalities enable narcissists.
Pleasers are the kind of people who are way too nice to others, especially when it comes to their loved ones. When pleasers are in a relationship with a narcissist, they idealize the narcissist as superior and ready to lose self-worth, boundaries, or anything you name. They are desperate to have a relationship or to save it; For that, they are ready to lose anything, even mental stability.
People with the pleasing mentality become a prominent source for a narcissist. The reason behind that is, they constantly validate, give attention, and serve wasteful appraisals to make the narcissists feel entitled. This enables the narcissists to reveal more traits to abuse their victims endlessly.
Do narcissistic enablers ever see the truth? Narcissistic enablers often know about the narcissistic traits and choose to ignore them. They do not want to give up a relationship that does not exist in the first place. Consequently, they are prepared to go through any abuse to conserve the relationship.
Believers of change
On the verge of losing the bond, relationship, or marriage, some people stick to the narcissists believing that they could change them. Narcissists cannot be changed without personal growth and talk therapy. But these people get enmeshed within the narcissistic abuse cycle trying to change the narcissist.
While fantasizing about changing the narcissists, these people give extravagant attention and support to the narcissists. They validate the narcissist’s actions and justify their actions. This enables narcissism in the narcissists to abuse more.
Pleasers or believers of change, are the kind of personalities that have the potential to stay longer in an abusive narcissistic relationship.
Gossipers are either toxic or ignorant. They do not consider the aftereffects of the gossip that could ruin anyone’s credibility. Narcissists use gossipers as a great tool to smear campaigns against the victim. In some cases, the gossipers themselves are narcissists and love to spread false rumors just to ruin someone’s image or get some attention.
Can a narcissist be an enabler too? Following the previous hypothesis, yes, narcissistic enablers can be a narcissist only when they are in bond with each other. For example, a narcissistic mother over validates her narcissistic kid and that enables narcissism. In a relationship, the partner with the less dominant narcissistic personality becomes an enabler of the narcissist.
For instance, covert narcissists portray themselves to be weak as a manipulative tactic and praise their partner for their ability to do things. So, when the other partner is also revealed to be a narcissist, but with malevolent traits; He/she tends to be more dominant than the covert narcissist. Thus, the covert narcissist becomes the narcissist enabler in the relationship.
Flying monkeys are the people who the narcissists sent against you to hoover again into the abuse. The flying monkeys are great supporters of narcissists and believe every word of narcissists to be true. Narcissists use the flying monkeys to validate their actions as well as hoover back the victim.
Flying monkeys blindly believe the narcissist’s manipulations as a great caretaker, leader, survivor and go against the victims to support the narcissists. Flying monkeys are the great narcissistic enablers who fill the needs of the narcissistic supply and help to enable the abusive cycle over the victim.
Almost every victim of the narcissists was a great empathizer and fell right into the narcissistic trap. Some wake up realizing the abuse and trauma, whereas, others choose to stick with the narcissistic abusive cycle. Thus, becoming the enabler of narcissism by empathizing with the narcissists and helping them emotionally.
The narcissists, when justifying the malicious actions with the childhood trauma, the empathizers accept the justification and continue to love them by lowering their self-worth. In such a way, empathizers become enablers by giving them the freedom to take advantage of them.
Followed by the manipulation, the narcissists gaslight the victims cause extreme self-doubt that led to thinking of themselves as the narcissist.
Give a Read: Am I the narcissist in a relationship?
Narcissistic enablers either can be innocent victims or toxic individuals who give the narcissists what they want regardless of visioning the abuse of victim aftermath. Can we explain the truth to the enablers of narcissists? The narcissistic enablers will possibly decide to ignore you when you try to explain, as they are strongly manipulated by the narcissists. The enablers of narcissists live in the fake world of narcissists and support them unconditionally.
If you are any one of them from the list above, there are chances for you to be a narcissistic enabler. So, try to maintain distance from the narcissists; Doing that might save you or the victim of the narcissist. If you are not the enabler, it is better to avoid people who are narcissistic enablers, like avoiding narcissists. Else, either intentionally or not, they can bring us damage through the narcissists.
Q1. Who can become a narcissistic enabler?
A1. Often, victims of narcissists are the ones who become the enabler of narcissism. Although, in some cases, enablers can be a non-victim who can be mother, dad, sister, brother, partner, friends, relatives, or anyone.
Q2. What do narcissistic enablers do?
A1. Narcissistic enablers are the one who enables or boosts the dark triad traits in the narcissists by providing a surplus amount of validation and attention that a narcissist needs. This narcissistic supply triggers narcissism in a person and becomes more noxious in time.
Q3. Can enablers see the truth of narcissists?
A1. Narcissistic enablers often know about the narcissistic traits and choose to ignore them. They do not want to give up a relationship that does not exist in the first place. Consequently, they are prepared to go through any abuse to conserve the relationship.
Q4. How do empathizers become narcissistic enablers?
A1. The narcissists, when justifying the malicious actions with the childhood trauma, the empathizers accept the justification and continue to love them by lowering their self-worth. In such a way, empathizers become enablers by giving them the freedom to continue the abusive cycle.