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July 27, 2024

UDANTE

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Dante

A content creator who wishes to enlighten someone every day.

Vector image of narcissistic parents scolding a kid

Life of Children with Narcissistic Parents

Dante116 mins

A child under the parenting of narcissists goes through a lot emotionally and physically. Any kid is less likely to know or recognize the toxicity of their parents and tends to experience pain, self-doubts, gaslights, abuse, etc., throughout their childhood. Now, let’s see how these children raised by narcissistic parents evolve as a character in the future.   Parenting plays a vital role in personality development for a kid to set a solid character in the next phase of their lives. Countless studies are here to prove the relationship between parenting and a kid’s character development. It’s what decides how the child evolves to become a virtuous person or not. Children of narcissistic parents, on the other hand, have a difficult time growing up and are more likely to get PTSD or become narcissists themselves.   It must be hurtful to see children possessing narcissistic behaviors, especially from their parents. The malicious traits will be inherited by the child either as a defensive method or as an admiration. However, not all children of narcissistic parents will become a narcissist but will exhibit some traits and patterns of narcissists.   Although most of the children who were raised by narcissists will have maladaptive traits, some survivors evolve within to become virtuous characters too. So, delve into the article to know more about how these children of narcissistic parents will transform to be in the future.   How do narcissistic parents want their children to be?   Even if they are their children, the narcissist will always look down on other people and strive to manipulate or control them to feel entitled. A narcissistic parent will treat their child in such a way that the child will feel emotionally empty and find it difficult to be stimulated. In the hands of narcissists, the child is unlikely to experience true love and affection.   In reality, the child may be harmed psychologically, physically, and emotionally, and may grow to be submissive to their toxic parents, which is exactly what the narcissist desires.   Narcissistic parents want their children to be submissive, give validation, and meet up with their needs and expectations while having no self-worth or boundaries of their own. If the children try to act on their wishes, the narcissistic parent will become enraged and abusive as a result of their refusal to surrender to them.   How do children of narcissists become in the future?   In constant exposure to the traits of narcissistic parents, a child will probably experience post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anxieties, self-doubts, trust issues, and others.  This causes the child to become lonely, co-dependent, insecure, arrogant, rebellious, or even a narcissist as a survival tactic against narcissistic parents.   The type of narcissist with whom the child grew up has an impact on their change. The character of a child is defined by the features that he or she recognizes and learns from his or her parents in order to survive the abuse.   Know about: How narcissism comes into a Kid’s life?   Lonely Soul   When narcissistic parents demand validation from their children, they seek immediate attention from them, causing the children to neglect their needs. This significantly depletes their self-importance and as a result, they have low self-confidence, self-worth, and self-esteem.   The children of narcissistic parents will grow up in a competitive mode and are often trapped in a triangulation between either the siblings or another parent. They can never let you share love or affection with them and trap you in the triangulation to meet their needs.   Furthermore, narcissists will refuse to provide credit for the child’s accomplishments and may even put the child’s goals on hold in order to keep the youngster emotionally imprisoned. This makes the child feel suffocated and neglected for wanting to be happy about his/her accomplishments. They indeed have the audacity to grab away the kid’s freedom and will probably neglect the kid if he or she does not meet their needs. As a result, the child of narcissistic parents will go solitary, depressed, hopeless, silent, introverted, and miserable. Codependency is equal to submission   The narcissists teach their children to be reliant on them by completing all of the work ahead of time (even if it isn’t required) and then criticizing them for not doing anything. Subsequently, they would never give the freedom to be happy with friends or relations. As a result, the child will become co-dependent and will seek permission before making any modest decisions.   The narcissistic parent will also belittle the hard work, manipulate to divert the kid from achieving, or act dissatisfied just to make the child feel not good enough. Thus the self-doubt-filled child will be pleased or inclined toward the narcissists’ wish to not disappoint them. Have you ever experienced narcissistic abuse or currently experiencing one? Are you struggling to vent about that to anyone? Remember that venting to somebody who listens to you is the first step to healing. So, register here and vent to a listener who understands you. Insecure and attention-seeking   Narcissists do not instill moral ideals in their children because they are uninterested in personal development. Instead, the narcissist will exaggerate their physical appearance and make the child feel insecure about his/her body.   As a result, the kid will develop a lack of self-confidence in his or her physique, leading to seeking assurance from others. Yes, inflating their physical appearance in front of a child can lead to self-criticizing and feeling insecure. In such a way, the children will often be found engaged with their physical appearance and seek validation for approval.   Arrogant as a Malignant   Some children of narcissistic parents are found to be more extroverted, arrogant, and have inflated self-esteem. They exhibit perfectionism due to their narcissistic parents’ undying expectations and disappointments. This drives more anxiety, leading them to be more arrogant with other people. Such kids are mostly raised by malignant narcissists who are extremely violent and rude towards the child. The child…

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narcissists will treat their friends with evil mindset

How bad do narcissists treat their Friends?

Dante015 mins

Have you ever stumbled upon a friend who acts in a way that hurts you and your mental health? If yes, you are probably having a friend who is a narcissist. Let’s find out more about how narcissists treat their friends and ruin their lives.   A good friendship is one that is supportive, respects one’s boundaries, and has a good understanding. If we are about to take the wrong path, a friend must care for our lives and advise us not to take that path. Good friends will always strive to grow with their friends in order to develop integrity and an appropriate environment. Contrarily, narcissistic friends would treat their friends in a way that is toxic, abusive, and mentally exhaustive.   Adding friendships in your life should be a confidence booster, stress reliever, help at tough times, and make a healthy lifestyle. However, if your friend has a narcissistic personality disorder or narcissistic traits, the friendship will not be as healthy as you hoped. A narcissistic friend will use various abusive patterns to devalue, control, and gain superiority. How do Narcissists treat their Friends?   Narcissists appear to be adept at friendships, yet they tend to reflect their malevolent conduct onto their friends. The friend will eventually see that the narcissist is becoming more jealous, denigrating, abusive, and gossiping. Narcissists would treat their friends in such a way that they damage their positive qualities and devastate their mental health. Jealousy   Narcissists are often envious of their friends’ abilities, personalities, assets, relationships, and accomplishments. They want to be the center of attention in any event, even if their friends are the ones who deserve it. This is why narcissists want to always be superior to their friends.   To be superior, the narcissist either strives to acquire more than what their friends have or tries to exploit the friends to make less than them. In this manner, narcissistic friendship will always stay competitive. The narcissists fantasize that the potential of their friends suppresses their self-loathing mentality and work hard to be more successful to retain their self-esteem.   Devalues   Narcissists are experts at devaluing their victims but, will the narcissist devalue their friends? Without a doubt, narcissists will try to devalue every person they are close with to not let down their self-esteem behavior. Narcissists are ungrateful and empathyless beings who can intentionally devalue their comrades just to fill up their grandiose sense of entitlement.   A friend who is a narcissist doesn’t care about your success and achievement. Instead, he/she chooses to devalue you to lower your self-worth and pride. “It’s your right to be proud of your hard work and achievement” even though the narcissists don’t like it.   Your narcissist friend may say things like these to devalue you, “I’m so happy for your success, what a luck” “My friend is the luckiest one to achieve this” “If it wasn’t my help that day, you probably wouldn’t have won this” Blame shifts   We know that narcissists don’t take responsibility for their actions and blame shifts on others to hide them. The same happens in a narcissistic friendship. The narcissist will consciously tease or blatantly expose the insecurities and flaws of their friends in the name of sarcasm. If the friend reacts to it, the narcissist will effortlessly gaslight you by shifting the blame saying “you can’t even take a joke” or “you have no sense of humor”.   You can never confront a narcissist for their malicious behavior as they are capable of easily guilt tripping or blame shifting you.   Must Read: Getting discarded vs Going No Contact, which is better? Be Abusive   A narcissistic friendship can be as abusive as any narcissistic relationship. Yes, just being a friend of yours, the narcissists are capable of abusing you. A narcissistic friend can hurt you in a variety of ways, including cutting off your Friend Circle, destroying your Relationship, using you as a flying monkey, creating intimacy in a friendship, and trapping you in friends with benefits.   It’s difficult to get away from a narcissist even if they are just a friend of yours. Threaten or Blackmail   Ever your narcissistic friend blackmailed you to not expose them? A narcissist will always gather information discreetly and take note of all their friends’ vulnerabilities or insecurities. In such a way, they can use them as a threatening weapon to restrict or control your actions.   For example, if you are about to reveal your narcissistic friend’s cheating activities to his or her spouse, who is also a friend, the narcissist will use your vulnerabilities as a trump card to blackmail you and prevent you from protecting the victim. They may say,   “If you say about this to my spouse, I’ll open about your parents’ miserable lives to the public” or “If you want to snitch about me, I’ll leak your wardrobe malfunction pics of you that I took on that day”   Have you ever experienced narcissistic abuse or currently experiencing one? Are you struggling to vent about that to anyone? Remember that venting to somebody who listens to you is the first step to healing. So, register here and vent to a listener who understands you. Faked Remorse   Narcissists never feel guilty or remorse for their actions. Their self-pride will never let them acknowledge the mistake and genuinely ask for an apology. Even if they apologize, they give an apology that is self-centric and gaslighting. For example, “I’m sorry that you feel that way”, “I never meant to hurt you”, etc.   A narcissist’s apology is entirely contrived and will simply be utilized as a hoovering tactic. After apologizing, the narcissist expects the friend to forget the narcissist’s error and accept them immediately. They expect the friend to swiftly break the boundary and accept the narcissist, regardless of how bad the mistake is.   If you refuse to accept your narcissistic friend’s apologies, he or she will depict you as heartless, mean, and rude…

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Featured image of how to deal with narcissistic enabler parent and narcissistic enablers

How to deal with hurtful narcissistic enablers and enabler parents?

Dante2217 mins

As we know the types of people who become narcissistic enablers, let us delve into the information of how to deal with narcissistic enablers, especially to deal with parents who are narcissistic enablers.   The narcissistic enablers are the one who enhances the malicious traits in the narcissist by the means of overvaluation, attention-giving, and other narcissistic supply, worsening the abuse even more. The enablers of narcissists can have a pleasing, convincing, gossiping, empathizing, flying monkey, or even narcissistic personality that enables the narcissistic traits in others. Throughout your life, you may encounter a narcissistic enabler parent, sibling, friend, lover, or coworker who needs to be dealt with.   Enablers of narcissists are either persuaded by the narcissists or are aware of their characteristics and choose to support them. Either way, it is best to avoid the narcissistic enablers as equal to the narcissists as they can bring harm to your lifestyle. So, let’s delve in to see how narcissistic enablers are directed to hurt the victim and the ways to deal with them.   How do Narcissistic Enablers hurt you?   Not only the narcissists, but the narcissistic enablers can also hurt the victim by hoovering, manipulating, aiding smear campaigns, spreading gossip, and devaluing them in order to keep them in the relationship. Whether the behavior is deliberate or not, the victim is always harmed by the narcissist enablers.   For example, if a father is a narcissist and his wife is a narcissistic enabler who is unaware of her husband’s narcissistic personality, she will support, validate, and allow him to abuse their children. Furthermore, the narcissistic father can easily persuade the enabler mother to not support their children.   She might say, “Your father beats you to raise you right” “Parents always do things for their children” “Never raise your voice against your father like that” “It’s a shame that you were our kid” “You will never be like your father”   In fact, the narcissistic enabler mother would prioritize the narcissist more than for her kids. In this way, the kids are pulled into a childhood trauma by their own parents.   Related: How do Parents originate narcissism in Kids?   A narcissist’s enabler is someone who is lonely and yearns for love and relationships. As a result, even the smallest amount of attention from a narcissist astounds them and causes them to surrender to the narcissist. Enablers for narcissists are a great source of supply as well as a primary tool for abusing the victim.   How to deal with the Narcissistic Enablers?   “A narcissistic enabler can be as dangerous and abusive as the narcissists”, say psychologists. A narcissist may use enablers as a flying monkey to hoover or Triangulate in order to gain control or to conduct smear campaigns and physical abuse on the victim. As with narcissists, one must exercise greater caution around narcissistic enablers too. Dealing with them as if they were the narcissist is the best way to protect yourself.   Understand that the enablers are maneuvered Do not quarrel Answer in an uninterested way Disengage with them Invite trustable people into your life Build Boundaries Go no contact with both the narcissist and the enabler are some of the crucial ways to deal with a narcissistic enabler. Understand that the enablers are maneuvered   In the name of love, trust, or acting like a victim, narcissists manipulate narcissistic enablers in order to gain control over them and abuse the victim. Understanding this helps us to avoid the consequences or be prepared to deal with them. Do not Quarrel   Picking a fight with a narcissist or a narcissistic enabler is a risky move that can quickly backfire. They can easily turn the situation around by gaslighting you or domineering you by abusing you more than usual. So, always try to stay calm and analyze the situation thoroughly.   Know about: How to support Children raised by narcissists?   Answer in an uninterested way   The enablers of narcissists speak to you in a way that causes you to overreact and respond abruptly. They do this on purpose to find a reason to fight you or destabilize your mental health. So, even if it hurts you, don’t give them what they want; instead, act uninterested and respond in simple words. Disengage with them   Disengaging physically and mentally from a narcissist or narcissist enabler allows you to focus on your life and maintain social connections. Relationships with narcissistic enablers can feel addictive, so try to rehab your mind and prepare yourself to abandon the relationship. Limit your meetings, chats, and friendships with the narcissistic enabler. Keep yourself busy so that you can limit your access to narcissistic abuse and successfully disengage them.   Note: If you are trapped between a narcissist and enablers,  We encourage you to use our Comment section to Vent out your emotions.   Have you ever experienced narcissistic abuse or currently experiencing one? Are you struggling to vent about that to anyone? Remember that venting to somebody who listens to you is the first step to healing. So, register here and vent to a listener who understands you. Invite trustable people into your life   Distancing yourself from narcissistic enablers also allows you to form new social bonds. Take advantage of this opportunity to meet trustworthy people and have them close by to support you. Prioritizing such people makes the narcissistic enablers feel less valuable, which may leave you feeling at ease. Build Boundaries   Boundaries are more important than ever in order to maintain healthy relationships. It’s not just for narcissists; it’s for everyone with a toxic personality. As a result, create boundaries that no one will be able to breach to harm you. If they cross your boundaries, develop the courage to say ‘No.’ Prefer your mental health over anything else, and you’ll be less likely to be exploited by narcissistic enablers. Go No Contact   Should I go no contact with the narcissistic…

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Going No contact is better than getting discarded

Why Going No contact is Better than getting Discarded with a Narcissist?

Dante015 mins

Here is an argument that goes on within the narcissistic victim communities. “Which type of leaving a narcissist is better? Whether the victim of narcissistic abuse being discarded, or going no-contact with the narcissist?”.   Narcissistic abuse is a pattern of malicious acts followed by narcissists to hurt the victims. The pattern of abuse includes love-bombing, gaslighting, discarding, hoovering, etc. Any victim trapped in the narcissistic abusive cycle is most likely to suffer both mentally and physically. So, the best option to get rid of the narcissist from your life is to sever the narcissistic bond by either getting discarded or going no contact.   Leaving the narcissist is our ultimate goal to escape from the abuse, emotional damage, and suffering. However, it doesn’t come that easy, right? We have to go through more emotional rollercoasters, depression, anxiety, discomfort, and after-effects of leaving the narcissists. But if you did leave the narcissist after all the struggles, there lies peace.   “Getting discarded by the narcissist or going no contact, which is better?” is a complicated topic as both of the methods have struggles to face before and after leaving the narcissist. Let’s see the things that might happen in both ways of leaving a narcissist, and decide which is better at last.   Does Narcissist discarding more hurtful than going no contact?   The answer is yes. During narcissistic discarding, you will not be aware of the fact that the abuser is a narcissist. So, it will be hurtful, traumatic, and exhausting when discarded by the person you love. You might also be filled with sorrow, self-doubts, and hurt yourself for not fulfilling the narcissist.   Getting discarded is the most common thing that every victim experiences in narcissistic abuse. Narcissists discard you when they are bored of their victim or have found a new supply for validation and attention. From a record, about 20 million people in the US were diagnosed with a narcissistic personality disorder. On average, each narcissist can exploit 5 people in their life through narcissistic abuse. So, about 100 million people were suffering from narcissistic abuse in the US alone. From that, only a few were able to find the narcissistic traits of their loved ones. Although they have found out, only a few managed to go no contact with the narcissists successfully.   So, if you are being discarded by the narcissist, you are not alone. Although getting discarded is hurtful, there are some pros that come along with it.   If they didn’t discard, you would have stayed longer   Discarding is a manipulative tactic to hurt the victim. It always comes after the love-bombing phase of the abusive pattern. Since you have become obsessed with the narcissist, the discard will be more effective at those times. It’s not just an obsession, but the love you gave, the fear of losing a relationship, and the confusion of why the narcissist acts like this make you stick with them.   So, on the verge of solving this, you endure narcissistic abuse again and again. Furthermore, the victims sometimes intentionally get trapped in narcissistic abuse wishing the abuser would change. Pleasing a narcissist to change is not possible and without knowing that, one cannot break the narcissistic bond unless the narcissist discards you.   Will the narcissist come back after discarding me?   Narcissists will probably come back to the victims after discarding when they cannot find an alternative source of supply or the new supply failed to provide enough. The narcissists try to hoover you by love bombing or other manipulative tactics. So, if you are regretting the narcissistic discard, you are more likely to fall into narcissistic abuse again.   On the other hand, if you managed to figure out the abuser to be a narcissist, you have the chance to deal with the narcissist and make them finally discard you for peace.   Will the narcissist discard you forever?   The narcissists may discard you and never come back if they gain a surplus amount of narcissistic supply from the other victims. But the narcissist will eternally stalk, or keep track of you by any means to not lose control over you. They do not want the victim to move on from the relationship even when the narcissist shifts to another victim.   How to make the narcissist discard you forever?   When the narcissist discards you to hurt, it is tough for the victim to disengage with the narcissistic relationship. However, if you find out about the narcissist and dealt with them right, the narcissist might discard and leave you forever. So, follow these steps to make the narcissist discard you and never come back.  Do not react Give an emotionless answer Act bored and talk in an uninteresting way Have an understanding friend by your side Prioritize any things above the narcissist Say ‘No’ if you have to Ignore or move away if they pick a fight with you Following these steps will make the narcissist aware of the fact that you have figured them out and might leave you forever.   Give a Read: Are you an enabler of a narcissist? Check it   Getting Discarded saves you from Narcissistic Rage   If you go No Contact, especially with the covert or malignant narcissist, they see you as a threat as you might expose them. This makes them enrage and conduct smear campaigns or be more violent towards you, causing a backfire.    So, getting discarded by the narcissist seems safer and more effective in situations like this.   How does No Contact be better than getting discarded by the narcissist?   No Contact is a conscious act of a victim to completely sever the bond with the narcissist. Going No contact includes blocking the narcissist from the contacts, leaving from the place of a narcissist, migrating to another city to cut off the connection with the narcissist & flying monkeys, and even abandoning a family. To go…

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Triangulation

How does Narcissistic Triangulation work?

Dante126 mins

Narcissists follow various tactics to trap the victims in the abusive cycle. Among that, Narcissistic triangulation is a crucial and covert tactic that narcissists play on a victim. The answers to the questions, why do narcissists triangulate? and how does narcissistic triangulation affect the victim in different circumstances? will be stated clearly in this article.   Narcissism is a dark triad personality that has the ability to harm people in both emotional and physical ways. The one who possesses this personality can be more exotic and noxious seeking to exploit others’ lives. Narcissistic triangulation is one of the tactics narcissists use to damage the victim. It is difficult to diagnose a person with narcissism. So, it is advisable to limit or avoid having any relationship with narcissists.   What is Narcissistic Triangulation? Narcissistic triangulation is a crucial and covert activity to trap the victim in the narcissistic abuse by bringing a third unknown or lesser-known person into the relationship. The third person does not necessarily be the victim of the narcissist and still somehow gets included in the triangulation. The narcissistic triangulation is also called the “divide and conquer” method.  Narcissistic Triangulation may occur within Love, Family, colleagues and Friends which can be more abusive and damaging than any emotional manipulation.   Why do narcissists triangulate you? The narcissists deliberately triangulate you with another person to Gain control over you Drive you to chase them Make you feel insecure Trigger chaos between the two Thus, restoring the sense of entitlement and superiority, i.e., narcissistic supply.   How do narcissists use the triangulation tactic? The narcissist will limit or give no authority to have a conversation with the third person in the triangulation. They keep this distance as a precautionary method to avoid getting exposed and control you easily. Meanwhile, trying to have contact with the other person in the narcissistic triangulation enrages the narcissists and abuses you abruptly. Narcissists use triangulation tactics to play abusive patterns like manipulation, love-bombing, Ghosting, and gaslighting over the victim in the relationship. The triangulation tactics of the narcissist on a victim differ when the circumstances they are in charge. Whether it may be a narcissistic love, narcissistic family, workplace, or friendships, they play different tactics to obtain different narcissistic supplies from the relationship. Let’s see the triangulation tactics used on different sequences by narcissists with examples.   Narcissistic Triangulation Across Various Platforms As stated above, narcissists conduct their narcissistic triangulation differently based on the circumstances. Narcissists find the triangulation technique as a big drama stage and they have the tendency to act on it perfectly as they wish. They can maneuver the victim or both the victims through triangulation and control them as they wish. The way they control and abuse the victim is what differs in situations. Let’s see how they triangulate the victim across various situations with an example for each. The narcissistic triangulation will possibly happen within Narcissistic love Narcissistic Family Narcissistic Workplace Narcissistic Friendships   Narcissistic Love Triangulation: “Hideous and covert” Love and intimacy are what make you obsessed with the narcissist. You value every word, sex, love, fun, and care you have shared with your partner(narcissist). But, on the flip side, narcissists see you as a mere pawn that can be controlled and sacrificed when they want. The triangulation in narcissistic love includes another person who is more likely to be the narcissist’s friend, secret partner, or ex. The ultimate target for a narcissistic triangulation in love is to make you feel insecure and admit that the narcissist does not deserve you. So, they include this person in the relationship and always bring them in normal chats to make you feel envious of them. The narcissist might not blatantly compare you both, but constantly bringing them into the conversation can make you insecure. The other person is probably secretive and does not interact much with you in the triangulation. Narcissist just wants you to feel like you are nothing special for them as they have other better options. But there are possibilities where the narcissist does not even have any contact with the other person and simply uses them for triangulating you. In case you start to become aware of their triangulation tactic, or try to communicate with the other person, the narcissist will gaslight, give the silent treatment, or abuse you for trying to unlock the truth.   Example of Narcissistic love triangulation Let’s assume you are a male, who is in love with the narc (N)(female), N introduces a new persona B(male) into the relationship. The N always try to speak about the new guy with you by saying things like, “He was better at doing this, you know?” “I remember his voice which I used to love the most” “His shoulders are much broader than this movie character” “He knows a lot about sex” “I love your smell, but his smell is something unique to forgot” “You can’t handle your emotions like my previous boyfriend” “This place reminds me of him” If you ask the N to stop mentioning B, the N responds with something like “Are you doubting me?”, “why are you feeling insecure?”, “I’m just mentioning about him, not comparing with you”, or giving silent treatment for interfering with the N’s triangulation.   Recommended Read: Only these people can make narcissistic love long-lasting   Triangulation in Narcissistic Families: “Deceiving, Manipulative, and family divider” In a narcissistic family, there are possibilities for any one of the parents or both of them to be narcissists. Having a narcissistic parent might be upsetting when you realize all the love and care given by them has a selfish intent followed by narcissistic abuse. You grew up around them without even a single idea about narcissism and now, you are mature to see your true self after all the agony. Triangulation in the narcissistic family does not need to have an unknown persona and can be your sibling, parent, relative, or family friend. In the family triangulation scenario,…

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Toxic friendship

A Narcissistic Friendship is as hurtful as any Narcissistic Relationship

Dante018 mins

How does it feel like to be in a narcissistic friendship? Having a friendship with a narcissist can also be conniving, abusive, toxic, hurtful as any narcissistic relationship. When the bond gets stronger, one might experience similar abusive patterns as in other narcissistic relationships.   Narcissists are self-centric with high self-esteem and an elevated sense of entitlement. To feel entitled, they seek immense validation and attention from people around them. To get a non-stop validation supply, they develop relationships with people around them and choose to play with their emotions. They follow harmful tactics from the narcissistic abusive patterns to feel the power to control others.   Yes, narcissists don’t see anyone as a friend, acquaintance, partner, or family, but as a mere source of supply to fill their needs. So, if you think you are having a good friendship with a narcissist, you’re not.   How can a narcissist have so many friends?   Narcissists can develop friendships with many people in a short time as they have the ability to exhibit themselves as having good social skills, being attractive, and possessing similar interests with others. Although these aspects may be falsely showcased by narcissists, people find them charming and engaging at the first sight.   Narcissists look more social with others, but they share personal info only if it meets their agenda. However, these friendships cannot stay longer once the narcissists’ traits come to the public’s eyes.    What is a narcissistic friend?   A narcissistic friend is one who possesses the narcissistic trait or is diagnosed to have a narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). He/she has malicious tactics like gaslighting, manipulating, abusive, etc., and often end up ruining the friendship. It is advised to not have a stronger friendship bond with the narcissists.   How to indicate a narcissistic friend?   Narcissistic friendship will be more vicious when the bond gets stronger. So, it is better to figure them out earlier. So, look out for the following traits to confirm your friend is a narcissist.   They always seek attention and validation Will insult you in a group but doesn’t like to be insulted Always gossips about others’ personal life Wants to be a primary/only friend with you Won’t give up an argument until they win Doesn’t appreciate or give credit for your success Flirts with you even if they are in a relationship Always justify their action Reminds you of what they have done for you are the things you should note if you doubt that your friend is a narcissist.   Who can have a friendship with narcissists?   Researchers say narcissists find people with similar toxic personalities interesting to have friendships with. They are attracted to the people who are similar to them in their main personality domains. With such people, narcissists can have a friendship that goes for a long period although it is toxic enough. This case is applicable when the narcissistic friendship is moderate.   When the narcissistic friendship becomes closer, it is more likely to end soon unless the victim is submissive, pleasing, and has other weak personalities.   Give a Read: Types of people who stay longer with the narcissists   How are narcissists hurtful in friendships?   Narcissists are always jealous of others even though they have plenty of resources to be happy. They envy our credibility, ability to have a healthy relationship, and social skills with others. A narcissistic friend wants you to give all your good abilities to them with nothing in return. This is why you always feel exhausted with a narcissistic friend.   As we stated before, narcissistic friendships turn hurtful when the bond becomes closer. Similar to any narcissistic relationship, a friend will also possibly undergo the abusive pattern with a narcissist. The common malicious acts a narcissist will do to you are   Cuts your Friend Circle Ruin your Relationship Use you as a flying monkey tool Develop intimacy in a friendship Trap you in friends with benefits   Cuts friend circle   Narcissists are always conscious of not being exposed. So, they want their victims to avoid venting to others about what they are going through. When the toxic traits of the narcissist get exposed to the public, the fantasy of living entitled forever comes to an end. This is an absolute nightmare to the narcissists which leads to narcissistic rage and being more abusive towards the victim.   So, narcissists always want the friends of victims out of the narcissistic bond. To do that, firstly, they compare the victim with his/her friends to make the victim feel insecure. As a result, the victim starts diminishing the friend circle and is finally cut off.   Ruining relationships   As stated before, narcissists envy others’ belongings. It can be an extrinsic resource, skills, personality, relationship, and whatnot. They fantasize that they are the ones who deserve to have those, else, not the victim. So, they seek to exploit the relationship by bombarding with hate comments, criticizing the relationship, spreading rumors, and even going to an extent to make the friend’s partners theirs. Narcissists are great risk-takers and that is why they go to any extent to acquire what they want.   Give a Read: Risk-taking Narcissists are more successful in careers.   Use as a flying monkey   The right question is, how do narcissists use their friends? Narcissists are very fond of gossip and conducting smear campaigns over others. So, they use friendships as a tool to spread gossip or conduct smear campaigns to ruin the credibility of the victim. Additionally, they also use friends as a flying monkey to hoover back or gaslight the victim.    As a friend, you might be not aware of being a flying monkey to the narcissist, instead, thinking that you are actually helping them. Apart from that, there are chances that the narcissist’s friend also has a toxic personality (or maybe a narcissist too). In such cases, the flying monkeys intentionally hurt or gaslight…

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Enabling the narcissist

What are the traits of Narcissistic Enablers? Check if you are a One

Dante014 mins

Narcissistic enablers are the one who enables or boosts the dark triad traits in the narcissists by providing a surplus amount of validation and attention that a narcissist needs. This narcissistic supply triggers narcissism in a person and becomes more noxious in time. Check out the article to know more about the traits of narcissistic enablers.   A person with a narcissistic tendency looks out to exploit others emotionally, physically or both to feel entitled among others. They are self-centered with high self-esteem who abuse regardless of family, friends, or partners. The narcissism in a person gets strong when they are motivated to expose their traits. This is what enablers do, they provide the narcissistic supply that motivates the narcissists to play with the emotions of the victims. So a clear understanding of the traits of narcissistic enablers is required to protect ourselves.   Often, victims of narcissists are the ones who become the enabler of narcissism. Although, in some cases, enablers can be a non-victim who can be mother, dad, sister, brother, partner, friends, relatives, or anyone. Are you doubting yourself to be a narcissistic enabler? Proceed further. Why do people become enablers of narcissists?   One can become an enabler of a narcissist for various reasons including lack of self-worth, no boundaries, less empathy, wrong parenting, fear of disapproval. In most cases, such enablers are not aware of them being the source for narcissists. The narcissistic enablers play a vital role in a narcissist’s life to be more abusive with their victim.   Personalities that are great narcissistic enablers   Of course, victims of narcissists will typically have kind, empathetic, and loveable personalities. However, the key personalities that enable narcissism in narcissists are pleasers Believers of change Gossipers Narcissists flying monkeys Empathizers These personalities become narcissistic enablers, with or without intention to boost the narcissists. Let’s look at how these personalities enable narcissists. Pleasers   Pleasers are the kind of people who are way too nice to others, especially when it comes to their loved ones. When pleasers are in a relationship with a narcissist, they idealize the narcissist as superior and ready to lose self-worth, boundaries, or anything you name. They are desperate to have a relationship or to save it; For that, they are ready to lose anything, even mental stability.   People with the pleasing mentality become a prominent source for a narcissist. The reason behind that is, they constantly validate, give attention, and serve wasteful appraisals to make the narcissists feel entitled. This enables the narcissists to reveal more traits to abuse their victims endlessly.   Do narcissistic enablers ever see the truth? Narcissistic enablers often know about the narcissistic traits and choose to ignore them. They do not want to give up a relationship that does not exist in the first place. Consequently, they are prepared to go through any abuse to conserve the relationship. Believers of change   On the verge of losing the bond, relationship, or marriage, some people stick to the narcissists believing that they could change them. Narcissists cannot be changed without personal growth and talk therapy. But these people get enmeshed within the narcissistic abuse cycle trying to change the narcissist.   While fantasizing about changing the narcissists, these people give extravagant attention and support to the narcissists. They validate the narcissist’s actions and justify their actions. This enables narcissism in the narcissists to abuse more.   Pleasers or believers of change, are the kind of personalities that have the potential to stay longer in an abusive narcissistic relationship.   Give a Read: Who can make the narcissistic relationship work for a long time? Gossipers   Gossipers are either toxic or ignorant. They do not consider the aftereffects of the gossip that could ruin anyone’s credibility. Narcissists use gossipers as a great tool to smear campaigns against the victim. In some cases, the gossipers themselves are narcissists and love to spread false rumors just to ruin someone’s image or get some attention. Narcissists   Can a narcissist be an enabler too? Following the previous hypothesis, yes, narcissistic enablers can be a narcissist only when they are in bond with each other. For example, a narcissistic mother over validates her narcissistic kid and that enables narcissism. In a relationship, the partner with the less dominant narcissistic personality becomes an enabler of the narcissist.   For instance, covert narcissists portray themselves to be weak as a manipulative tactic and praise their partner for their ability to do things. So, when the other partner is also revealed to be a narcissist, but with malevolent traits; He/she tends to be more dominant than the covert narcissist. Thus, the covert narcissist becomes the narcissist enabler in the relationship. Flying Monkeys   Flying monkeys are the people who the narcissists sent against you to hoover again into the abuse. The flying monkeys are great supporters of narcissists and believe every word of narcissists to be true. Narcissists use the flying monkeys to validate their actions as well as hoover back the victim. Flying monkeys blindly believe the narcissist’s manipulations as a great caretaker, leader, survivor and go against the victims to support the narcissists. Flying monkeys are the great narcissistic enablers who fill the needs of the narcissistic supply and help to enable the abusive cycle over the victim. Empathizers   Almost every victim of the narcissists was a great empathizer and fell right into the narcissistic trap. Some wake up realizing the abuse and trauma, whereas, others choose to stick with the narcissistic abusive cycle. Thus, becoming the enabler of narcissism by empathizing with the narcissists and helping them emotionally.   The narcissists, when justifying the malicious actions with the childhood trauma, the empathizers accept the justification and continue to love them by lowering their self-worth. In such a way, empathizers become enablers by giving them the freedom to take advantage of them.   Followed by the manipulation, the narcissists gaslight the victims cause extreme self-doubt that led to thinking of themselves…

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Am I a Narcissist? Banner

Am I a narcissist in a Relationship? 7 Reasons you’re not

Dante016 mins

For the most part, you are not the narcissist in a relationship if you think you are one. However, to check that, you must confirm things that you did in the past or do right now. This article will ensure you get that done effectively.   Firstly and foremostly, does a narcissist know they are the narcissist in the relationship? A study shows that narcissists do have insights into their narcissistic personality traits. Their self-pride, lack of empathy, and high self-esteem choose to ignore the flaws and be proud of them. So, if you are the one who does not want to be a narcissist but highly doubts “am I a narcissist” in the relationship, you’re not. To assure that, proceed further into this article.   Why do I feel like I am a narcissist?   Narcissists are good manipulators and gas lighters who can manipulate people or things in a way that their actions do not affect their credibility among others. So, narcissists gaslight you before you even have an idea of accusing them of their actions. This makes you feel that you were the reason for their actions. As a result, you have to take responsibility for a narcissist’s action, which in turn makes you feel like you’re the narcissist.   Having self-awareness, doing self-study, and taking responsibility for your actions are the things that narcissists aren’t capable of.  If you ever feel like you are a narcissist, do a self-evaluation by answering the questions below.   1. Who discarded first?   If you haven’t known about narcissism before and fell right into the narcissistic trap, you cannot be the one who discards the partner first without experiencing any abuse. The discarding is a crucial narcissistic tactic followed by every narcissist to initiate the abusive patterns.   Why do narcissists discard you? Narcissists intentionally discard you to initiate the abusive patterns in a relationship, as well as in search of another source of validation and attention. So, if you are the one thinking you are the narcissist, be sure of who initiated the abuse by discarding it. You are probably not a narcissist if you haven’t discarded it first.   2. Who constantly got hurt after every conversation?   Having a conversation with a narcissist can be exhaustive and tough. You might have heard that “A healthy conversation is a key in a relationship” But it doesn’t work in the narcissist relationship.   Why narcissistic partners cannot have a healthy conversation? Narcissists can’t have a healthy conversation as they don’t hold the accountability for their doings and blame-shift them to protect their self-pride. The lack of accountability in a narcissist causes the victims to believe the fault was theirs. This, in turn, hurts the victim at the end of every conversation with a narcissist.   So, remember, if you are the one who got hurt while being in an abusive phase, you might not be a narcissist.   Give a Read: Abusive Patterns of Narcissists   3. Who apologized at every end of a conversation?   Followed by getting hurt in a conversation with a narcissist, you might end up apologizing to them. The fear of losing the relationship and the guilt for things that you don’t need to take responsibility for will push you to apologize to the narcissist. The narcissist wants their partner to apologize to feel entitled at the end of the conversation. It is always the narcissist who will hold the upper hand in the conversation during the abusive phase of a narcissistic relationship.   Do narcissists ever apologize to their partners? Narcissists do apologize only when they feel like the victim is getting better after the abusive relationship. They use the apology as a hoovering tactic to pull the victim back into the narcissistic relationship. As their elevated self-pride does not allow them to apologize, narcissists often come up with the phrase “I’m sorry that you felt that way”, which again gaslights the victim.   So, if you have no intention to hoover your partner by apologizing but to save the relationship, you are in the good end.   4. Who doesn’t care if one of you got hurt?   Narcissists have no empathy for others, even for their partners but seek constant validation and care from empathetic people. Narcissists envy your empathy, kindness, and seek to destroy the good qualities in you. That is why narcissists abuse their partners to feel entitled for gaining the power to control others.   So, a narcissist typically ignores or takes no responsibility if their partner gets hurt, whereas others care about their partner’s emotions and mental health. This apprehends that you possess no traits of narcissism if you care about your partner.   Give a Read: 6 Types of people who make the narcissistic relationship long-lasting    5. Who separates friends and family from life?   Narcissists tend to isolate the victims from their friends and family. They want the victim to be vulnerable enough so that he/she wouldn’t reach out to someone for help or report about the abuse they’re going through.   Although not every narcissist is capable of successfully isolating you from the family, they can go far in doing such acts.   Why do narcissists isolate you from friends and family? Narcissists fear their dark triad personality getting exposed to society. They become hysterical and more abusive if they get accused of their malicious act; which is why they isolate the victim from their family and supporters. Narcissists could not bear shame and accusations as they destroy their bloated self-esteem.   Therefore, if you do not intend to separate your partner and family, stop doubting you are the narcissist in the relationship.   6. Do you care about your partner’s life?   Anyone who is in love cares for their partner’s health, mental stability, goals, and dreams. But, in the case of a narcissist, they do not care about their partner’s life. It is always about them who should have…

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Longlasting narcissistic relationship

6 types of people who make narcissistic relationships long-lasting

Dante016 mins

Narcissistic people aren’t healthy for any relationship. Their high self-esteem, grandiose sense of entitlement, self-centered behavior seek a perennial supply of valuation and attention. To acquire that, narcissists follow malevolent behaviors like abuse, manipulation, and gaslighting. But, have you ever wondered, “How can some people have a prolonged relationship with a narcissist?” Well, this article will clear that up for you.   Narcissists find attention, valuation, and admiration of others as a source to fulfill the never-ending hollow mind. If someone validates the narcissists, they visualize the person as a quality source of supply, and so, they make efforts to build a relationship with them. Thus, a narcissistic relationship will be established and the narcissist can excavate constant validation from the partner.   The one with a narcissistic personality sees attention, appraisals, controls, or other extrinsic assets as worthy. With that said, narcissists do not value their partner’s emotions, love expectations, and needs. So, it requires an immense sacrifice to have a long-lasting relationship with the narcissist.    Let’s see the types of people who will endure such abuse and sacrifices to make the narcissistic relationship work.   What types of people make the narcissistic relationship work?   Being married or having any relationship with a narcissist or can be exhaustive and abusive. You cannot follow your dreams, be happy with others, or have personal growth with a narcissist in a relationship. Instead, you will end up spending your energy and time validating them. It almost looks like you are living their life or the life how they want you to have.   The only people who can bear the constant discarding, abuse, gaslighting, and manipulation of the narcissist and expect nothing in return can be in a narcissistic relationship. There are people who indeed have traits to attract narcissists to have long-lasting relationships.   Narcissists can go picky about selecting people with such traits as being empathetic, kind, monogamous, and emotionally weak as a partner. Although it might differ, these are the people who can sustain a narcissistic relationship longer.   Healers Relationship Keepers Reputable Insecure ones Betas Dark triad personalities  are the people who are capable of bargaining their life to live in a narcissistic relationship.   1. Healers   A person who is a healer believes in changing others by showing empathy and kindness. People with a healing mentality always look for people who are insecure, hurt, and toxic to provide support and advice. Such healers are good validators, lovers and are a healthy source of supply to narcissists.   While being in a narcissistic relationship, discarding and other malicious traits will start appearing once the narcissist finds the source is not enough. Healing personality people believe in changing such traits in time by showering with love and validation. Although the relationship is abusive and blame-shifting, these types of people stick to their belief of changing a narcissist.   Can a narcissist change? It is a great dilemma; Narcissism lowers in people as their age increases. In addition to that, research suggests that a narcissist can develop the ability to show empathy while seeing things from others’ perspectives. Talk therapy can suggest some ways to lower the traits of narcissism in people if they intend to reach out for help.   However, often narcissists’ grandiosity of self-pride does not agree with changing, as they are proud of being themselves. So, unless healers accept that narcissists cannot be changed in lack of personal growth and therapy, the abusive narcissistic relationships will continue long-lasting.   2. Relationship Keepers   Some people are desperate to save a relationship from falling apart. They believe in an eternal relationship with a partner, regardless of his/her personality. Such people are the ones who value relationships more than mental health. They do not want to lose a relationship, as they waited for a long time to get one.   So, they choose to endure emotional pain, abuse, devalue and trauma bonding to get hold of the narcissistic relationship. And that explains the long-lasting relationship with narcissists.   3. Reputable   Certain people do know about their partner’s disability to have a good personality. They also might know that their partner is a narcissist but cannot take action on it by going no-contact or applying for a divorce for the sake of their reputation. Such reputable people value society’s gossip and prestige more than their personal life and decide not to sever the bond with a narcissistic partner.   Often these people have emotional instability due to the continual exposure to drama and gaslighting. To maintain their reputation, they cannot even expose or share the abusive relationship they are enduring for a long.   4. Insecure ones   When people are insecure about themselves, they settle with anyone who just accepts them. Insecure people typically think others are better than them in every aspect. So, when they fall into a narcissistic love, they visualize the narcissistic partner in a higher place.   Insecure ones do think that the narcissistic partner deserves more than them and choose to stay by their side (or it may be the effects of the manipulation of a narcissist). This gives the narcissist partner full authority and control over them. So, insecure people suffer the most in narcissistic relationships. Unless having adequate self-worth and overcoming the insecurities, undoing the narcissistic relationship is not possible.   Have you ever experienced narcissistic abuse or currently experiencing one? Are you struggling to vent about that to anyone? Remember that venting to somebody who listens to you is the first step to healing. So, register here and vent to a listener who understands you.    5. Betas   A person with a beta personality is inclusively nice, kind, and respectful. A beta person is mostly monogamous, loyal, and caring in a relationship, especially a beta man who cares more for a woman. One with such a personality wants to be the first one to help others, as they wish to be a dependable person.   A person with beta behavior…

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6 Factors that originates narcissism in Kids

Dante019 mins

People diagnosed with narcissism or who show narcissistic traits have malevolent behaviors that harm others and are self-destructive too. Witnessing kids acquire such personalities can be hurtful. Find out the different factors that originate the narcissistic behaviors in innocent kids and adolescents. So, you can avoid consequences before it’s too late.   Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) or the narcissistic traits in a person does not pop out suddenly out of nowhere. Instead, these dark triad personality traits of a narcissist are the impact of external factors that are experienced in his/her childhood.   Fortunately, psychologists suggest that narcissism can only be diagnosed in adolescents above the age of 18. This determines that the narcissistic personality slowly builds up into children and fruits as a mental illness at age of 18. So, a proper regulation in personality development must be provided to a child to evade narcissistic traits in the future.   Kids and adolescents inherit habits and personalities from society more than older people. Their mind is much focused and curious about learning something. With a constantly developing brain, children could learn things effortlessly at that age. That is why the young age sets a base for developing a personality for the child’s future.   Give a Read: How to introduce Personality Development to Kids?   Sources through narcissism steps into childhood   Narcissism includes the traits of grandiose exhibitionism, a sense of entitlement, self-importance, and high self-esteem in a person. Children with narcissistic personalities look to be selfish and competitive fellows in others’ view. These traits indeed provide abilities attached to the traits that help them to perform well in academics. So, society does appreciate such traits in kids initially without knowing narcissism.   When such personalities develop, a narcissistic individual will seek exploitation of others, entitlement, pride, and attention. He/she values any extrinsic assets other than intrinsic things like relationships and personal growth. They do not value the emotions of others and hurt others in seek of attention and control. This conniving behavior of narcissists results in self-destroying when people stop validating them.   Any person would not want a kid to get engulfed in narcissism, and that is why they should be aware of what originates these characteristics in them and avoid them sooner.   Wrong Parenting Childhood Shame Education System Lack of Personality Development Romantic Relationships Social Media are the major factors that influence the narcissistic personality in kids, teens, or adolescents. Regulating and modulating these aspects in the right way can prevent a child from falling into narcissism. 1. Wrong Parenting   Research shows that parents who are authoritative and happy develop children with optimistic and kind behavior, whereas permissive parenting leads to developing negative and malicious behavior in kids. This shows how parenting impacts the character of the kids.   A good way of parenting influences good morals, habits, and empathy in kids that helps the kid to become virtuous. Contrarily, bad parenting can cause kids to grow stressed, anxious, insecure, and other malevolent behaviors. Overvaluation, devaluation, abandonment, and narcissistic parents are the 4 main aspects of parenting styles that can develop narcissism in kids  Overvaluation   Idealization or overvaluation of a kid is that the parents think that their kids are special, precious, and deserve more attention. They think that their kids are far better than other kids and validate them often. Such parents do ignore or manipulate the flaws of the kids and tend to appreciate any behavior the kid possesses.   For instance, if a kid loses a running race, a normal parent would react like “It’s okay, the opponent was good, you can win next time in practice”. But the overvaluing parents try to maneuver the flaws of the kid by saying “You were the best, the opponent got lucky or might have cheated”.   This may look like a parent being affectionate and kind whereas it indeed creates a mindset of being special and superior in kids. In such a way the self-esteem and self-importance in kids peaks and that is the first stage to fall into narcissism. Devaluation   If parents overvalue their kids, the expectation of them increases simultaneously. Such parents praise and admire their kids when they achieve something extrinsic from which they can be proud. They see their kids as a source of prestige in society and if that fails to happen, devaluation begins.     The devaluation of kids is mostly verbal abuse, from which they hurt the child for not satisfying their expectations. They compare the kids with others, shame, and criticize repeatedly, makes the kid insecure and starve for validation. The devaluation practice mostly brings up covert narcissism in kids.     Abandonment   Giving kids the silent treatment or abandoning them will increase the longevity of affection, attachment as well as anger issues. Without any guidance from wise personas, a kid is more vulnerable to malicious acts in society. Such adolescents tend to become malignant narcissists and fall into addictive drugs and alcohol.   Give a Read: What are the Types of Narcissism?   Narcissistic Parents   When a kid grows under the dark shadow of narcissistic parents, he/she is going to experience every possible narcissistic trait and learn survival tactics through them. The chance of sinking into narcissism gets increased every day due to the constant exposure to narcissistic behaviors.   The kids might subconsciously believe that the lifestyle of their parents is what brings happiness and success. Following the same vicious path, the child slowly fell into the dark triad personality.   2. Childhood Shame   You might come across narcissists who brag about their childhood traumas. Whether the trauma is from the abuse of parents, teachers, friends, or society; narcissists use this trauma as an excuse for justifying the actions of their personality traits. However, it was not the trauma that made them possess this narcissistic personality, but the shame. In the act of hiding the shame, they perceive them as trauma to validate their actions.   The…

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