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Am I a narcissist in a Relationship? 7 Reasons you’re not

Dante3 years ago3 years ago016 mins

For the most part, you are not the narcissist in a relationship if you think you are one. However, to check that, you must confirm things that you did in the past or do right now. This article will ensure you get that done effectively. Firstly and foremostly, does a narcissist know they are the narcissist in the relationship? A study shows that narcissists do have insights into their narcissistic personality traits. Their self-pride, lack of empathy, and high self-esteem choose to ignore the flaws and be proud of them. So, if you are the one who does not want to be a narcissist but highly doubts “am I a narcissist” in the relationship, you’re not. To assure that, proceed further into this article. Why do I feel like I am a narcissist? Narcissists are good manipulators and gas lighters who can manipulate people or things in a way that their actions do not affect their credibility among others. So, narcissists gaslight you before you even have an idea of accusing them of their actions. This makes you feel that you were the reason for their actions. As a result, you have to take responsibility for a narcissist’s action, which in turn makes you feel like you’re the narcissist. Having self-awareness, doing self-study, and taking responsibility for your actions are the things that narcissists aren’t capable of. If you ever feel like you are a narcissist, do a self-evaluation by answering the questions below. 1. Who discarded first? If you haven’t known about narcissism before and fell right into the narcissistic trap, you cannot be the one who discards the partner first without experiencing any abuse. The discarding is a crucial narcissistic tactic followed by every narcissist to initiate the abusive patterns. Why do narcissists discard you? Narcissists intentionally discard you to initiate the abusive patterns in a relationship, as well as in search of another source of validation and attention. So, if you are the one thinking you are the narcissist, be sure of who initiated the abuse by discarding it. You are probably not a narcissist if you haven’t discarded it first. 2. Who constantly got hurt after every conversation? Having a conversation with a narcissist can be exhaustive and tough. You might have heard that “A healthy conversation is a key in a relationship” But it doesn’t work in the narcissist relationship. Why narcissistic partners cannot have a healthy conversation? Narcissists can’t have a healthy conversation as they don’t hold the accountability for their doings and blame-shift them to protect their self-pride. The lack of accountability in a narcissist causes the victims to believe the fault was theirs. This, in turn, hurts the victim at the end of every conversation with a narcissist. So, remember, if you are the one who got hurt while being in an abusive phase, you might not be a narcissist. Give a Read: Abusive Patterns of Narcissists 3. Who apologized at every end of a conversation? Followed by getting hurt in a conversation with a narcissist, you might end up apologizing to them. The fear of losing the relationship and the guilt for things that you don’t need to take responsibility for will push you to apologize to the narcissist. The narcissist wants their partner to apologize to feel entitled at the end of the conversation. It is always the narcissist who will hold the upper hand in the conversation during the abusive phase of a narcissistic relationship. Do narcissists ever apologize to their partners? Narcissists do apologize only when they feel like the victim is getting better after the abusive relationship. They use the apology as a hoovering tactic to pull the victim back into the narcissistic relationship. As their elevated self-pride does not allow them to apologize, narcissists often come up with the phrase “I’m sorry that you felt that way”, which again gaslights the victim. So, if you have no intention to hoover your partner by apologizing but to save the relationship, you are in the good end. 4. Who doesn’t care if one of you got hurt? Narcissists have no empathy for others, even for their partners but seek constant validation and care from empathetic people. Narcissists envy your empathy, kindness, and seek to destroy the good qualities in you. That is why narcissists abuse their partners to feel entitled for gaining the power to control others. So, a narcissist typically ignores or takes no responsibility if their partner gets hurt, whereas others care about their partner’s emotions and mental health. This apprehends that you possess no traits of narcissism if you care about your partner. Give a Read: 6 Types of people who make the narcissistic relationship long-lasting 5. Who separates friends and family from life? Narcissists tend to isolate the victims from their friends and family. They want the victim to be vulnerable enough so that he/she wouldn’t reach out to someone for help or report about the abuse they’re going through. Although not every narcissist is capable of successfully isolating you from the family, they can go far in doing such acts. Why do narcissists isolate you from friends and family? Narcissists fear their dark triad personality getting exposed to society. They become hysterical and more abusive if they get accused of their malicious act; which is why they isolate the victim from their family and supporters. Narcissists could not bear shame and accusations as they destroy their bloated self-esteem. Therefore, if you do not intend to separate your partner and family, stop doubting you are the narcissist in the relationship. 6. Do you care about your partner’s life? Anyone who is in love cares for their partner’s health, mental stability, goals, and dreams. But, in the case of a narcissist, they do not care about their partner’s life. It is always about them who should have…

6 types of people who make narcissistic relationships long-lasting

Dante3 years ago2 years ago016 mins

Narcissistic people aren’t healthy for any relationship. Their high self-esteem, grandiose sense of entitlement, self-centered behavior seek a perennial supply of valuation and attention. To acquire that, narcissists follow malevolent behaviors like abuse, manipulation, and gaslighting. But, have you ever wondered, “How can some people have a prolonged relationship with a narcissist?” Well, this article will clear that up for you. Narcissists find attention, valuation, and admiration of others as a source to fulfill the never-ending hollow mind. If someone validates the narcissists, they visualize the person as a quality source of supply, and so, they make efforts to build a relationship with them. Thus, a narcissistic relationship will be established and the narcissist can excavate constant validation from the partner. The one with a narcissistic personality sees attention, appraisals, controls, or other extrinsic assets as worthy. With that said, narcissists do not value their partner’s emotions, love expectations, and needs. So, it requires an immense sacrifice to have a long-lasting relationship with the narcissist. Let’s see the types of people who will endure such abuse and sacrifices to make the narcissistic relationship work. What types of people make the narcissistic relationship work? Being married or having any relationship with a narcissist or can be exhaustive and abusive. You cannot follow your dreams, be happy with others, or have personal growth with a narcissist in a relationship. Instead, you will end up spending your energy and time validating them. It almost looks like you are living their life or the life how they want you to have. The only people who can bear the constant discarding, abuse, gaslighting, and manipulation of the narcissist and expect nothing in return can be in a narcissistic relationship. There are people who indeed have traits to attract narcissists to have long-lasting relationships. Narcissists can go picky about selecting people with such traits as being empathetic, kind, monogamous, and emotionally weak as a partner. Although it might differ, these are the people who can sustain a narcissistic relationship longer. Healers Relationship Keepers Reputable Insecure ones Betas Dark triad personalities are the people who are capable of bargaining their life to live in a narcissistic relationship. 1. Healers A person who is a healer believes in changing others by showing empathy and kindness. People with a healing mentality always look for people who are insecure, hurt, and toxic to provide support and advice. Such healers are good validators, lovers and are a healthy source of supply to narcissists. While being in a narcissistic relationship, discarding and other malicious traits will start appearing once the narcissist finds the source is not enough. Healing personality people believe in changing such traits in time by showering with love and validation. Although the relationship is abusive and blame-shifting, these types of people stick to their belief of changing a narcissist. Can a narcissist change? It is a great dilemma; Narcissism lowers in people as their age increases. In addition to that, research suggests that a narcissist can develop the ability to show empathy while seeing things from others’ perspectives. Talk therapy can suggest some ways to lower the traits of narcissism in people if they intend to reach out for help. However, often narcissists’ grandiosity of self-pride does not agree with changing, as they are proud of being themselves. So, unless healers accept that narcissists cannot be changed in lack of personal growth and therapy, the abusive narcissistic relationships will continue long-lasting. 2. Relationship Keepers Some people are desperate to save a relationship from falling apart. They believe in an eternal relationship with a partner, regardless of his/her personality. Such people are the ones who value relationships more than mental health. They do not want to lose a relationship, as they waited for a long time to get one. So, they choose to endure emotional pain, abuse, devalue and trauma bonding to get hold of the narcissistic relationship. And that explains the long-lasting relationship with narcissists. 3. Reputable Certain people do know about their partner’s disability to have a good personality. They also might know that their partner is a narcissist but cannot take action on it by going no-contact or applying for a divorce for the sake of their reputation. Such reputable people value society’s gossip and prestige more than their personal life and decide not to sever the bond with a narcissistic partner. Often these people have emotional instability due to the continual exposure to drama and gaslighting. To maintain their reputation, they cannot even expose or share the abusive relationship they are enduring for a long. 4. Insecure ones When people are insecure about themselves, they settle with anyone who just accepts them. Insecure people typically think others are better than them in every aspect. So, when they fall into a narcissistic love, they visualize the narcissistic partner in a higher place. Insecure ones do think that the narcissistic partner deserves more than them and choose to stay by their side (or it may be the effects of the manipulation of a narcissist). This gives the narcissist partner full authority and control over them. So, insecure people suffer the most in narcissistic relationships. Unless having adequate self-worth and overcoming the insecurities, undoing the narcissistic relationship is not possible. Have you ever experienced narcissistic abuse or currently experiencing one? Are you struggling to vent about that to anyone? Remember that venting to somebody who listens to you is the first step to healing. So, register here and vent to a listener who understands you. 5. Betas A person with a beta personality is inclusively nice, kind, and respectful. A beta person is mostly monogamous, loyal, and caring in a relationship, especially a beta man who cares more for a woman. One with such a personality wants to be the first one to help others, as they wish to be a dependable person. A person with beta behavior…