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December 21, 2024

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How to Make a Narcissist Fear You?

Dante023 mins

Narcissists often seem very confident and fearless. But have you ever wondered: what if they can feel fear too? It’s an interesting idea – the person who usually makes others feel afraid might actually be afraid themselves. But do they really face their fears? Let’s find out how to make a narcissist fear! Narcissists may seem like they have it all together, but beneath their grandiose facade lies a dark secret: a deep-seated fear of inadequacy and vulnerability. So, how do you get the fear out of the abuser who frightened you for the time being? Can Narcissist Feel Fear? Yes, narcissists can feel fear, even if they don’t show it in the way most people do. Their abusive and controlling behavior often hides deep insecurities and fears that they try to mask with a strong or intimidating front. A narcissist can be frightened in the same way as anyone else. However, narcissists may experience fear differently from others due to their exaggerated sense of self-importance and desire for admiration. A study published in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Review found that narcissists were more likely to experience fear in response to threats to their self-esteem or ego, such as criticism or rejection, rather than physical threats or danger.  The study also found that narcissists may be less likely to seek social support in response to fear, as they may view it as a sign of weakness or vulnerability. What do Narcissists Fear? Narcissists are inherently afraid of anything that might expose their vulnerabilities and imperfections. Any situation or interaction that threatens to dismantle this carefully crafted persona is met with fear like the following, Rejection Narcissists often fear being abandoned or rejected because their self-esteem depends on how others see them. If they feel someone is pulling away, it can trigger a sense of panic. Failure They might seem confident, but inside, they can be terrified of failure. Losing status, respect, or control over a situation can feel like a personal attack on their worth. Being Exposed Many narcissists create a “perfect” image of themselves. They fear that their flaws, weaknesses, or mistakes will be revealed, which could make them feel humiliated. Loss of Control Narcissists thrive on control. If they lose power over someone or something, it can leave them feeling vulnerable and scared. Criticism Even mild criticism can feel like a big threat to a narcissist. They fear being seen as “less than” or unworthy in the eyes of others.   How do Narcissists react to Fear? Before we talk about how to make a narcissist afraid, let’s first warn you about how they might react when they feel scared. When faced with fear—like rejection, failure, or criticism—narcissists often respond with defensive behaviors to protect their fragile self-esteem. Initially, they might react with denial, dismissing the threat or pretending it doesn’t bother them. If the fear deepens, they may escalate to anger, blaming others, or lashing out to regain control and dominance. This response helps them avoid confronting their vulnerability. In extreme cases, their reactions can become abusive or manipulative, such as gaslighting, emotional outbursts, or even aggressive intimidation. Their goal is to shift the focus away from their fear and onto others, ensuring their image of superiority remains intact. These responses, while harmful to others, are a way for narcissists to shield themselves from feeling powerless or exposed. Escape Narcissist’s Reaction to Fear How to make a Narcissist Fear You? Here are a few steps that can make a narcissist feel uncomfortable or fearful—not out of malice, but to help you maintain control and protect yourself. It is always better to make a narcissist back off from you! 1. Set Strong Boundaries A Step that always comes first when dealing with narcissists. They fear losing control over others. By setting and sticking to firm boundaries, you show them they can’t manipulate or dominate you. For example: “I won’t tolerate being spoken to disrespectfully. If it happens, I will leave the conversation.” Setting boundaries is not just for narcissists, it’s a life skill that everyone needs to know to give others only limited access to your life. To other people, setting boundaries is a form of understanding whereas, to narcissists, it’s not. Narcissists fear boundaries.    2. Don’t Argue After Saying “No” When you say “no” to a narcissist, they will often try to argue with you or wear you down into compliance. To avoid this, it’s important not to argue after saying “no” because that’s when they’ll start trying to convince you. This is because, narcissists always use your opinions against you in the form of gaslighting and if you don’t argue after saying “no,” narcissists may fear that they’re losing control over you. They may become frustrated and try to manipulate you into changing your mind.   3. Withdraw Attention Narcissists crave attention and validation. Ignoring their tantrums, silent treatments, or dramatic behaviors can make them feel powerless. Practice the “gray rock” technique: be emotionally neutral, giving them nothing to feed off.   4.  Don’t show empathy Does the narcissist expect empathy from you? Yes, narcissists use empathy as a tool to gain attention and validation from their victims. Especially covert narcissists tend to use their vulnerabilities (let’s say, The narcissist cries whenever you want to fight them for their mistake) to the victim and get instant control as well as validation. But if you stop showing the validation out of empathy, the narcissist might start getting the reality of their vulnerabilities and fear that their vulnerabilities won’t be validated by you.    5. Start Engaging with their Friends Narcissists tend to show off themselves as great socializers by having more friends. But once you start socializing with their friends, they would start panicking and feel insecure about this. This is because narcissists claim to have friends who are close but they’re not. Friends always know about the narc and remember how the narcissist treated them.  Hence, you socializing with them would reveal…

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cover image representing, See how narcissists reacts when you break their control

How Narcissists React when they can’t Control You?

Dante016 mins

Are you tired of constantly feeling controlled and manipulated by a narcissistic individual in your life? It’s time to change things to right. Break their controlling cycle and discover how narcissists react when they can’t control you.  Narcissists are individuals who have an inflated sense of self-importance and an excessive need for admiration and attention. In order to attain those, they need a sense of control over others. So, narcissists exploit those in their lives by manipulating and showing no empathy for them to gain control over them.  In relationships, this can manifest as attempts to dominate and control their partners through tactics such as gaslighting, bullying, and coercion. It’s important to recognize these patterns of behavior and seek help in addressing them if you are in a relationship with a narcissistic individual. Before getting into the article, we want you to know this platform is a community for Narcissists survivors where you can vent out your emotions through the comment section of our articles you relate to. You can either comment and respond to the people you relate to and also register with Udante if you want to have a private and friendly conversation with us for free.  Why do Narcissists control others? Narcissists want to control others to maintain a sense of power and to regulate their own insecurities and self-esteem. By controlling their environment and the people in it, they can avoid feeling vulnerable and ensure that they always receive the admiration and attention they crave.  Additionally, control allows them to manipulate situations to their advantage and avoid being held accountable for their actions. By exerting control, narcissists can also feed their sense of superiority and assert their dominance over others. How do Narcissists feel when they control others? When a narcissist is able to control others, they often feel a sense of power, validation, and superiority. This reinforces their belief in their own grandiose sense of self-importance and further fuels their need for admiration and attention. It is worth noting, however, that this sense of satisfaction is typically short-lived and also wants more. So, the need for control often becomes a vicious cycle that is difficult to break. It is possible that the act of controlling others releases dopamine in the brains of narcissists. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that is associated with feelings of pleasure, reward, and motivation.  Controlling others can be a pleasurable and rewarding experience for narcissists as it reinforces their sense of power, superiority, and self-importance, leading to a release of dopamine in the brain and making the behavior more addicting. How do Narcissists react when they can’t control others? When a narcissist can’t control you, it brings out their inner insecurities. Narcissists when their self-esteem and pride get failed leading them to get anxious and feel defeated. Hence, they may react in any of the following ways Become Angry Birds When they can’t control someone, it is common for narcissists to react with frustration and anger when their attempts at control are challenged, as their sense of superiority is often tied to their ability to control others.  When their sense of superiority is threatened, they may lash out in anger, either through verbal or physical aggression, or passive-aggressive behavior. This reaction is often rooted in a need to reassert their dominance and regain control. Malignant and grandiose narcissists are more likely to react in this way. Gets Disappointed in the Core They may feel frustrated and inadequate when they can’t control a situation, leading to feelings of disappointment. This can be particularly challenging for them as their self-pride gets down and the feeling of grandiosity drops. Some narcissists may have a greater need to control others as a means of regulating their own emotions and insecurities. When they are unable to do so, they may experience greater levels of disappointment. Withdrawal from everything In some cases, they may withdraw from the situation and avoid any further interaction if they feel that their attempts at control have failed. This can involve physically withdrawing from the situation, such as leaving the room or ending a conversation, or it can involve emotional withdrawal, such as becoming distant or unresponsive. This can be a way for them to avoid facing their own limitations and inadequacies. On the other hand, they do withdraw in the form of ghosting. This helps narcissists to regain attention and control over you. By ghosting you, the narcissist can communicate their dissatisfaction and exert a passive form of control. Shameless gets shame If their attempts at control are publicly exposed or challenged, they may experience feelings of shame and embarrassment. Their sense of superiority is often tied to their ability to control others, and when this is challenged, they may feel a deep sense of humiliation.  Narcissists may try to hide their feelings of shame by rationalizing their behavior and shifting the blame onto others. Below reactions by narcissists is the cause of the excess shame, they feel when they can’t control you. Denial as if nothing happened Denial is a common defense mechanism used by narcissists, and it can be a barrier to growth and change. Narcissists deny that they have failed to control you and experiencing negative emotions. For example, imagine a narcissist is told by a friend that they were rude and dismissive during a conversation. Instead of admitting that they might have acted inappropriately, the narcissist may say something like, “I was just having a bad day, you’re overreacting.”  Projection to protect them They may project their own feelings and behavior like, accusing you of trying to control them or of having the same motivations that they themselves have. In such cases, the narcissist will point out you as the problem rather than admit their controlling attempts. The narcissists might say “It was you who trying to control me”. In another instance, if a narcissist is unable to convince someone to do what they want, and instead of accepting that they were not successful in exerting their control, they blame the…

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image of Two skeleton kissing each other saying "What happens when two narcissists date"

How do Two Narcissists Live in a Relationship?

Dante010 mins

A Narcissistic couple may look like having a joyous and romantic life together, but you may not know the dark truth that happens. Let’s look at what happens when two narcissists date and how two narcissists live in a relationship.    A narcissist is a person with a personality disorder characterized by excessive self-love and self-obsession. In relationships, narcissistic individuals may initially seem charming and attentive, but their true colors soon surface as they prioritize their own needs above their partner’s and have a lack of empathy for others. They may use love as a tool to manipulate and control their partner, leading to unhealthy and unequal dynamics in the relationship.   Before getting into the article, we want you to know this platform is a community for Narcissists survivors where you can vent out your emotions through the comment section of our articles you relate to. You can either comment and respond to the people you relate to and also register with Udante if you want to have a private and friendly conversation with us for free.    Can Two narcissist Fall in Love? Yes, it is possible for two narcissists to form a relationship. However, their relationship is likely to be tumultuous and marked by manipulation, control, and a constant struggle for power. As both partners prioritize themselves above the relationship, there may be a lack of intimacy, emotional depth, and mutual support. These factors can contribute to the relationship’s instability and ultimately lead to its demise.   How do narcissists fall in love with each other? Two narcissists may love each other because they see themselves reflected in each other and feel validated by the relationship. They may also find each other to be a source of supply, fulfilling their need for admiration and attention. Narcissists may be attracted to other narcissists because they see a reflection of themselves in the other person and feel validated by the relationship. They may also find each other to be a source of supply, fulfilling their need for admiration and attention. Additionally, both partners may enjoy the power dynamic in the relationship, with each trying to control the other. The relationship may become a competition for who is the superior one, with both partners seeking to assert their dominance.   Relationship Between Two Narcissists When two narcissists date and become a narcissistic couple, it can turn into a tumultuous and volatile experience for both parties and eventually collapse. When two narcissists fall in love, they may initially feel it to be a thrilling and intense experience.  They may idealize each other and see the relationship as a perfect match. However, as the relationship progresses, the power struggles between the two individuals become increasingly evident. Despite the harm it causes to both partners, they may struggle to leave the relationship too. So, this will increase the duration of this narcissistic relationship prolonging.    What happens when two narcissists date? When two narcissists fall in love, they may initially react in the following ways: Idealization: They may idealize each other and see the relationship as a perfect match, with both individuals sharing a grandiose sense of self-importance. Mutual Mirroring: They may engage in mutual mirroring, where they both reflect and amplify each other’s positive traits, leading to a heightened sense of validation and self-esteem. Intense Attraction: The combination of idealization and mutual mirroring may result in an intense attraction between the two narcissists. Power Struggles: As the relationship progresses, the power struggles between the two individuals may become increasingly evident. Each partner may try to assert their dominance and control over the other. Manipulation: In an effort to maintain control, they may engage in manipulation, trying to control their partner’s emotions and thoughts. Emotional Abuse: The toxic dynamics of their mutual Narcissistic Personality Disorder can result in emotional abuse, with each partner trying to undermine the other’s sense of self-worth. Difficulty Leaving: Due to their strong need for validation and control, they may struggle to leave the relationship, despite the harm it causes to both partners. We can classify this whole period of the Relationship between two narcissists into two different phases namely Sweet Phase and the Toxic Phase.    Sweet Phase of a Narcissistic Couple The initial phase of a relationship between two narcissists can be described as Sweet Phase and it is intense and exhilarating. Both individuals may feel a strong attraction to each other due to their mutual self-absorption and grandiose sense of self-importance.  Since they share mutual personality traits, they may feel like they are made for each other, however, this excitement is often short-lived. As the relationship progresses, the toxic dynamics of their mutual Narcissistic Personality Disorder can become increasingly evident, leading to the collapse of the relationship.   Toxic Phase of a Narcissistic Couple The toxic phase of a relationship between two narcissists is characterized by power struggles, manipulation, and emotional abuse. As the initial excitement of idealization and mirroring fades, the relationship becomes increasingly hostile, with each partner trying to assert their dominance and control over the other.  The relationship becomes an endless cycle of emotional abuse, with each partner trying to undermine the other’s sense of self-worth and control their behavior. Ultimately, this toxic dynamic can lead to the end of the relationship, causing significant emotional damage to both individuals. During this Toxic phase, there occurs more drama, aggression, fights, manipulations, and so on. We can witness a whole Narcissist vs Narcissist battle.   Read to know about Fights between different types of narcissists   Ending with a Note It’s important to note that individuals with narcissistic traits can experience significant personal growth and improvement with proper therapy and self-reflection. However, without effort to change, a relationship between two narcissists is likely to be unstable and may eventually end in disappointment and heartbreak.  Also, narcissists possess no will to change and are renowned for lacking self-growth. So, try to avoid getting included between a narcissistic couple as it can be exhausting and abusive as…

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What happens when two narcissists fight with each other

What happens when Two Narcissists Fight with each other?

Dante015 mins

Narcissist vs Narcissist, See what happens when two narcissists fight with each other. How do their opposing egos and manipulative behavior works?   When you see a narcissist vs narcissist fight going on, say a fight between your parents who are both narcissists, you must know the conflicts that can arise between individuals with narcissistic personality disorder and react accordingly.    What happens When two narcissists meet? When two individuals with narcissistic personality disorder meet, they may initially be attracted to each other due to their mutual feelings of grandiosity and sense of self-importance. However, over time, conflicts may arise as they both compete for power, control and attention. Ultimately, the relationship may become dysfunctional, as both individuals struggle to maintain their inflated sense of self and struggle to feel superior to the other.   Common things that occur between two narcissists: Lack of empathy: Both individuals may have difficulties understanding each other’s feelings and perspectives, leading to a lack of empathy in the relationship. Competition: The competition between two narcissists may escalate and lead to manipulation, belittling, and criticism. Difficulty in compromise: Narcissists often have difficulty compromising and may struggle to resolve conflicts. Inability to admit fault: Both individuals may struggle to admit fault or take responsibility for their actions, leading to persistent conflicts. High risk of ending: The relationship may eventually become toxic and may end abruptly or in a volatile manner. Also read, What happens when two narcissists fall in love?    Narcissist vs Narcissist The term “narcissism” is often used to describe individuals with excessive self-love and a strong sense of entitlement. However, there are different types of narcissistic personality disorder, each with its own unique characteristics and traits. When two different types of narcissists find themselves in conflict, it can lead to a big emotional tension between the two. Let’s see how conflicts may happen between the different types of narcissists.    Before getting into the article, we want you to know this platform is created with the motive that you can vent out your emotions through the comment section of the articles you relate to. You can either comment and respond to the people you relate to and also register with Udante if you want to have a private and friendly conversation with us for free.    1. Grandiose Narcissist vs Vulnerable Narcissist A grandiose narcissist is characterized by extreme confidence, arrogance, and a tendency to dominate others. A vulnerable narcissist, on the other hand, is more sensitive to criticism and has a deep-seated fear of rejection.  When these two types of narcissists find themselves in conflict, it can quickly escalate into a power struggle as each individual tries to assert their dominance. The grandiose narcissist may seek to prove their superiority by belittling the vulnerable narcissist, while the vulnerable narcissist may respond with anger and defensive behavior.  This type of conflict may also involve manipulative tactics, as each individual seeks to maintain control and prove their worth. However, the person with grandiose narcissism will more likely have the upper hand against vulnerable narcissists who are prone to look weak and fragile to gain control over others.   2. Covert Narcissist vs. Overt Narcissist A covert narcissist is characterized by a tendency to manipulate and control others through subtle and passive-aggressive tactics. On the other hand, overt narcissist is more obvious in their need for attention and admiration. When these two types of narcissists find themselves in conflict, the covert narcissist may use their subtle tactics to undermine the overt narcissist. In contrast, the overt narcissist may respond with explosive and aggressive behavior.    This type of conflict can be particularly toxic, as the covert narcissist’s passive-aggressive behavior can create a sense of confusion and instability, while the overt narcissist’s outbursts can escalate the situation and lead to further harm.   3. Covert Narcissist vs Vulnerable Narcissist When a covert narcissist and a vulnerable narcissist have a conflict, it can result in a hideous and covertly toxic. The covert narcissist, who tends to manipulate and control others through passive-aggressive tactics, may use subtle ways to undermine the vulnerable narcissist. The vulnerable narcissist’s fear of rejection and sensitivity to criticism can lead to an intense reaction to the covert narcissist’s undermining tactics. However, the covert narcissist’s manipulative behavior can cause the vulnerable narcissist to feel constantly unstable and unsure of what is happening, leading to further stress and anxiety. In this type of conflict, each individual may struggle to understand the other’s perspective and may engage in further manipulative behavior in an attempt to maintain control and prove their worth. This can result in a vicious cycle of tension and conflict that can cause significant harm to both individuals and potentially those around them.   4. Grandiose Narcissist vs Overt Narcissist When a grandiose narcissist and an overt narcissist fight, it can result in a battle for power through extreme arrogance, aggression, and a desire to dominate. The grandiose narcissist, who is characterized by their extreme confidence and a need to control and dominate others, may seek to prove their superiority over the overt narcissist, who is also known for their need for attention and admiration. This can lead to a volatile exchange, with each individual trying to assert their dominance and prove their worth. The overt narcissist, who is more upfront about their desire for admiration, may react to the grandiose narcissist’s attempts to impose dominance with aggressive and hostile behavior. In turn, the grandiose narcissist may reply with callous or condescending conduct, escalating the issue further. This type of conflict can be highly destructive, as both individuals may lack empathy and engage in manipulative and aggressive behavior in an attempt to maintain control. The result can be a toxic and unhealthy dynamic that can have serious consequences for all involved.   5. Malignant Narcissist vs Communal Narcissist When a fight rises between a malignant narcissist and a communal narcissist, it can become a never-ending drama, Ego, and abuse. The malignant narcissist, who…

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Top cheating patterns of a covert narcissists

Cheating Patterns of the Covert Narcissists

Dante011 mins

Narcissists always follow certain patterns in their abusive behavior. They follow a unique pattern to cheat their partners. Cheating gets tougher to find and hard to get over when it is a covert narcissist especially.   Covert narcissists often appear to be humble, shy, or even self-effacing, but underneath this facade lies a deep-seated need for admiration, validation, and control.   Love and Covert Narcissist A covert narcissist is a type of narcissist who is less obvious in their narcissism than an overt or “classic” narcissist. They may appear shy, humble, or even self-effacing, but underneath they have the same sense of entitlement and lack of empathy as an overt narcissist. They may also use manipulation, control, and passive-aggressive behavior to get their way. Covert narcissists may have a difficult time with love, as they tend to be emotionally unavailable and can’t empathize with others. They may also be prone to idealizing and then devaluing their partners. They may also use love as a tool for manipulation, rather than genuinely caring for the other person.   Why do covert narcissists cheat their partners? Covert narcissists may cheat because they have a strong need for attention and validation from different persons. They may seek out new partners to feed their ego, or to gain a sense of power over others. Narcissists lack empathy, and may not see the harm that their actions cause to others. They have a great sense of self-esteem and believe that they have the right to cheat and that their needs are more important than their partner’s emotions. If you are dating a person who possesses the traits of a covert narcissist, here are some cheating patterns they might do for you.   The cheating Patterns of a Covert Narcissist Covert narcissists are known for being highly secretive and often hide their infidelities. They may cheat in a variety of ways, and some of the most common cheating patterns of a covert narcissist that include:   1. Emotional affairs A person who is covertly narcissistic may form deep emotional connections with people outside of their primary relationship. This can happen through social media or online platforms, where they may feel anonymous and free to express themselves without judgment.    They may also seek out people who they believe will be a better match for them than their current partner. These emotional affairs can be just as damaging as physical affairs, as they can drain emotional energy and create distance in the primary relationship. For example,  Your partner may have a close friendship with a colleague at work. They may confide in each other about their problems and feelings, and may even flirt with each other. They may feel that this colleague understands them better than you and may start to develop feelings for them. Your partner may not physically cheat on you, but the emotional connection they have with this colleague is a form of infidelity.   2. Manipulation  The act of manipulating others is a primary tactic of a narcissist. In terms of Covert narcissists, they may manipulate their partner into believing that they are faithful, while secretly engaging in infidelity. They may use manipulation tactics such as lying, withholding information, and playing the victim to cover their tracks.  Narcissists also tend to be very good at playing the victim. They may manipulate situations and make their partner feel guilty for questioning their loyalty, in order to keep them from suspecting anything. For example,  Your partner may cheat on you but then manipulate you into thinking that they were not at fault. For example, they may blame you for not paying enough attention to them or for being too controlling, which led them to cheat. They may also convince you that they were drunk, depressed or that it was a one-time mistake.   3. Gaslighting Covert narcissists may use gaslighting tactics to blame their partner for their own infidelity or to make them question their own reality. They may deny any wrongdoing, even when presented with evidence to the contrary, and may make their partner feel like they are crazy for suspecting anything. This can lead to the partner feeling unsupported and isolated, which can make it difficult to leave the relationship. For example, Your partner may cheat on you and then convince you that you are overreacting or imagining things. They may also make you question your own memory, for example, by saying that you misremember the events or that you misunderstood their intentions.   4. Compartmentalization Covert narcissists may keep their relationships and affairs separate and compartmentalized so that their partner does not suspect anything. They may be very discreet in their activities and may have different phone numbers or email addresses for different people. They may also keep their affairs hidden from family and friends, which can make it difficult for the partner to discover the infidelity. For example, Your partner may cheat on you by keeping their relationships and affairs separate and compartmentalized. They may have a separate phone number or email address for their lover, and may only see them at certain times or places. He/She may also keep their affairs hidden from family and friends, which can make it difficult for you to discover the cheating behavior.   5. Denial Covert narcissists may deny any wrongdoing or infidelity, even when presented with evidence to the contrary. They may use manipulation tactics such as lying, withholding information, and playing the victim to cover their tracks. They may also make their partner feel guilty for questioning their fidelity, in order to keep them from suspecting anything. For example, Your partner may cheat on you and then deny any wrongdoing when confronted. They may use manipulation tactics such as lying, withholding information, and playing the victim to cover their tracks. They may even accuse you of being paranoid or not trusting them. They may also refuse to acknowledge any evidence that you may have that proves to cheat.    A Final Suggestion…

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Answers to Why does my narcissist never come back?

Why does my narcissist never come back?

Dante016 mins

After reading all the web articles and forums, you may be wondering why the narcissist who left you has never returned. “Am I not worthy enough to be hoovered by the narcissist?” you may wonder. This article may alter your mind.   First and foremostly, it is good that you are currently away from the narcissist, no matter whether you left or the narcissist discarded you. It may be unfortunate that you didn’t have a formal closure with your narcissist. But having a formal closure is nearly impossible to have with a narcissist. But if you think of having a formal closure when the narcissist tries to hoover or come back into being in a relationship and wonder why didn’t they come back, here are some reasons for it.    Even though the narcissist didn’t come back as you guessed, it is not advisable to feel defeated or worthless as the narcissist does want you to feel like that.    Do read the best things that happen after leaving the narcissist.   Whether you had gone no contact or the narcissist discarded you, the good thing is you are staying away from the narcissist right now. Life after leaving the narcissist will be a roller coaster of emotions as you deal with traumas and simultaneously heal and develop self-worth and boundaries. The feeling of lowering down your self-forth for not being hoovered back by the narcissist is also a part of it.   You don’t have to feel down anymore as nothing is wrong with your side. Here is some valid intel about why your narcissist never came back to you.    Why does the narcissist never come back to hoover you?   The narcissist will never come back if the narcissist has another supply, feels the victim can no longer be manipulated, doesn’t want to seem vulnerable in front of the victim, or knows the victim will never heal from the traumatic bonds. Putting your self-worth into hoovering by a narcissist who doesn’t value you is not worth time.  If you are valuing the love you had with the narcissist yet, you might feel guilty about leaving the narcissist. This may push you into self-doubts that you are the problem in the relationship. But the truth is, it has nothing to do with you, and the narcissist has failed you.  Narcissists are never successful in acquiring healthy relationships as they are just trying to fill the void in their souls.  If you still bother about the narcissist who never came back, here is the list of why the narcissist never wants to hoover you again. Hope this intel clarifies your doubts and heals you faster.  Udante recommends that you read our blogs to learn more about narcissism. You can use the comment box to vent and share your experiences regarding this subject. If you need to talk to someone about your feelings and vent, visit here and schedule a session. Not wanting to look vulnerable in front of the victim   Unless one is a vulnerable narcissist, you cannot see a narcissist who seems weak around you. This is because of narcissists’ inflated sense of self-importance, which leads them to believe that by apologizing and acting as though they love you back in order to hoover, they might lose control over the victim.  Narcissists disgust the feeling of looking vulnerable as well as giving you the validation you deserve. So, if your narcissist never comes back, understand that their self-importance is greater and more toxic than you imagine.    You can no longer be manipulated.   Narcissists are more conscious of your awareness level. They can feel the emotions you endure, the anger you express, and the deprivation of love. If they found that you came to know about them, and developed self-worth and boundaries, then it is obvious that you can no longer be manipulated.  Hence, the narcissist will choose to leave you and never come back again. It is good, isn’t it?  If you think this is the reason your narcissist has never tried to hoover back, then you are in the safe place.    Got another narcissistic supply   Narcissists never tend to stay in a relationship for long. But it might be heart-breaking when your narcissists get another partner with whom they seem to have a healthy and long-lasting relationship.  However, here is the reality behind that.  1. Your narcissist may depict that their current relationship is more successful than they had with you. Faking the circumstance is what narcissists are specialists at. They know that you are stalking their profile (even if it was once in a while). So, the narcissists plot to exhibit their current relationship just to hurt you.  2. The narcissist’s new partner is a good supply with more resources. The narcissist might find sticking with them worth it even though the relationship was abusive and toxic. The new supplier will also suffer and maybe worse than you.  3. Narcissists might have relationships with people with any one of these personalities. The personality traits include beta, healers, and others who act as better narcissistic enablers, who are capable of having a prolonged relationship with the narcissists.  Whatever it is, it isn’t worth getting jealous and feeling not-worthy enough for a person who refuses to see your worth.            View this post on Instagram                       A post shared by Udante (@udanteofficial)   Afraid of narcissistic injury   Narcissists are afraid of shame, so all they do in their lives is avoid getting shame by manipulating people to validate them. Giving the taste of their behaviors back leads to either complete rage or an everlasting narcissistic injury Once the narcissist leaves you, they think about the after-effects of discarding the person before trying to hoover you back. For example, “What if you didn’t respond to our hoovering tactics?” “What if you discarded them back?” “What if you expose their traits?” Can’t believe that the…

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Good things happen after leaving a narcissist

10 best things that happen after leaving the narcissist

Dante017 mins

We all know that leaving the Narcissist is tough. However, here you are! Willing to know about the good things that happen after leaving the narcissist. Although walking away from a narcissist may be a post-traumatic journey fraught with self-doubt and anxiety, let’s concentrate on the positive aspects to help you see clearly and heal faster.   After so many struggles, hardships, and withstanding abuses, a victim of narcissism has no option except to either stay captive for the rest of their lives or leave the narcissist for peace. If you are here reading this article, you might have already left or are planning on leaving the narcissist.    You can be in a state of confusion and self-doubts right now about whether going No-Contact will benefit you or not. So, reading this article might give a clear view of the positive aspects of leaving the narcissist.    Udante recommends that you read our blogs to learn more about narcissism. You can use the comment box to vent and share your experiences regarding this subject. If you need to talk to someone about your feelings and vent, visit here and schedule a session.   Now, let’s get into the article.    What are the benefits after leaving the narcissist?   Leaving a narcissist may hit hard as your obsession with the person who manipulated you into an abusive relationship is strong and painful to get over that.    You may be guilty of leaving someone behind and uncertain whether your decision is correct or not. Some people believe that leaving an abusive partner makes them a narcissist. As a matter of fact, it is what every narcissistic survivor is experiencing after leaving the narcissist.    This is why you should read the article Am I a narcissist?   Leaving the narcissist is the only possible way for any victim to exit from an abusive relationship. You can neither change them nor call out on them for obvious reasons that may get things worse.    Is leaving the narcissist the best way?   Although stepping away from the trauma bond of a narcissistic relationship is painful and fraught with concerns and self-doubts, it opens the path for you to recover and build self-worth and boundaries, making your life better than it was in an abusive relationship.   Some of the best things that will happen in your life after leaving the narcissist are listed here.    1. End of endless monologues   When you are in a narcissistic relationship, they make you believe it as a mutual relationship at first, but in no time, a narcissist will start to monologue. The self-pride wants to show off who they are and what they are capable of. They want to be your center of attention, even if it takes all your energy, time, and money.    In a narcissistic relationship, your opinions don’t matter until they speak; Unfortunately, they won’t stop monologuing about themselves.   When you leave a narcissistic relationship, the endless validation you gave to their never-ending monologues comes to an end. The pressure to agree with their pointless opinions while dismissing yours will end. Isn’t that what freedom looks like to you? Yes, it is.   2. No more walking on eggshells   Victims of narcissists were constantly subjected to gaslighting, silent treatments, and narcissistic tantrums. Through this, they have complete control over your emotions. If you want to do something on your own, you will be afraid of triggering the narcissist.   The neverending fear of not triggering the narcissist and preserving the relationship from falling apart is what it feels like walking on eggshells.    View this post on Instagram   A post shared by Udante (@udanteofficial) Leaving the narcissist is when you realize that the relationship you worked so hard to keep has already fallen apart. Perhaps the relationship hasn’t even begun to end.   3. Full stop to meaningless fights and anxieties   Waking up to quarrels, tantrums, and battling different fights every day is how a relationship with a narcissist goes. Some get hurt, and some fight back, but it always is a nightmare to be in an abusive relationship.      Why should you fight for nothing if they have no will to change or genuinely apologize?   Life becomes calm and peaceful after leaving a narcissist, even though you struggle to move on. All you have to do is acknowledge the calm and peace in the absence of the narcissist. Embrace it and feel the difference.    4. You are enough for yourself   Giving everything to the narcissist that is meant for you is what every victim has done in a narcissistic relationship. Whatever you have done, the narcissist won’t get fulfilled. Their soul is like an empty hollow that can never be filled. Despite that, they ask for more attention and validation while disrespecting you.    The feeling of not being enough to your partner is hurtful. You don’t deserve that!   After leaving the narcissist, it is time to create self-worth and self-love. Validating oneself and admitting your innocence makes you sufficient for yourself. Even if the narcissist has isolated you from your friends and family, you cannot get back on track unless you first become enough for yourself.   5. Have a full seat, not on edge as before   Have you ever held your breath to stop crying and wet your pillows with tears in silence? You most likely would. The inability to resolve issues with the narcissist you love and accept what they gaslight pushes you over the edge, filling you with anxiety and stress. It feels like you are in the vicinity of their explosion.    The narcissist will drink down your throat and keep you on the verge of an emotional breakdown. The abuse you have indulged has no words to describe and no one to listen to.   As a turnaround, you will feel safe and secure after leaving the narcissist. You may…

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35 narcissistic red flags you missed out

35 Narcissistic Red flags Checklist

Dante041 mins

Identifying the narcissist at an earlier stage is not something that always happens. Survivors wish they knew about the red flags of the narcissist earlier and avoided the narcissist. But it isn’t that easy to find snakes in the forest, isn’t it? This article lists the narcissistic red flags for you to resemble your past, learn in the present, and be ready for the future.    Red flags of a narcissist are often neglected by the people’s ignorance and love for the person. The one who ignores the red flags is the one who gets trapped in an abusive relationship. Since narcissists are masters at manipulating you and hiding their noxious secrets, ignoring the red flags isn’t your fault. Apart from all that, you are now looking for solutions, learning about narcissism, and healing from those abusive experiences. Let’s spread awareness about the narcissistic red flags and help the community avoid narcissists.   What are narcissistic red flags?   For people who wonder what this is, Narcissists cannot hide their true selves forever, and so, within the time being, their behavior will get exposed either by themselves or through the circumstances. Knowing about narcissistic red flags will help you indicate the narcissist far quicker and evade an abusive relationship.     What are the red flags of a narcissist?   We are delving into several red flags you probably encountered before or may experience in the future. So, take note or download the narcissistic red flags checklist given below to refer to it throughout your life.   Just a reminder, if you find any narcissistic red flags here relevant to what you have experienced, feel free to vent it on the comment section. This platform is for you to vent out your emotions. Let’s share our thoughts and help the community.     Note the red flags given in this article, analyze the person, and note it on the checklist if you have doubts like “Am I dating a narcissist?” “Are my parents narcissists?” “Why am I getting traumatic experiences around the people I love?” “Are my friends toxic?”   1. The look of Narc’s friends on you   Narcissists most likely don’t bring their friends to your life. But if they tend to do, the narcissist probably wants to exhibit their socializing skills. On such occasions, narcissists’ friends’ eyes will tell stories about your narc’s past.   It’s not the eyes of the narc’s friends that hate you but surprisingly, they see you in a pitying manner. If you looked closely, you could feel the doubts in their mind, like, “How does she even end up with him?” You know that they knew something about your Narc partner, and that is how the friends of narcissists are.   2. Have very low to zero friends   There are different types of narcissists but possess similar abusive patterns. The only difference is their personality and red flags. The grandiose and malignant narcissists usually have more friend circles to get the center of attention between others. But covert or vulnerable narcissists keep their traits hideous by having no one around them. Such narcissists treat their friends so badly that no one wishes to stick with them.    Even though they claim to have friends, they won’t let you interact with them. If you tried to interact, you could feel that the friends are not even close and rarely even acquaintances.   3. Doesn’t like your friends   Narcissists hate the victim with support. So, they manipulate you to give full attention to them, leaving your friends behind. They often refuse to interact with your friends and project them as toxic ones. Narcissists fear your friends’ questioning eyes and get anxious knowing that you have external support.   4. Double standards for the friends of the opposite sex   Narcissists are very good at triangulating people and playing with their emotions. They intentionally introduce someone of their opposite sex and make you feel jealous. But in your case, you just cannot even introduce a genuine friend of the opposite gender to the narcissist. If that happens, the narcissist will try to project you as a cheater by saying,   “Oh, who’s that guy you are close with? Are you planning on cheating me?” “You are flirting with her like she’s your girlfriend.”   Narcissists do this as they want them to be the only opposite gender you must rely on. This is one of the crucial narcissistic red flags to notice; otherwise, they would spoil your whole friend circle of yours.   5. Never hangouts with your people   If you are in a relationship, you are probably dreaming of a future with your partner, and that’s what love is. But narcissists do not see any future with you despite seeing you as a controlling toy. So, engaging with your people can lead to trouble in the future. To avoid this, narcissists avoid hanging out with people close to you, especially your family.   So remember this red flag, One who is not ready to meet your people does not wish your life to be good either.   6. Dislikes anything you like   When you start dating a narcissist, it looks like everything goes as you intend to be. They resonate with whatever you like and project it as you both have a lot in common. But in time, the red flag will appear right in front of you. The narcissist will always dislike anything you like; for example, if you like a popular show and so does everyone, the narcissist won’t.   The narcissist will ask you to change your perceptions to what they like; otherwise, they refuse to spend time with you. This act of the narcissist is to test their control over you, especially at the beginning of the abuse. (Mention what your narcissist likes in you at first but dislikes later in the comments).   7. Monologues about themselves   Narcissists can hide anything but not their…

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Banner to support children of narcissistic parents

How to Support Children of Narcissistic Parents?

Dante014 mins

If you are a parent who adopted a child or is divorced and raising the child separately or a teacher who looks out for the student who exhibits odd behaviors as a result of previous experiences with narcissistic parents, this article is for you. Note some crucial points that help to support and guide a child who was raised by narcissistic parents.   Narcissism manifests into our life on various occasions like friendships, relationships, workplaces, politics, and families. But in a Kid’s life, the parents play a major role in introducing narcissism into their lives. The ways the kids experience narcissism through their parents are: over validation, neglect, gaslights, manipulation, abuse, blameshifts, comparison, and triangulation. So, supporting a child raised by a narcissistic parent needs a strong awareness of narcissism, studying the ways to guide them, and executing them right.   If you are afraid that the kid of the narcissistic parent might also be a narcissist, here is some good news for you. According to psychologists, narcissistic traits are present in children raised by narcissistic parents, but the personality develops and becomes a disorder only after the age of 18, sometimes longer.   So, with a proper amount of guidance, empathy, and love, one can support a child to heal from his/her trauma, leading them to a normal life.   Guide to supporting a child of narcissistic parents   How to support a child raised by a narcissist? To support and guide the kid who was raised by a narcissistic parent, a well-researched understanding of narcissism and certain good practices are required to curb the narcissistic traits radiating in them. So, during the mission to support the child raised by the narcissistic parent, Restrain the sense of entitlement Construct boundaries and restrictions Don’t criticize the narcissistic parent Be a calm parent Do not give up on them Limit the interaction with the narcissist Teach them empathy Give freedom to take decisions Train Personality development skill Finally, be ready to let them go on their own are the ways to support a child to heal from the trauma bond with the narcissistic parent.   Restrain the sense of entitlement   It is common to see narcissistic traits in children of narcissistic parents, especially the state of feeling entitled. The child may get overvalued by hiding their shame if they are the golden child to the parents. The kid might seem to have high self-esteem and look down on others including you. Such children find it hard to adapt to situations and act rude to others to feel entitled.   So, be frank about the rude behavior and bullies in a gentle manner, and teach the child that he/she is not special and is the same as other kids.   Construct boundaries and restrictions   Set limits to the child to not cross it and discipline them in good habits, for e.g., limit the financial expenses, do not let them disrespect you, etc. Making them respect your boundaries helps them to set boundaries for themselves.   Don’t criticize the Narcissistic Parent in front of the child   You probably hate the narcissistic parent that leaves the child behind, but it is not advisable to criticize the narcissist in front of the child. Although the narcissist was being hurtful to the child, the child still may love the parent only for the good times he/she had with the narcissist during the manipulation and love bombing phases.   The innocent child is not aware of the narcissistic behaviors, and so, talking ill about the narcissist in front of them makes them feel disappointed in you and may lead to a conclusion that you are being rude and heartless.   Be a calm parent   Unlike life with a narcissist, the child must not feel the emotional roller coaster. Instead, the kid must feel safe and peaceful in your presence. To do that, give a calm composure, be liberal to their opinions, always listen to them, and give suggestions rather than giving orders. This makes them feel comfortable, be open about their feelings, and wish to stay with you.   Do not give up on them   At the moment, the child may feel like he/she lost everything in their life after their narcissistic parents. So, a sudden love and care from your side may feel fake and temporary. So, they try to push your limits to see your true face as like their previous narcissistic parent. Such kids need constant love and care from your side to prove to them you are different. So, get a hold of this idea and do not give up on them. Have you ever experienced narcissistic abuse or currently experiencing one? Are you struggling to vent about that to anyone? Remember that venting to somebody who listens to you is the first step to healing. So, register here and vent to a listener who understands you. Limit the interaction with the narcissistic parent   Not everyone can go no contact with the narcissist, some are bound by the law and things. So, try to limit the interaction between the narcissist and the child, without being violent. The narcissist one who threw away the victims will always come back playing the victim card. You may not be the one who falls for it, but the innocent child does. So, limit the interaction as much as possible. The narcissist will try to breach the limit sometimes which should be taken immediately with legal actions.    Teach them Empathy   Narcissists lack empathy and neglect to understand human emotions. If such traits are found in the child, show unconditional love, be cheerful around them, and do not hide your emotions with them. Express the sadness, love, happiness, upset, and the reason behind them. Make sure they acknowledge your emotions. Verbalizing your feelings helps them to understand your emotions, as a result, the child will develop good communication with you and start expressing their emotions too.    You might have witnessed the kids of narcissists being rude…

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Vector image of narcissistic parents scolding a kid

Life of Children with Narcissistic Parents

Dante116 mins

A child under the parenting of narcissists goes through a lot emotionally and physically. Any kid is less likely to know or recognize the toxicity of their parents and tends to experience pain, self-doubts, gaslights, abuse, etc., throughout their childhood. Now, let’s see how these children raised by narcissistic parents evolve as a character in the future.   Parenting plays a vital role in personality development for a kid to set a solid character in the next phase of their lives. Countless studies are here to prove the relationship between parenting and a kid’s character development. It’s what decides how the child evolves to become a virtuous person or not. Children of narcissistic parents, on the other hand, have a difficult time growing up and are more likely to get PTSD or become narcissists themselves.   It must be hurtful to see children possessing narcissistic behaviors, especially from their parents. The malicious traits will be inherited by the child either as a defensive method or as an admiration. However, not all children of narcissistic parents will become a narcissist but will exhibit some traits and patterns of narcissists.   Although most of the children who were raised by narcissists will have maladaptive traits, some survivors evolve within to become virtuous characters too. So, delve into the article to know more about how these children of narcissistic parents will transform to be in the future.   How do narcissistic parents want their children to be?   Even if they are their children, the narcissist will always look down on other people and strive to manipulate or control them to feel entitled. A narcissistic parent will treat their child in such a way that the child will feel emotionally empty and find it difficult to be stimulated. In the hands of narcissists, the child is unlikely to experience true love and affection.   In reality, the child may be harmed psychologically, physically, and emotionally, and may grow to be submissive to their toxic parents, which is exactly what the narcissist desires.   Narcissistic parents want their children to be submissive, give validation, and meet up with their needs and expectations while having no self-worth or boundaries of their own. If the children try to act on their wishes, the narcissistic parent will become enraged and abusive as a result of their refusal to surrender to them.   How do children of narcissists become in the future?   In constant exposure to the traits of narcissistic parents, a child will probably experience post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anxieties, self-doubts, trust issues, and others.  This causes the child to become lonely, co-dependent, insecure, arrogant, rebellious, or even a narcissist as a survival tactic against narcissistic parents.   The type of narcissist with whom the child grew up has an impact on their change. The character of a child is defined by the features that he or she recognizes and learns from his or her parents in order to survive the abuse.   Know about: How narcissism comes into a Kid’s life?   Lonely Soul   When narcissistic parents demand validation from their children, they seek immediate attention from them, causing the children to neglect their needs. This significantly depletes their self-importance and as a result, they have low self-confidence, self-worth, and self-esteem.   The children of narcissistic parents will grow up in a competitive mode and are often trapped in a triangulation between either the siblings or another parent. They can never let you share love or affection with them and trap you in the triangulation to meet their needs.   Furthermore, narcissists will refuse to provide credit for the child’s accomplishments and may even put the child’s goals on hold in order to keep the youngster emotionally imprisoned. This makes the child feel suffocated and neglected for wanting to be happy about his/her accomplishments. They indeed have the audacity to grab away the kid’s freedom and will probably neglect the kid if he or she does not meet their needs. As a result, the child of narcissistic parents will go solitary, depressed, hopeless, silent, introverted, and miserable. Codependency is equal to submission   The narcissists teach their children to be reliant on them by completing all of the work ahead of time (even if it isn’t required) and then criticizing them for not doing anything. Subsequently, they would never give the freedom to be happy with friends or relations. As a result, the child will become co-dependent and will seek permission before making any modest decisions.   The narcissistic parent will also belittle the hard work, manipulate to divert the kid from achieving, or act dissatisfied just to make the child feel not good enough. Thus the self-doubt-filled child will be pleased or inclined toward the narcissists’ wish to not disappoint them. Have you ever experienced narcissistic abuse or currently experiencing one? Are you struggling to vent about that to anyone? Remember that venting to somebody who listens to you is the first step to healing. So, register here and vent to a listener who understands you. Insecure and attention-seeking   Narcissists do not instill moral ideals in their children because they are uninterested in personal development. Instead, the narcissist will exaggerate their physical appearance and make the child feel insecure about his/her body.   As a result, the kid will develop a lack of self-confidence in his or her physique, leading to seeking assurance from others. Yes, inflating their physical appearance in front of a child can lead to self-criticizing and feeling insecure. In such a way, the children will often be found engaged with their physical appearance and seek validation for approval.   Arrogant as a Malignant   Some children of narcissistic parents are found to be more extroverted, arrogant, and have inflated self-esteem. They exhibit perfectionism due to their narcissistic parents’ undying expectations and disappointments. This drives more anxiety, leading them to be more arrogant with other people. Such kids are mostly raised by malignant narcissists who are extremely violent and rude towards the child. The child…

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