relationship

As we know the types of people who become narcissistic enablers, let us delve into the information of how to deal with narcissistic enablers, especially to deal with parents who are narcissistic enablers.   The narcissistic enablers are the one who enhances the malicious traits in the narcissist by the means of overvaluation, attention-giving, and other narcissistic supply, worsening the abuse even more. The enablers of narcissists can have a pleasing, convincing, gossiping, empathizing, flying monkey, or even narcissistic personality that enables the narcissistic traits in others. Throughout your life, you may encounter a narcissistic enabler parent, sibling, friend, lover, or coworker who needs to be dealt with.   Enablers of narcissists are either persuaded by the narcissists or are aware of their characteristics and choose to support them. Either way, it is best to avoid the narcissistic enablers as equal to the narcissists as they can bring harm to your lifestyle. So, let’s delve in to see how narcissistic enablers are directed to hurt the victim and the ways to deal with them.   How do Narcissistic Enablers hurt you?   Not only the narcissists, but the narcissistic enablers can also hurt the victim by hoovering, manipulating, aiding smear campaigns, spreading gossip, and devaluing them in order to keep them in the relationship. Whether the behavior is deliberate or not, the victim is always harmed by the narcissist enablers.   For example, if a father is a narcissist and his wife is a narcissistic enabler who is unaware of her husband’s narcissistic personality, she will support, validate, and allow him to abuse their children. Furthermore, the narcissistic father can easily persuade the enabler mother to not support their children.   She might say, “Your father beats you to raise you right” “Parents always do things for their children” “Never raise your voice against your father like that” “It’s a shame that you were our kid” “You will never be like your father”   In fact, the narcissistic enabler mother would prioritize the narcissist more than for her kids. In this way, the kids are pulled into a childhood trauma by their own parents.   Related: How do Parents originate narcissism in Kids?   A narcissist’s enabler is someone who is lonely and yearns for love and relationships. As a result, even the smallest amount of attention from a narcissist astounds them and causes them to surrender to the narcissist. Enablers for narcissists are a great source of supply as well as a primary tool for abusing the victim.   How to deal with the Narcissistic Enablers?   “A narcissistic enabler can be as dangerous and abusive as the narcissists”, say psychologists. A narcissist may use enablers as a flying monkey to hoover or Triangulate in order to gain control or to conduct smear campaigns and physical abuse on the victim. As with narcissists, one must exercise greater caution around narcissistic enablers too. Dealing with them as if they were the narcissist is the best way to protect yourself.   Understand that the enablers are maneuvered Do not quarrel Answer in an uninterested way Disengage with them Invite trustable people into your life Build Boundaries Go no contact with both the narcissist and the enabler are some of the crucial ways to deal with a narcissistic enabler. Understand that the enablers are maneuvered   In the name of love, trust, or acting like a victim, narcissists manipulate narcissistic enablers in order to gain control over them and abuse the victim. Understanding this helps us to avoid the consequences or be prepared to deal with them. Do not Quarrel   Picking a fight with a narcissist or a narcissistic enabler is a risky move that can quickly backfire. They can easily turn the situation around by gaslighting you or domineering you by abusing you more than usual. So, always try to stay calm and analyze the situation thoroughly.   Know about: How to support Children raised by narcissists?   Answer in an uninterested way   The enablers of narcissists speak to you in a way that causes you to overreact and respond abruptly. They do this on purpose to find a reason to fight you or destabilize your mental health. So, even if it hurts you, don’t give them what they want; instead, act uninterested and respond in simple words. Disengage with them   Disengaging physically and mentally from a narcissist or narcissist enabler allows you to focus on your life and maintain social connections. Relationships with narcissistic enablers can feel addictive, so try to rehab your mind and prepare yourself to abandon the relationship. Limit your meetings, chats, and friendships with the narcissistic enabler. Keep yourself busy so that you can limit your access to narcissistic abuse and successfully disengage them.   Note: If you are trapped between a narcissist and enablers,  We encourage you to use our Comment section to Vent out your emotions.   Have you ever experienced narcissistic abuse or currently experiencing one? Are you struggling to vent about that to anyone? Remember that venting to somebody who listens to you is the first step to healing. So, register here and vent to a listener who understands you. Invite trustable people into your life   Distancing yourself from narcissistic enablers also allows you to form new social bonds. Take advantage of this opportunity to meet trustworthy people and have them close by to support you. Prioritizing such people makes the narcissistic enablers feel less valuable, which may leave you feeling at ease. Build Boundaries   Boundaries are more important than ever in order to maintain healthy relationships. It’s not just for narcissists; it’s for everyone with a toxic personality. As a result, create boundaries that no one will be able to breach to harm you. If they cross your boundaries, develop the courage to say ‘No.’ Prefer your mental health over anything else, and you’ll be less likely to be exploited by narcissistic enablers. Go No Contact   Should I go no contact with the narcissistic…

Here is an argument that goes on within the narcissistic victim communities. “Which type of leaving a narcissist is better? Whether the victim of narcissistic abuse being discarded, or going no-contact with the narcissist?”.   Narcissistic abuse is a pattern of malicious acts followed by narcissists to hurt the victims. The pattern of abuse includes love-bombing, gaslighting, discarding, hoovering, etc. Any victim trapped in the narcissistic abusive cycle is most likely to suffer both mentally and physically. So, the best option to get rid of the narcissist from your life is to sever the narcissistic bond by either getting discarded or going no contact.   Leaving the narcissist is our ultimate goal to escape from the abuse, emotional damage, and suffering. However, it doesn’t come that easy, right? We have to go through more emotional rollercoasters, depression, anxiety, discomfort, and after-effects of leaving the narcissists. But if you did leave the narcissist after all the struggles, there lies peace.   “Getting discarded by the narcissist or going no contact, which is better?” is a complicated topic as both of the methods have struggles to face before and after leaving the narcissist. Let’s see the things that might happen in both ways of leaving a narcissist, and decide which is better at last.   Does Narcissist discarding more hurtful than going no contact?   The answer is yes. During narcissistic discarding, you will not be aware of the fact that the abuser is a narcissist. So, it will be hurtful, traumatic, and exhausting when discarded by the person you love. You might also be filled with sorrow, self-doubts, and hurt yourself for not fulfilling the narcissist.   Getting discarded is the most common thing that every victim experiences in narcissistic abuse. Narcissists discard you when they are bored of their victim or have found a new supply for validation and attention. From a record, about 20 million people in the US were diagnosed with a narcissistic personality disorder. On average, each narcissist can exploit 5 people in their life through narcissistic abuse. So, about 100 million people were suffering from narcissistic abuse in the US alone. From that, only a few were able to find the narcissistic traits of their loved ones. Although they have found out, only a few managed to go no contact with the narcissists successfully.   So, if you are being discarded by the narcissist, you are not alone. Although getting discarded is hurtful, there are some pros that come along with it.   If they didn’t discard, you would have stayed longer   Discarding is a manipulative tactic to hurt the victim. It always comes after the love-bombing phase of the abusive pattern. Since you have become obsessed with the narcissist, the discard will be more effective at those times. It’s not just an obsession, but the love you gave, the fear of losing a relationship, and the confusion of why the narcissist acts like this make you stick with them.   So, on the verge of solving this, you endure narcissistic abuse again and again. Furthermore, the victims sometimes intentionally get trapped in narcissistic abuse wishing the abuser would change. Pleasing a narcissist to change is not possible and without knowing that, one cannot break the narcissistic bond unless the narcissist discards you.   Will the narcissist come back after discarding me?   Narcissists will probably come back to the victims after discarding when they cannot find an alternative source of supply or the new supply failed to provide enough. The narcissists try to hoover you by love bombing or other manipulative tactics. So, if you are regretting the narcissistic discard, you are more likely to fall into narcissistic abuse again.   On the other hand, if you managed to figure out the abuser to be a narcissist, you have the chance to deal with the narcissist and make them finally discard you for peace.   Will the narcissist discard you forever?   The narcissists may discard you and never come back if they gain a surplus amount of narcissistic supply from the other victims. But the narcissist will eternally stalk, or keep track of you by any means to not lose control over you. They do not want the victim to move on from the relationship even when the narcissist shifts to another victim.   How to make the narcissist discard you forever?   When the narcissist discards you to hurt, it is tough for the victim to disengage with the narcissistic relationship. However, if you find out about the narcissist and dealt with them right, the narcissist might discard and leave you forever. So, follow these steps to make the narcissist discard you and never come back.  Do not react Give an emotionless answer Act bored and talk in an uninteresting way Have an understanding friend by your side Prioritize any things above the narcissist Say ‘No’ if you have to Ignore or move away if they pick a fight with you Following these steps will make the narcissist aware of the fact that you have figured them out and might leave you forever.   Give a Read: Are you an enabler of a narcissist? Check it   Getting Discarded saves you from Narcissistic Rage   If you go No Contact, especially with the covert or malignant narcissist, they see you as a threat as you might expose them. This makes them enrage and conduct smear campaigns or be more violent towards you, causing a backfire.    So, getting discarded by the narcissist seems safer and more effective in situations like this.   How does No Contact be better than getting discarded by the narcissist?   No Contact is a conscious act of a victim to completely sever the bond with the narcissist. Going No contact includes blocking the narcissist from the contacts, leaving from the place of a narcissist, migrating to another city to cut off the connection with the narcissist & flying monkeys, and even abandoning a family. To go…

Narcissists follow various tactics to trap the victims in the abusive cycle. Among that, Narcissistic triangulation is a crucial and covert tactic that narcissists play on a victim. The answers to the questions, why do narcissists triangulate? and how does narcissistic triangulation affect the victim in different circumstances? will be stated clearly in this article.   Narcissism is a dark triad personality that has the ability to harm people in both emotional and physical ways. The one who possesses this personality can be more exotic and noxious seeking to exploit others’ lives. Narcissistic triangulation is one of the tactics narcissists use to damage the victim. It is difficult to diagnose a person with narcissism. So, it is advisable to limit or avoid having any relationship with narcissists.   What is Narcissistic Triangulation? Narcissistic triangulation is a crucial and covert activity to trap the victim in the narcissistic abuse by bringing a third unknown or lesser-known person into the relationship. The third person does not necessarily be the victim of the narcissist and still somehow gets included in the triangulation. The narcissistic triangulation is also called the “divide and conquer” method.  Narcissistic Triangulation may occur within Love, Family, colleagues and Friends which can be more abusive and damaging than any emotional manipulation.   Why do narcissists triangulate you? The narcissists deliberately triangulate you with another person to Gain control over you Drive you to chase them Make you feel insecure Trigger chaos between the two Thus, restoring the sense of entitlement and superiority, i.e., narcissistic supply.   How do narcissists use the triangulation tactic? The narcissist will limit or give no authority to have a conversation with the third person in the triangulation. They keep this distance as a precautionary method to avoid getting exposed and control you easily. Meanwhile, trying to have contact with the other person in the narcissistic triangulation enrages the narcissists and abuses you abruptly. Narcissists use triangulation tactics to play abusive patterns like manipulation, love-bombing, Ghosting, and gaslighting over the victim in the relationship. The triangulation tactics of the narcissist on a victim differ when the circumstances they are in charge. Whether it may be a narcissistic love, narcissistic family, workplace, or friendships, they play different tactics to obtain different narcissistic supplies from the relationship. Let’s see the triangulation tactics used on different sequences by narcissists with examples.   Narcissistic Triangulation Across Various Platforms As stated above, narcissists conduct their narcissistic triangulation differently based on the circumstances. Narcissists find the triangulation technique as a big drama stage and they have the tendency to act on it perfectly as they wish. They can maneuver the victim or both the victims through triangulation and control them as they wish. The way they control and abuse the victim is what differs in situations. Let’s see how they triangulate the victim across various situations with an example for each. The narcissistic triangulation will possibly happen within Narcissistic love Narcissistic Family Narcissistic Workplace Narcissistic Friendships   Narcissistic Love Triangulation: “Hideous and covert” Love and intimacy are what make you obsessed with the narcissist. You value every word, sex, love, fun, and care you have shared with your partner(narcissist). But, on the flip side, narcissists see you as a mere pawn that can be controlled and sacrificed when they want. The triangulation in narcissistic love includes another person who is more likely to be the narcissist’s friend, secret partner, or ex. The ultimate target for a narcissistic triangulation in love is to make you feel insecure and admit that the narcissist does not deserve you. So, they include this person in the relationship and always bring them in normal chats to make you feel envious of them. The narcissist might not blatantly compare you both, but constantly bringing them into the conversation can make you insecure. The other person is probably secretive and does not interact much with you in the triangulation. Read: Are Cheaters Narcissists? Narcissist just wants you to feel like you are nothing special for them as they have other better options. But there are possibilities where the narcissist does not even have any contact with the other person and simply uses them for triangulating you. In case you start to become aware of their triangulation tactic, or try to communicate with the other person, the narcissist will gaslight, give the silent treatment, or abuse you for trying to unlock the truth.   Example of Narcissistic love triangulation Let’s assume you are a male, who is in love with the narc (N)(female), N introduces a new persona B(male) into the relationship. The N always try to speak about the new guy with you by saying things like, “He was better at doing this, you know?” “I remember his voice which I used to love the most” “His shoulders are much broader than this movie character” “He knows a lot about sex” “I love your smell, but his smell is something unique to forgot” “You can’t handle your emotions like my previous boyfriend” “This place reminds me of him” If you ask the N to stop mentioning B, the N responds with something like “Are you doubting me?”, “why are you feeling insecure?”, “I’m just mentioning about him, not comparing with you”, or giving silent treatment for interfering with the N’s triangulation.   Recommended Read: Only these people can make narcissistic love long-lasting   Triangulation in Narcissistic Families: “Deceiving, Manipulative, and family divider” In a narcissistic family, there are possibilities for any one of the parents or both of them to be narcissists. Having a narcissistic parent might be upsetting when you realize all the love and care given by them has a selfish intent followed by narcissistic abuse. You grew up around them without even a single idea about narcissism and now, you are mature to see your true self after all the agony. Triangulation in the narcissistic family does not need to have an unknown persona and can be your sibling, parent, relative, or family friend. In…

For the most part, you are not a narcissist in a relationship if you think you are one. However, to check that, you must confirm things that you did in the past or do right now. This article will ensure you get that done effectively.   Firstly and foremostly, does a narcissist know they are the narcissist in the relationship? A study shows that narcissists do have insights into their narcissistic personality traits. Their self-pride, lack of empathy, and high self-esteem choose to ignore the flaws and be proud of them. So, if you are the one who does not want to be a narcissist but highly doubts “am I a narcissist” in the relationship, you’re not. To assure that, proceed further into this article   Why do I feel like I am a narcissist? Narcissists are good manipulators and gas lighters who can manipulate people or things in a way that their actions do not affect their credibility among others. So, narcissists gaslight you before you even have an idea of accusing them of their actions. This makes you feel that you were the reason for their actions. As a result, you have to take responsibility for a narcissist’s action, which in turn makes you feel like you’re the narcissist. Having self-awareness, doing self-study, and taking responsibility for your actions are the things that narcissists aren’t capable of.  If you ever feel like you are a narcissist, do a self-evaluation by answering the questions below.   1. Who discarded first? If you haven’t known about narcissism before and fell right into the narcissistic trap, you cannot be the one who discards the partner first without experiencing any abuse. The discarding is a crucial narcissistic tactic followed by every narcissist to initiate the abusive patterns. Why do narcissists discard you? Narcissists intentionally discard you to initiate the abusive patterns in a relationship, as well as in search of another source of validation and attention. So, if you are the one thinking you are the narcissist, be sure of who initiated the abuse by discarding it. You are probably not a narcissist if you haven’t discarded it first.   2. Who constantly got hurt after every conversation? Having a conversation with a narcissist can be exhaustive and tough. You might have heard that “A healthy conversation is a key in a relationship” But it doesn’t work in the narcissist relationship. Why narcissistic partners cannot have a healthy conversation? Narcissists can’t have a healthy conversation as they don’t hold the accountability for their doings and blame-shift them to protect their self-pride. The lack of accountability in a narcissist causes the victims to believe the fault was theirs. This, in turn, hurts the victim at the end of every conversation with a narcissist. So, remember, if you are the one who got hurt while being in an abusive phase, you might not be a narcissist. Give a Read: Abusive Patterns of Narcissists   3. Who apologized at every end of a conversation? Followed by getting hurt in a conversation with a narcissist, you might end up apologizing to them. The fear of losing the relationship and the guilt for things that you don’t need to take responsibility for will push you to apologize to the narcissist. The narcissist wants their partner to apologize to feel entitled at the end of the conversation. It is always the narcissist who will hold the upper hand in the conversation during the abusive phase of a narcissistic relationship. Do narcissists ever apologize to their partners? Narcissists do apologize only when they feel like the victim is getting better after the abusive relationship. They use the apology as a hoovering tactic to pull the victim back into the narcissistic relationship. As their elevated self-pride does not allow them to apologize, narcissists often come up with the phrase “I’m sorry that you felt that way”, which again gaslights the victim. So, if you have no intention to hoover your partner by apologizing but to save the relationship, you are in the good end.   4. Who doesn’t care if one of you got hurt? Narcissists have no empathy for others, even for their partners but seek constant validation and care from empathetic people. Narcissists envy your empathy, kindness, and seek to destroy the good qualities in you. That is why narcissists abuse their partners to feel entitled for gaining the power to control others. So, a narcissist typically ignores or takes no responsibility if their partner gets hurt, whereas others care about their partner’s emotions and mental health. This apprehends that you possess no traits of narcissism if you care about your partner.   Give a Read: 6 Types of people who make the narcissistic relationship long-lasting    5. Who separates friends and family from life? Narcissists tend to isolate the victims from their friends and family. They want the victim to be vulnerable enough so that he/she wouldn’t reach out to someone for help or report about the abuse they’re going through. Although not every narcissist is capable of successfully isolating you from the family, they can go far in doing such acts. Why do narcissists isolate you from friends and family? Narcissists fear their dark triad personality getting exposed to society. They become hysterical and more abusive if they get accused of their malicious act; which is why they isolate the victim from their family and supporters. Narcissists could not bear shame and accusations as they destroy their bloated self-esteem. Therefore, if you do not intend to separate your partner and family, stop doubting you are the narcissist in the relationship.   6. Do you care about your partner’s life? Anyone who is in love cares for their partner’s health, mental stability, goals, and dreams. But, in the case of a narcissist, they do not care about their partner’s life. It is always about them who should have the best in the narcissistic relationship. On the other hand, if you are indeed successful, the narcissists begin…