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May 13, 2025

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How is Dating Someone Who Was Abused by a Narcissist?

Dante012 mins

Congratulations! You’re dating someone who was abused by a narcissist, a narc survivor. That means their past love story was less of a fairy tale and more of a psychological thriller where the villain gaslighted, manipulated, and drained every ounce of self-worth from them. Now, here you are, trying to be the wonderful person who loves them right. But dating someone who was abused by a narcissist is not like your average relationship. It’s a whole different playing field.  You’re going to encounter emotional triggers, trust issues, and moments where they act like you just stabbed them in the heart—when all you did was forget to text back. Sounds overwhelming? Well, keep reading because this isn’t about giving you a pep talk on how to ‘fix’ them (you can’t). This is about understanding the reality of loving someone who has been through emotional warfare.   Understanding the Aftermath of Narcissistic Abuse Dating someone who was abused by a narcissist is like loving a wounded warrior—challenging, but patience and understanding can make all the difference. 1. What Narcissistic Abuse Does to a Person Before you start feeling frustrated by their reactions, let’s talk about what they’ve been through.  A narcissistic partner doesn’t just break someone’s heart; they dismantle their sense of self. The abuse isn’t just physical or verbal—it’s psychological, designed to make the victim question their own reality. Gaslighting: Their ex made them feel like they were ‘crazy’ for reacting to manipulation and lies. Control and Isolation: They may have been cut off from friends and family. Rollercoaster of Love and Neglect: One day they were the most adored person on earth, the next they were treated like garbage. Shattered Self-Worth: They were led to believe they were never good enough. According to research, survivors of narcissistic abuse often experience symptoms similar to PTSD from narcissism, including hypervigilance, extreme anxiety, and difficulty trusting others. So, when they react strongly to something seemingly minor, it’s not about you—it’s about their trauma.   Challenges in dating someone who was abused by a narcissist 1. The Constant Apologizing and Self-Doubt You’ll notice they say “sorry” a lot—like, for things they didn’t even do. They’re used to apologizing for existing. Their ex conditioned them to believe they were always in the wrong, so now they struggle to believe they’re worthy of love.   2. Trust Issues That Aren’t About You They might assume you have hidden motives, not because you’ve given them a reason, but because their last relationship was built on deceit. It’s like touching a hot stove once—you don’t easily forget the burn. Even when you prove your honesty, they may still feel uneasy because trust isn’t just given—it’s rebuilt.   3. Overanalyzing Everything You Say and Do You casually mention an ex? They spiral into a mental battle, wondering if they’re being compared. You get quiet for a bit? They’re sure you’re mad at them. They were trained to analyze their partner’s every mood shift because that’s how they survived with a narcissist.   4. They Might Push You Away Just to Feel in Control This part stings. Sometimes they’ll test you by pulling away emotionally or shutting down, expecting you to leave. Why? Because their ex conditioned them to expect abandonment. It’s not a reflection of how they feel about you—it’s a defense mechanism.   5. Sensitivity to Normal Relationship Conflicts Arguments in any relationship are normal, but for them, it might feel catastrophic. A small disagreement may trigger past trauma, making them retreat, over-apologize, or assume the worst. It’s important to recognize when their reaction is coming from past wounds rather than the present situation.   6. Strict Boundaries That May Feel Rigid Some survivors have healed but set strict, sometimes extreme boundaries to protect themselves. While boundaries are essential, they can sometimes make a relationship feel emotionally distant or rigid. Understanding their need for control over their emotional space is key, but so is ensuring a balance that works for both of you.   7. Potential Narcissistic Traits of Their Own Surprisingly, some survivors may adopt narcissistic tendencies as a learned defense mechanism. They might display manipulative behaviors, have difficulty accepting criticism, or struggle with emotional regulation. While this doesn’t mean they’re narcissists, it does mean that their trauma has shaped certain responses that can be challenging in a healthy relationship. Read: Cheating Patterns of Covert Narcissists   How to Date a Narcissist Survivor Without Losing Your Mind 1. Validate, Don’t Fix They don’t need a hero, just someone who acknowledges their pain without trying to erase it. Saying, “That sounds really painful, I’m so sorry you went through that,” is far more comforting than, “You need to move on.” 2. Be Patient with Their Healing Process Their healing isn’t linear. Some days they’ll be fine, and others they’ll feel like they’re back at square one. It’s frustrating, but healing from narcissistic abuse is like recovering from an invisible wound. Give them time. 3. Boundaries Are Key—For Both of You They might struggle with setting boundaries because they weren’t allowed to have them before. Encourage them to express their needs, but also maintain your own. Just because they’ve been through trauma doesn’t mean they can treat you poorly either. Healthy relationships require mutual respect. 4. Small Reassurances Go a Long Way A simple “I appreciate you,” or “You don’t have to be perfect for me to love you,” can be life-changing for someone who was always told they weren’t enough. 5. They’ll Need Time to Fully Open Up They might not tell you everything right away. Trauma makes people guarded. Instead of pushing, create a safe space where they can share at their own pace.   Is It Worth Dating a Narcissist Survivor? Yes. But only if you’re willing to accept that this relationship will require extra care and patience. You’re not just dating a person—you’re dating their past, their fears, and their efforts to rebuild their trust in love. Are All Narcissists Cheaters? – Give a…

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Are Cheaters Narcissists?

Dante011 mins

Infidelity is one of the most painful betrayals in a relationship. It shakes trust, rewires emotions, and often leaves people wondering: Why did they do it? And, more specifically: Are cheaters narcissists always? The idea makes sense—cheating feels like an inherently selfish act, and who do we associate with extreme selfishness? Narcissists. While it may be a reasonable thought, how far is it true?   Are Cheaters Always Narcissists? Are cheaters narcissists? Not always, but narcissists are more likely to cheat due to their need for the narcissistic supply than any other motivation. As per the experts, cheating itself doesn’t necessarily make someone a narcissist.  Multiple studies have examined the link between narcissistic traits and infidelity. Research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that individuals with high levels of narcissism are significantly more likely to engage in unfaithful behaviors, often due to their heightened need for admiration and validation from multiple sources. However, the same studies also highlight that not all cheaters display narcissistic traits, reinforcing that infidelity arises from various psychological and situational factors, not just narcissism. Why is it so?   1. Narcissists and Cheating Narcissists thrive on admiration, validation, and control. Their relationships are often transactional—they seek partners who make them feel special, and when that validation fades, they look elsewhere. Cheating, for a narcissist, isn’t just about physical intimacy; it’s about feeding their ego. Their mindset? “I deserve better.” Or “Rules don’t apply to me.” Or the classic “If they’re not giving me what I want, I’ll find it elsewhere.” This is where narcissists and infidelity intertwine: they struggle with genuine emotional intimacy, lack empathy for their partner’s pain, and believe their needs matter more than anyone else’s.   2. Cheating Motivations: Not Always Narcissistic While narcissists cheat for ego-driven reasons, not all cheaters operate this way. There are many reasons people stray, and not all of them stem from narcissism. Some common motivations include: Emotional dissatisfaction Opportunity and impulse Low self-esteem Revenge cheating The key difference? A narcissist cheats because they believe they deserve more, whereas others might cheat due to emotional voids, impulsivity, or unresolved conflicts.   Do Narcissists Always Cheat? Now, let’s flip the question. If narcissists are prone to cheating, does that mean every narcissist is a cheater? The answer is not necessarily. While narcissists are more likely to cheat, not all of them do.   Why Don’t All Narcissists Cheat? While narcissists are more prone to infidelity, not all of them cheat physically. Some choose to stay in monogamous relationships—but not always for noble reasons. Reputation Protection – Many narcissists are deeply concerned about their public image. If they believe cheating could tarnish their status or lead to social consequences, they might avoid it—not out of loyalty, but self-preservation. Fear of Losing Control – Narcissists crave control in relationships. If they believe cheating could cause their partner to leave, they might refrain from it to maintain dominance over the relationship dynamic. Strategic Monogamy – Some narcissists view their partner as a valuable resource—whether for financial stability, status, or convenience. In such cases, they might remain faithful to avoid losing their primary source of benefits. Lack of Opportunity – While some narcissists actively seek affairs, others may simply not have the chance to cheat, especially if their lifestyle or social circle doesn’t easily allow for it.   All Narcissists Cheat in Some Other Way Even when a narcissist doesn’t engage in physical infidelity, betrayal often manifests in other destructive ways. Their need for power, validation, and control leads to alternative forms of deceit and emotional harm. Emotional Affairs – Many narcissists seek emotional validation outside their relationship, forming intense, secretive connections, triangulation that undermine their partner’s trust. False Hopes and Promises – Narcissists often manipulate partners by making grand promises they never intend to keep, keeping their significant other emotionally invested while avoiding true commitment. Financial Infidelity – Some narcissists engage in secret spending, financial control, or hidden assets to maintain power over their partner. Lying and Deception – Chronic dishonesty—about past relationships, finances, or even daily interactions—is a common form of narcissistic betrayal. Gaslighting and Emotional Manipulation – While not always seen as “cheating,” engaging in the trust breaking activities like gaslighting and other psychological manipulations can erode trust just as much as physical infidelity. Read: Covert Narcissists – Who are they? The Narcissistic Cheat Code: Lack of Empathy So what ultimately sets narcissistic cheaters apart? A fundamental lack of empathy. Most people who cheat experience guilt, shame, or remorse. Even if they rationalize it in the moment, they eventually recognize the pain they’ve caused. Narcissists, however, operate differently. Instead of remorse, they may feel: Annoyance – “Why are you making this such a big deal?” Entitlement – “I did what I had to do.” Blame-shifting – “If you were better, I wouldn’t have done this.” This is why narcissistic cheating often feels colder—it lacks genuine emotional accountability. The betrayal isn’t just about the act itself; it’s about the complete disregard for the partner’s feelings. Know: 35 Redflags of Narcissists The Pattern of Justification Here’s where narcissists stand out: their justifications. If you’ve ever confronted a narcissistic cheater, you might have heard: “It wouldn’t have happened if you gave me more attention.” “I had to cheat because you were too controlling.” “You’re overreacting. It’s not a big deal.” This mindset is distinctly narcissistic—there’s a lack of accountability, an inability to feel true remorse, and a tendency to shift blame. On the other hand, non-narcissistic cheaters (yes, they exist) are more likely to experience guilt, attempt to repair the damage, and acknowledge their wrongdoing.   Final Say If you’ve been cheated on by a narcissist, I want to acknowledge something important: it’s not your fault.  While not all cheaters are narcissists, and not all narcissists cheat, the connection between the two is clear. But here’s the takeaway: understanding narcissism isn’t about excusing bad behavior.  If you’re navigating the aftermath of cheating—especially by a narcissist—know that your emotions are…

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Can You Get PTSD From Narcissistic Abuse?

Dante09 mins

If you’ve ever been in a relationship with a narcissist, you know it’s like being trapped in a funhouse mirror maze—except there’s nothing fun about it. Narcissistic abuse is a unique form of emotional and psychological torment that can leave deep, invisible scars. But can you get something serious like PTSD or its complex form, known as C-PTSD (Complex PTSD)? Let’s see if you can get PTSD From Narcissistic Abuse   What Is Narcissistic Abuse, and Why Does It Hurt So Much? Narcissistic abuse is a systematic pattern of manipulation, gaslighting, belittlement, and control inflicted by someone with narcissistic traits or Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Unlike physical abuse, which leaves visible marks, narcissistic abuse is insidious. It chips away at your self-esteem, distorts your reality, and leaves you feeling like a shell of your former self. Over time, this emotional rollercoaster can take a severe toll on your mental health. But can it really cause PTSD?   Would You Get PTSD From Narcissistic Abuse? Yes, you can get PTSD from Narcissistic abuse as it is a form of psychological trauma that can lead to anxiety, depression, and mental health challenges. Research has shown that emotional abuse, including narcissistic abuse, can lead to symptoms of PTSD. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a mental health condition triggered by experiencing or witnessing a traumatic event. PTSD is typically associated with life-threatening events like war, natural disasters, or violent assaults.  However, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) now recognizes that PTSD or C-PTSD can also result from prolonged exposure to emotional abuse, especially in situations where the victim feels trapped or powerless. Narcissistic abuse from your relationship, friendship, colleagues or from your dysfunctional family fits this description perfectly, isn’t it? A study published in the Journal of Traumatic Stress found that individuals who experienced emotional abuse were just as likely to develop PTSD as those who experienced physical or sexual abuse. This is because the brain doesn’t differentiate between physical and emotional trauma—it processes both as threats to survival.   How Narcissistic Abuse Rewires Your Brain to Have PTSD? Narcissistic abuse doesn’t just hurt your feelings—it can literally rewire your brain. When you’re subjected to chronic stress and emotional manipulation, your brain’s fight-or-flight response goes into overdrive. Think of it like this: your brain is a computer, and the narcissist is a virus. They infiltrate your system, corrupt your files, and leave you struggling to reboot. In that case, you are more likely to get Complex PTSD (C-PTSD). C-PTSD develops from prolonged, repeated trauma, such as childhood abuse, domestic violence, or narcissistic abuse in long-term relationships. Symptoms Unique to C-PTSD: Distorted Self-Perception – Feeling fundamentally flawed or unworthy of love. Emotional Dysregulation – Sudden mood swings, difficulty managing anger or sadness. Chronic Fear of Abandonment – Even after escaping the narcissist, victims struggle with deep-seated insecurity. Dissociation – Feeling disconnected from reality or like an observer in one’s own life. Read: Traits that attracts Narcissists Wake up Call Before getting to the healing part, here’s something for you to read and laugh at. This might sound funny but is a wake-up call for you to heal! Where they twist reality so much, you start questioning if the sky is actually blue. Showering you with affection until you’re hooked, only to pull the rug out from under you. Where everything is your fault, even their decision to wear mismatched socks. Because nothing says “mature adult” like giving someone the cold shoulder for days on end.   What is the Best Way to Heal from Narcissistic PTSD? Seek Professional Help Of Course! However, before that you might need to do these two things Acknowledge the Abuse: The first step is recognizing that what you went through was not your fault. Narcissists are master manipulators, and it’s easy to blame yourself for their behavior. But you are not the problem—they are. Accept that, Narcissists don’t change: Duly accept that the narcissist will never change eventually or take accountability for the abuse caused. Stop expecting them to feel guilt for the abuse or maybe even consider giving a fresh start for the relationship that you never had.  Know: Am I a Narcissist? Upon Seeking a professional help, the therapist can help you process your trauma, rebuild your self-esteem, and develop healthier coping mechanisms. Then your healing process might include having the following, Set Boundaries: Narcissists thrive on crossing boundaries. Learning to set and enforce boundaries is crucial for protecting your mental health. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. Healing is a process, and it’s okay to take it one day at a time. Connect With Others: Surround yourself with supportive friends and family who uplift and validate you. You don’t have to go through this alone.   A Message to Survivors If you’re reading this and thinking, “Can I ever recover from this?” the answer is a resounding yes. You are not broken, and you are not alone. Narcissistic abuse can leave deep wounds, but those wounds can heal. It takes time, patience, and a lot of self-love, but you have the strength to rebuild your life. If you’re struggling, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. You deserve to live a life free from fear, manipulation, and emotional pain. And remember, the best revenge against a narcissist is a life well-lived. So, go out there and shine—you’ve got this.

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What happens on Ignoring a Narcissist?

Dante019 mins

Narcissists generally don’t like being ignored, as it stifles their desire for constant validation and control.They might react with anger, or attempt to gain their attention or pursue revenge. It is therefore crucial to handle these situations with caution and a sense of support There’s nothing that the person who is a narcissist would rather than be ignored. If you do not take care of a narcissist you run the risk of a likelihood that they become angry. Now, the question is “What occurs when you do not pay attention to an Narcissist? And how is it going affect your life?”. We will go through this article to find out more about this. What is the impact on you?   What does Ignoring mean to a Narcissist? Narcissists thrive on a continuous flow of admiration and attention from other people, commonly described as their “narcissistic supply.’ This is vital to maintain their self-esteem and conceal their deep-seated fears. Each compliment, each acknowledgment and every affirmation boosts their self-image. If this attention is cut off, narcissists experience a deep loss, similar to physical loss. The loss of attention could trigger a variety of responses that originate in their need to replenish their narcissistic quota. This is akin to stopping the endless fake drama. The act of ignoring a narcissist could cause intense reactions, such as anger, manipulation and self-destruction if their need for attention is not fulfilled. On the contrary, You should also know Why Narcissists Ignore you? Is Ignoring the right way to get away from the narcissist? A narcissist might be able to sabotage others’ feelings and their self-worth. So, ignoring the narcissist as a sense of revenge could cause you to be just as selfish as the people around you and bring more troubles from the narcissist. Follow the no-contact rule, and then walk away from them. Neglecting a narcissist is an effective way of getting away from their manipulation and lessening their influence upon your personal life. This is known as”the “gray rock” method. By minimizing emotional responses and keeping a neutral, non-interesting appearance, you decrease the narcissist’s desire to interact with you. You should Read: Best Things That Happens After Leaving the Narcissist How Narcissists will React being Ignored? Narcissists usually react negatively to being ignored since it challenges their self-esteem and their constant need for admiration and attention from you. They can become angry, irritable or even rageful and they might try to get your attention by different methods, including guilt-tripping or pleading, or making threats. In some instances, they might even shout at you physically or verbally. When you ignore a narcissist, The narcissist doesn’t want to let you move on, so, he/she might assume that you have figured out them for who they are. Hence you can expect the reaction to be exactly similar when you know about narcissist and their narcissistic tendencies. Let’s see what are the best chances of how narcissists will react to being ignored.    1. Ghosting you Back Narcissists are like if the first method doesn’t work but the second one does, then the first will work. Ghosting is a method of treatment that is a devious tactic to assert control and create emotional stress. By not addressing them, they cause feelings of confusion and self-doubt, causing you to think you are the culprit. However, their behavior of ghosting is a sign of their ability to deal with rejection and is a desperate effort to preserve their status.   2. Stalk Forever The act of ignoring a narcissist may appear to be a way of putting a stop to the destructive narcissistic bond however, in their eyes, this is the beginning of an ominous obsession. Once you’ve cut off their control and attention then they’ll begin to stalk you as their first step. Stalking can be used as a way to assert their authority over you and control your feelings. They’ll inform you that they’re stalking you, which implies that they’re the victim of your behavior. This can trigger guilt and pull you back to the abusive bond once more by removing them.   3. Contact your loved ones Narcissists can’t resist looking at you and observing your actions. By ignoring them, they are not receiving enough narc supply. Moving on isn’t in their vocabulary. Therefore, they attempt to contact your closest relatives and friends. They gain access, such as gaining sympathies, spreading false stories and even creating a rift in between yourself and family members. Therefore, surround yourself with a community that understands and respects your boundaries, which will allow your body to recover and gain control over your life.   4. Send Flying Monkeys and enablers If their efforts to distract you and draw your attention fail then they will send other people named “Flying monkeys” and ” Narcissist Enablers“. These are people whom the narcissist has enlisted to perform their own bidding and to attack you on their behalf. When they realize that their control over you is declining due to blockage and they are able to deploy the flying monkeys to intimidate you, guilt-trip or press you to take back the drugs from you. They could be relatives, friends or acquaintances who are who are misled by the narcissist’s delusional story of the events. The flying monkeys could also be innocent, however, it is better to avoid anyone who tries to convince you to return to the person who is a narcissist. Also read, Reaction of Narcissists when blocked 5. Apologize for sake If there’s no way to reach, they understand that an apology will bring you back under control. But, the apology is typically untrue and does not show genuine regret. Their main goal is not to be accountable for their actions, but rather to manipulate them and gain power over their victims. Insincere apology statements are a part of their elaborate strategy to lure you back to their web of manipulation. They may play up their charm and appear modest, making…

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11 Dysfunctional Things in a Narcissistic Family

Dante016 mins

Picture a family where one or more member dominates and controls everyone else, using emotional abuse, manipulation, and gaslighting tactics to maintain power and control. This is the reality for many individuals raised in a dysfunctional narcissistic family. Just think about how a child grows under such circumstances.  Children of narcissistic parents may be subjected to emotional abuse, neglect, or even physical abuse. They may also be held to unrealistic standards or made to feel responsible for the emotional well-being of their parent. In this article, we will explore some of the key facts about narcissistic families.   Why Narcissistic Families are toxic? Narcissistic families tend to be toxic because they are built around the narcissist’s need for control, validation, and admiration. This results in a family dynamic dysfunctional and may engage in a variety of abusive or neglectful behaviors, while other family members may become enablers or codependents, perpetuating the toxic cycle.  This can lead to long-lasting emotional scars and a sense of isolation and powerlessness for those trapped in the narcissistic family system.   Before getting into the article, we want you to know this platform is created with the motive that you can vent out your emotions through the comment section of the articles you relate to. You can either comment and respond to the people you relate to and also register with Udante if you want to have a private and friendly conversation with us for free.   Dysfunctionalities in a Narcissistic Family Dysfunctionalities in a narcissistic family can include emotional abuse, manipulation, and a lack of healthy boundaries affecting the family members. The resulting family environment is often marked by a lack of trust, emotional instability, and a sense of isolation and powerlessness for those trapped in the system.  The dysfunction in narcissistic families can have a profound impact on the well-being of everyone involved, perpetuating cycles of trauma and abuse across generations. The followings are some of the common and too impacting dysfunctionalities in a narcissistic family.   Lack of emotional bonding Narcissistic families are characterized by a lack of emotional bonding, empathy, and genuine concern for one another. Members of these families often feel isolated and alone. Furthermore, narcissistic parents may treat their children as extensions of themselves rather than as individuals with their own thoughts, feelings, and desires. This leaves children feeling unseen, unheard, and unimportant, leading to issues with self-worth and self-esteem. Overall, a lack of emotional bonding in narcissistic families leads to long-term impacts on children’s mental health and well-being, and it affects their ability to form healthy relationships in the future.   Focus on maintaining the family image The primary focus in narcissistic families is on Maintaining the family image. It is important for narcissists to increase their own sense of self-worth, protect themselves from shame and criticism, and control how others perceive them and their families. Some of their actions on their families are Have a burning desire for admiration and validation from others. They may receive the admiration and validation they strive for by projecting a positive image of their family to the outside world Often the fear of being seen as flawed or imperfect triggers feelings of shame and insecurity. By presenting a perfect image of their family, they avoid feeling shame or embarrassment. By maintaining the family image, they have strong control over how others perceive them and their family, as well as ensure that family members behave in ways that reflect well on the family. Make members of the family present a facade of perfection to the outside world, even if things are far from perfect at home.                                                                                                 Children are seen as extensions of the parent Children in narcissistic families are usually understood as extensions of their parents. Narcissistic parents see their children as a means of validating their own self-worth and meeting their own needs for attention, admiration, or control. They expect their children to excel in areas that they value or their unfulfilled dreams and aspirations. This leads to a child choosing to believe that they are only valued for what they can do or achieve, rather than for who they are as individuals. They may feel pressured to meet their parents’ expectations, regardless of their own interests, needs, or desires. As a result, children in narcissistic families may struggle with developing a healthy sense of self and may experience feelings of shame, guilt, or unworthiness.   Children are objectified In narcissistic families, children are often objectified by their parents or other family members. Objectification is when a person is treated as an object or a thing, rather than as an individual with feelings, needs, and desires.  The child’s own desires, feelings, and needs may be ignored or dismissed. This incredibly damages a child’s emotional and psychological well-being. In some cases, narcissistic parents may sexualize or treat their children inappropriately. Making sexual comments or jokes, exposing their children to sexual content, or even engaging in sexual behavior with their children are all examples of this. For a child, this type of objectification can be extremely damaging and traumatic which can even lead to PTSD due to narcissists.   Emotional manipulation, gaslighting, and guilt Narcissistic family members may use emotional manipulation tactics such as guilt-tripping, shaming, or threatening to control and manipulate the emotions and behaviors of their family members, leaving the victims feeling powerless and confused. The narcissists may use gaslighting to actively distort or deny reality to make their family members doubt their own perceptions and experiences, which can lead to the victim feeling confused, anxious, and doubting their own sanity. Narcissistic individuals may use guilt to manipulate and control their family members, making them feel responsible for the narcissist’s emotions or actions, leading to constant feelings of burden and responsibility, even when the victim has done nothing wrong.   Punishment for expressing opinions, emotions, or desires It is not uncommon for family members to be punished or face negative consequences for expressing their opinions, emotions, or desires.  Using tactics such…

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How do Two Narcissists Live in a Relationship?

Dante010 mins

A Narcissistic couple may look like having a joyous and romantic life together, but you may not know the dark truth that happens. Let’s look at what happens when two narcissists date and how two narcissists live in a relationship.    A narcissist is a person with a personality disorder characterized by excessive self-love and self-obsession. In relationships, narcissistic individuals may initially seem charming and attentive, but their true colors soon surface as they prioritize their own needs above their partner’s and have a lack of empathy for others. They may use love as a tool to manipulate and control their partner, leading to unhealthy and unequal dynamics in the relationship.   Before getting into the article, we want you to know this platform is a community for Narcissists survivors where you can vent out your emotions through the comment section of our articles you relate to. You can either comment and respond to the people you relate to and also register with Udante if you want to have a private and friendly conversation with us for free.    Can Two narcissist Fall in Love? Yes, it is possible for two narcissists to form a relationship. However, their relationship is likely to be tumultuous and marked by manipulation, control, and a constant struggle for power. As both partners prioritize themselves above the relationship, there may be a lack of intimacy, emotional depth, and mutual support. These factors can contribute to the relationship’s instability and ultimately lead to its demise.   How do narcissists fall in love with each other? Two narcissists may love each other because they see themselves reflected in each other and feel validated by the relationship. They may also find each other to be a source of supply, fulfilling their need for admiration and attention. Narcissists may be attracted to other narcissists because they see a reflection of themselves in the other person and feel validated by the relationship. They may also find each other to be a source of supply, fulfilling their need for admiration and attention. Additionally, both partners may enjoy the power dynamic in the relationship, with each trying to control the other. The relationship may become a competition for who is the superior one, with both partners seeking to assert their dominance.   Relationship Between Two Narcissists When two narcissists date and become a narcissistic couple, it can turn into a tumultuous and volatile experience for both parties and eventually collapse. When two narcissists fall in love, they may initially feel it to be a thrilling and intense experience.  They may idealize each other and see the relationship as a perfect match. However, as the relationship progresses, the power struggles between the two individuals become increasingly evident. Despite the harm it causes to both partners, they may struggle to leave the relationship too. So, this will increase the duration of this narcissistic relationship prolonging.    What happens when two narcissists date? When two narcissists fall in love, they may initially react in the following ways: Idealization: They may idealize each other and see the relationship as a perfect match, with both individuals sharing a grandiose sense of self-importance. Mutual Mirroring: They may engage in mutual mirroring, where they both reflect and amplify each other’s positive traits, leading to a heightened sense of validation and self-esteem. Intense Attraction: The combination of idealization and mutual mirroring may result in an intense attraction between the two narcissists. Power Struggles: As the relationship progresses, the power struggles between the two individuals may become increasingly evident. Each partner may try to assert their dominance and control over the other. Manipulation: In an effort to maintain control, they may engage in manipulation, trying to control their partner’s emotions and thoughts. Emotional Abuse: The toxic dynamics of their mutual Narcissistic Personality Disorder can result in emotional abuse, with each partner trying to undermine the other’s sense of self-worth. Difficulty Leaving: Due to their strong need for validation and control, they may struggle to leave the relationship, despite the harm it causes to both partners. We can classify this whole period of the Relationship between two narcissists into two different phases namely Sweet Phase and the Toxic Phase.    Sweet Phase of a Narcissistic Couple The initial phase of a relationship between two narcissists can be described as Sweet Phase and it is intense and exhilarating. Both individuals may feel a strong attraction to each other due to their mutual self-absorption and grandiose sense of self-importance.  Since they share mutual personality traits, they may feel like they are made for each other, however, this excitement is often short-lived. As the relationship progresses, the toxic dynamics of their mutual Narcissistic Personality Disorder can become increasingly evident, leading to the collapse of the relationship.   Toxic Phase of a Narcissistic Couple The toxic phase of a relationship between two narcissists is characterized by power struggles, manipulation, and emotional abuse. As the initial excitement of idealization and mirroring fades, the relationship becomes increasingly hostile, with each partner trying to assert their dominance and control over the other.  The relationship becomes an endless cycle of emotional abuse, with each partner trying to undermine the other’s sense of self-worth and control their behavior. Ultimately, this toxic dynamic can lead to the end of the relationship, causing significant emotional damage to both individuals. During this Toxic phase, there occurs more drama, aggression, fights, manipulations, and so on. We can witness a whole Narcissist vs Narcissist battle.   Read to know about Fights between different types of narcissists   Ending with a Note It’s important to note that individuals with narcissistic traits can experience significant personal growth and improvement with proper therapy and self-reflection. However, without effort to change, a relationship between two narcissists is likely to be unstable and may eventually end in disappointment and heartbreak.  Also, narcissists possess no will to change and are renowned for lacking self-growth. So, try to avoid getting included between a narcissistic couple as it can be exhausting and abusive as…

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How do narcissists react when they know you know

How Narcissists Reacts When they know you know about them?

Dante019 mins

Narcissists are experts at hiding their true faces and unveiling that face to the public might be the worst nightmare they could possibly expect. But, when the narcissist knows you know about them, these 11 reactions listed in this article may burst out of them.    Narcissists are often secretive in nature, as they seek to maintain control over the perception of themselves and their actions. They keep their true selves hidden and only reveal certain aspects of themselves to others. Narcissists also have a tendency to hide their true feelings and intentions, in order to manipulate and control others. Why narcissists are secretive? People with narcissistic traits often tend to have affairs, relationships or financial dealings that they keep hidden from others. To avoid getting caught, narcissists keep things secret. They are most prone to lying and deceit, in order to maintain control over the situation and to prevent being exposed.  Narcissists want to present a certain image of themselves to the world, and they fear that if their true selves were exposed, they would lose power and control over others. In order to protect the image of perfection that is created by them, they lie and deceive everyone around them.   How do Narcissists react when they know you know?  Narcissists are known for their inflated sense of self-importance and their tendency to exploit others for their own gain. When a narcissist knows that you know about their behavior, they may react in a number of ways to avoid their self-esteem getting destroyed. Here are 11 potential reactions that a narcissist may have when they know that you know about their behavior:   1. Refusal and Denial Narcissists have an inflated sense of self-importance, and they may not be able to accept the idea that they have done something wrong.  They may deny that their behavior is problematic, and try to convince you that you are mistaken or overreacting. This reaction is an attempt to avoid accountability and to maintain their image of perfection. For example, your narcissistic partner may simply deny any of your confronts telling you that you are overreacting when you bring up incidents of them yelling or throwing things.   2. Blame-shifting and Making Reasons Narcissists often try to avoid taking responsibility for their actions. It is easy for them to shift the blame for their behavior onto you, accusing you of causing their actions or of being too sensitive.  They may also blame external circumstances, such as work stress or financial problems, for their behavior. This reaction is an attempt to avoid accountability and maintain control over the situation. For example, If your partner cheats, they blame you for their actions, saying that you were not paying enough attention to them and that’s why they sought affection elsewhere.   3. Gaslighting  Narcissists may use manipulation tactics to control and exploit others. One such tactic is gaslighting, where they try to make you question your own perceptions and memories. If you were not strong in their confronts, you may fall right into the gaslights and believe their claims to be true. Denying any events that took place is an act to convince you that you imagined them, in an attempt to make you doubt yourself and your understanding of the situation. Making you Doubt yourself is one of the worst effects of gaslighting that victims always suffer. This reaction is an attempt to maintain control over the relationship and to make it harder for you to hold them accountable for their actions. For example, When you bring up instances of them demeaning or insulting you in front of others, a narcissist may tell you that you’re imagining things.   4. Withdrawal or Silent treatments Since narcissists are not ready to face you as you know about them now, they try to withdraw from the relationship, either physically or emotionally, in an attempt to avoid accountability for their behavior.  They may stop communicating with you or refuse to engage in discussions about the issue. This reaction is an attempt to avoid accountability and maintain control over the relationship. For example, Your partner may stop talking to you and refuse to engage in any conversations when you confront them about their behavior, in an attempt to avoid accountability.   5. Aggression Narcissists may become angry and aggressive when their behavior is called into question. Aggression is mostly found in narcissists who are malignant and other types of narcissists show comparatively low aggression. Lashing out at you in an attempt to intimidate or control you, using verbal abuse, threats, or even physical violence are the parts of aggression they express when they know you know about the narcissists.  This reaction is an attempt to assert dominance and maintain control over the relationship.  For example, A narcissist with whom you have any relationship will become angry and aggressive when you confront them about their lies and may raise their voice or use threatening language to try to intimidate you into dropping the subject. It will turn into verbal abuse, bringing out the past and any irrelevant scenarios to make your point invalid.    6. Projection When the narcissist came to know you know about them, he/she may accuse you of the exact behaviors that they are guilty of in order to divert attention away from their own acts. They may accuse you of being selfish, controlling, or manipulative in order to divert attention away from their own conduct. This reaction is an attempt to avoid accountability and retain control over the relationship. For example, if your partner cheats and you confront them, the narcissistic partner will try to accuse you of cheating with someone else out of the blue to divert or validate their behavior.   7. Triangulation Narcissistic Triangulation is an act of bringing a third person into a relationship to cause confusion, abuse, and control the victim. Narcissists may try to create division between you and others in your life, by spreading rumors or lies…

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Top cheating patterns of a covert narcissists

Cheating Patterns of the Covert Narcissists

Dante011 mins

Narcissists always follow certain patterns in their abusive behavior. They follow a unique pattern to cheat their partners. Cheating gets tougher to find and hard to get over when it is a covert narcissist especially.   Covert narcissists often appear to be humble, shy, or even self-effacing, but underneath this facade lies a deep-seated need for admiration, validation, and control.   Love and Covert Narcissist A covert narcissist is a type of narcissist who is less obvious in their narcissism than an overt or “classic” narcissist. They may appear shy, humble, or even self-effacing, but underneath they have the same sense of entitlement and lack of empathy as an overt narcissist. They may also use manipulation, control, and passive-aggressive behavior to get their way. Covert narcissists may have a difficult time with love, as they tend to be emotionally unavailable and can’t empathize with others. They may also be prone to idealizing and then devaluing their partners. They may also use love as a tool for manipulation, rather than genuinely caring for the other person.   Why do covert narcissists cheat their partners? Covert narcissists may cheat because they have a strong need for attention and validation from different persons. They may seek out new partners to feed their ego, or to gain a sense of power over others. Narcissists lack empathy, and may not see the harm that their actions cause to others. They have a great sense of self-esteem and believe that they have the right to cheat and that their needs are more important than their partner’s emotions. If you are dating a person who possesses the traits of a covert narcissist, here are some cheating patterns they might do for you.   The cheating Patterns of a Covert Narcissist Covert narcissists are known for being highly secretive and often hide their infidelities. They may cheat in a variety of ways, and some of the most common cheating patterns of a covert narcissist that include:   1. Emotional affairs A person who is covertly narcissistic may form deep emotional connections with people outside of their primary relationship. This can happen through social media or online platforms, where they may feel anonymous and free to express themselves without judgment.    They may also seek out people who they believe will be a better match for them than their current partner. These emotional affairs can be just as damaging as physical affairs, as they can drain emotional energy and create distance in the primary relationship. For example,  Your partner may have a close friendship with a colleague at work. They may confide in each other about their problems and feelings, and may even flirt with each other. They may feel that this colleague understands them better than you and may start to develop feelings for them. Your partner may not physically cheat on you, but the emotional connection they have with this colleague is a form of infidelity.   2. Manipulation  The act of manipulating others is a primary tactic of a narcissist. In terms of Covert narcissists, they may manipulate their partner into believing that they are faithful, while secretly engaging in infidelity. They may use manipulation tactics such as lying, withholding information, and playing the victim to cover their tracks.  Narcissists also tend to be very good at playing the victim. They may manipulate situations and make their partner feel guilty for questioning their loyalty, in order to keep them from suspecting anything. For example,  Your partner may cheat on you but then manipulate you into thinking that they were not at fault. For example, they may blame you for not paying enough attention to them or for being too controlling, which led them to cheat. They may also convince you that they were drunk, depressed or that it was a one-time mistake.   3. Gaslighting Covert narcissists may use gaslighting tactics to blame their partner for their own infidelity or to make them question their own reality. They may deny any wrongdoing, even when presented with evidence to the contrary, and may make their partner feel like they are crazy for suspecting anything. This can lead to the partner feeling unsupported and isolated, which can make it difficult to leave the relationship. For example, Your partner may cheat on you and then convince you that you are overreacting or imagining things. They may also make you question your own memory, for example, by saying that you misremember the events or that you misunderstood their intentions.   4. Compartmentalization Covert narcissists may keep their relationships and affairs separate and compartmentalized so that their partner does not suspect anything. They may be very discreet in their activities and may have different phone numbers or email addresses for different people. They may also keep their affairs hidden from family and friends, which can make it difficult for the partner to discover the infidelity. For example, Your partner may cheat on you by keeping their relationships and affairs separate and compartmentalized. They may have a separate phone number or email address for their lover, and may only see them at certain times or places. He/She may also keep their affairs hidden from family and friends, which can make it difficult for you to discover the cheating behavior.   5. Denial Covert narcissists may deny any wrongdoing or infidelity, even when presented with evidence to the contrary. They may use manipulation tactics such as lying, withholding information, and playing the victim to cover their tracks. They may also make their partner feel guilty for questioning their fidelity, in order to keep them from suspecting anything. For example, Your partner may cheat on you and then deny any wrongdoing when confronted. They may use manipulation tactics such as lying, withholding information, and playing the victim to cover their tracks. They may even accuse you of being paranoid or not trusting them. They may also refuse to acknowledge any evidence that you may have that proves to cheat.    A Final Suggestion…

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Answers to Why does my narcissist never come back?

Why does my narcissist never come back?

Dante016 mins

After reading all the web articles and forums, you may be wondering why the narcissist who left you has never returned. “Am I not worthy enough to be hoovered by the narcissist?” you may wonder. This article may alter your mind.   First and foremostly, it is good that you are currently away from the narcissist, no matter whether you left or the narcissist discarded you. It may be unfortunate that you didn’t have a formal closure with your narcissist. But having a formal closure is nearly impossible to have with a narcissist. But if you think of having a formal closure when the narcissist tries to hoover or come back into being in a relationship and wonder why didn’t they come back, here are some reasons for it.    Even though the narcissist didn’t come back as you guessed, it is not advisable to feel defeated or worthless as the narcissist does want you to feel like that.    Do read the best things that happen after leaving the narcissist.   Whether you had gone no contact or the narcissist discarded you, the good thing is you are staying away from the narcissist right now. Life after leaving the narcissist will be a roller coaster of emotions as you deal with traumas and simultaneously heal and develop self-worth and boundaries. The feeling of lowering down your self-forth for not being hoovered back by the narcissist is also a part of it.   You don’t have to feel down anymore as nothing is wrong with your side. Here is some valid intel about why your narcissist never came back to you.    Why does the narcissist never come back to hoover you?   The narcissist will never come back if the narcissist has another supply, feels the victim can no longer be manipulated, doesn’t want to seem vulnerable in front of the victim, or knows the victim will never heal from the traumatic bonds. Putting your self-worth into hoovering by a narcissist who doesn’t value you is not worth time.  If you are valuing the love you had with the narcissist yet, you might feel guilty about leaving the narcissist. This may push you into self-doubts that you are the problem in the relationship. But the truth is, it has nothing to do with you, and the narcissist has failed you.  Narcissists are never successful in acquiring healthy relationships as they are just trying to fill the void in their souls.  If you still bother about the narcissist who never came back, here is the list of why the narcissist never wants to hoover you again. Hope this intel clarifies your doubts and heals you faster.  Udante recommends that you read our blogs to learn more about narcissism. You can use the comment box to vent and share your experiences regarding this subject. If you need to talk to someone about your feelings and vent, visit here and schedule a session. Not wanting to look vulnerable in front of the victim   Unless one is a vulnerable narcissist, you cannot see a narcissist who seems weak around you. This is because of narcissists’ inflated sense of self-importance, which leads them to believe that by apologizing and acting as though they love you back in order to hoover, they might lose control over the victim.  Narcissists disgust the feeling of looking vulnerable as well as giving you the validation you deserve. So, if your narcissist never comes back, understand that their self-importance is greater and more toxic than you imagine.    You can no longer be manipulated.   Narcissists are more conscious of your awareness level. They can feel the emotions you endure, the anger you express, and the deprivation of love. If they found that you came to know about them, and developed self-worth and boundaries, then it is obvious that you can no longer be manipulated.  Hence, the narcissist will choose to leave you and never come back again. It is good, isn’t it?  If you think this is the reason your narcissist has never tried to hoover back, then you are in the safe place.    Got another narcissistic supply   Narcissists never tend to stay in a relationship for long. But it might be heart-breaking when your narcissists get another partner with whom they seem to have a healthy and long-lasting relationship.  However, here is the reality behind that.  1. Your narcissist may depict that their current relationship is more successful than they had with you. Faking the circumstance is what narcissists are specialists at. They know that you are stalking their profile (even if it was once in a while). So, the narcissists plot to exhibit their current relationship just to hurt you.  2. The narcissist’s new partner is a good supply with more resources. The narcissist might find sticking with them worth it even though the relationship was abusive and toxic. The new supplier will also suffer and maybe worse than you.  3. Narcissists might have relationships with people with any one of these personalities. The personality traits include beta, healers, and others who act as better narcissistic enablers, who are capable of having a prolonged relationship with the narcissists.  Whatever it is, it isn’t worth getting jealous and feeling not-worthy enough for a person who refuses to see your worth.            View this post on Instagram                       A post shared by Udante (@udanteofficial)   Afraid of narcissistic injury   Narcissists are afraid of shame, so all they do in their lives is avoid getting shame by manipulating people to validate them. Giving the taste of their behaviors back leads to either complete rage or an everlasting narcissistic injury Once the narcissist leaves you, they think about the after-effects of discarding the person before trying to hoover you back. For example, “What if you didn’t respond to our hoovering tactics?” “What if you discarded them back?” “What if you expose their traits?” Can’t believe that the…

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Good things happen after leaving a narcissist

10 best things that happen after leaving the narcissist

Dante017 mins

We all know that leaving the Narcissist is tough. However, here you are! Willing to know about the good things that happen after leaving the narcissist. Although walking away from a narcissist may be a post-traumatic journey fraught with self-doubt and anxiety, let’s concentrate on the positive aspects to help you see clearly and heal faster.   After so many struggles, hardships, and withstanding abuses, a victim of narcissism has no option except to either stay captive for the rest of their lives or leave the narcissist for peace. If you are here reading this article, you might have already left or are planning on leaving the narcissist.    You can be in a state of confusion and self-doubts right now about whether going No-Contact will benefit you or not. So, reading this article might give a clear view of the positive aspects of leaving the narcissist.    Udante recommends that you read our blogs to learn more about narcissism. You can use the comment box to vent and share your experiences regarding this subject. If you need to talk to someone about your feelings and vent, visit here and schedule a session.   Now, let’s get into the article.    What are the benefits after leaving the narcissist?   Leaving a narcissist may hit hard as your obsession with the person who manipulated you into an abusive relationship is strong and painful to get over that.    You may be guilty of leaving someone behind and uncertain whether your decision is correct or not. Some people believe that leaving an abusive partner makes them a narcissist. As a matter of fact, it is what every narcissistic survivor is experiencing after leaving the narcissist.    This is why you should read the article Am I a narcissist?   Leaving the narcissist is the only possible way for any victim to exit from an abusive relationship. You can neither change them nor call out on them for obvious reasons that may get things worse.    Is leaving the narcissist the best way?   Although stepping away from the trauma bond of a narcissistic relationship is painful and fraught with concerns and self-doubts, it opens the path for you to recover and build self-worth and boundaries, making your life better than it was in an abusive relationship.   Some of the best things that will happen in your life after leaving the narcissist are listed here.    1. End of endless monologues   When you are in a narcissistic relationship, they make you believe it as a mutual relationship at first, but in no time, a narcissist will start to monologue. The self-pride wants to show off who they are and what they are capable of. They want to be your center of attention, even if it takes all your energy, time, and money.    In a narcissistic relationship, your opinions don’t matter until they speak; Unfortunately, they won’t stop monologuing about themselves.   When you leave a narcissistic relationship, the endless validation you gave to their never-ending monologues comes to an end. The pressure to agree with their pointless opinions while dismissing yours will end. Isn’t that what freedom looks like to you? Yes, it is.   2. No more walking on eggshells   Victims of narcissists were constantly subjected to gaslighting, silent treatments, and narcissistic tantrums. Through this, they have complete control over your emotions. If you want to do something on your own, you will be afraid of triggering the narcissist.   The neverending fear of not triggering the narcissist and preserving the relationship from falling apart is what it feels like walking on eggshells.    View this post on Instagram   A post shared by Udante (@udanteofficial) Leaving the narcissist is when you realize that the relationship you worked so hard to keep has already fallen apart. Perhaps the relationship hasn’t even begun to end.   3. Full stop to meaningless fights and anxieties   Waking up to quarrels, tantrums, and battling different fights every day is how a relationship with a narcissist goes. Some get hurt, and some fight back, but it always is a nightmare to be in an abusive relationship.      Why should you fight for nothing if they have no will to change or genuinely apologize?   Life becomes calm and peaceful after leaving a narcissist, even though you struggle to move on. All you have to do is acknowledge the calm and peace in the absence of the narcissist. Embrace it and feel the difference.    4. You are enough for yourself   Giving everything to the narcissist that is meant for you is what every victim has done in a narcissistic relationship. Whatever you have done, the narcissist won’t get fulfilled. Their soul is like an empty hollow that can never be filled. Despite that, they ask for more attention and validation while disrespecting you.    The feeling of not being enough to your partner is hurtful. You don’t deserve that!   After leaving the narcissist, it is time to create self-worth and self-love. Validating oneself and admitting your innocence makes you sufficient for yourself. Even if the narcissist has isolated you from your friends and family, you cannot get back on track unless you first become enough for yourself.   5. Have a full seat, not on edge as before   Have you ever held your breath to stop crying and wet your pillows with tears in silence? You most likely would. The inability to resolve issues with the narcissist you love and accept what they gaslight pushes you over the edge, filling you with anxiety and stress. It feels like you are in the vicinity of their explosion.    The narcissist will drink down your throat and keep you on the verge of an emotional breakdown. The abuse you have indulged has no words to describe and no one to listen to.   As a turnaround, you will feel safe and secure after leaving the narcissist. You may…

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