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December 21, 2024

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How To Know If A Narcissist Is Done / Finished With You?

Dante021 mins

I’m so sorry you’re here because it probably means you’re hurting. You might feel confused, sad, or even angry because someone you trusted has hurt you. I want you to know that you’re not alone. At least, if you are sure that the narcissist is done with you or not, you might try to get out of the situation. Let’s find a way out of this difficult situation. This narcissistic person might have seemed wonderful at first, but now they’re causing you pain. To know if a narcissist is finished with you, understanding the transition from a beautiful life with the narcissist to an abusive and hurting life is important.   Why is life with a narcissist so beautiful at first? Narcissists are very good at creating an exciting, ideal beginning to a relationship. This phase is sometimes called “love bombing.” They shower you with attention, praise, and affection, making you feel like you’ve found the perfect partner. In this phase, they often say or do things that make you imagine a bright future together. But this isn’t necessarily because they’re genuinely committed to that vision. Instead, it’s often about securing your admiration and devotion, which feeds their sense of self-worth. Why does it shift to abuse? Over time, a narcissist might feel that the relationship no longer gives them the excitement or attention they want, often called “narcissistic supply.” Why does this happen? Because they feel they have full control over you and believe you now see them as perfect. Once they feel safe in the relationship, they might stop trying to act like the ideal version of themselves. So, basically, when they are done/bored with the narcissistic supply you offer, they might start to feel done with the relationship as well. Let’s look into this much deeper.   When do narcissists feel done with the victim? Narcissists often start feeling “done” with a victim when the relationship no longer serves their needs or when they perceive a shift in the dynamics. This isn’t a gradual, healthy disengagement like in typical relationships—it’s more about their internal triggers and unmet expectations. There can be various reasons behind this including their unsatisfactory needs, lack of compassion, empathy and even your retaliation for their abuse.  Read: When do Narcissists Actually done with you? How To Know If A Narcissist Is Done With You? Though it is difficult to identify when a narcissist is done with you, recognizing these signs can help you be aware and protect yourself emotionally. When a narcissist done with you, their behavior often shifts in more cruel, abusive and shocking ways. So, be aware of these signs to identify in case,   1. They become emotionally distant A narcissist who is done may suddenly seem cold, uninterested, or detached since they no longer feel the need to maintain emotional closeness since they’ve lost interest or moved on mentally. They might: Stop sharing personal thoughts or feelings. Show little to no interest in your emotions or well-being. Give you short, dismissive responses or avoid meaningful conversations. 2. They stop the “love-bombing” completely The sweet, loving gestures that may have been frequent at the start disappear entirely. As They no longer need to keep you emotionally invested because they’re either done or shifting focus to someone new. No compliments, affection, or thoughtful acts — They may act as if your presence is annoying or meaningless. 3. They pick fights or provoke you intentionally Picking fights allows them to justify leaving or blaming you for the relationship’s problems. Starting arguments over small things, provoking you to react negatively or Criticizing you harshly or unfairly can be one of the ways. Also, they even gaslight you by acting as if everything is your fault and Make passive-aggressive comments to irritate or undermine you. 4. They withdraw physically When narcissists withdraw physically, it often means they’re losing interest in you. This physical distance can be a reflection of their emotional withdrawal. You may notice they avoid physical intimacy or touch, and instead spend less time at home or with you. They might make excuses to stay away, cancel plans frequently, or show up late, leaving you feeling confused, hurt, and isolated. 5. They show excessive interest in someone else If they have found a new source of admiration, their attention may shift dramatically to someone else. They could talk about this person frequently, compare you to them, or prioritize their time with this new individual. This sudden interest in someone else is a strong indicator that they are mentally disengaging. These dysfunctional things can happen more when a family is filled with narcissists.  Read: Dysfunctional Things in a Narcissistic Family 6. They start devaluing you openly Open devaluation becomes more frequent as they start to openly criticize or belittle you. They might mock you, highlight your flaws in front of others, or minimize your achievements. This stage can feel especially painful as their once charming persona becomes cruel and hurtful. 7. They act bored or annoyed by you Their boredom or annoyance with you becomes apparent. They might sigh, roll their eyes, or dismiss what you say as unimportant. You may notice them acting impatient, as if they’d rather be anywhere else. This behavior signals that they’ve emotionally checked out. 8. They may become cruel or vindictive When the narcissist is done with you, then there is no need for your validation or attention for them. In such cases, their behavior escalates to cruelty or vindictiveness. They even go an extra step and might spread rumors about you, share private information, or even sabotage your friendships or career. These actions often stem from their desire to punish or control you further. These types of narcissistic Devaluations are a clear sign that a narcissist is finished with you. 9. They focus solely on their needs Their focus shifts entirely to themselves, with no effort to hide their selfishness. Conversations revolve around their needs and desires, with no interest in yours. They may demand…

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Why Do Narcissists Ignore Texts When You Care?

Dante013 mins

Have you ever found yourself staring at your phone, anxiously waiting for a reply that never comes? If you’ve dealt with a narcissist—especially a covert narcissist—you know how their text messages can feel like emotional rollercoasters. Through just a few words, they can control, manipulate, and destabilize your peace of mind. Yet, when you need them the most, they suddenly vanish, ignoring your texts and leaving your emotions spiraling. Why do they do this, and how do they manage to wield so much power, even virtually? Why do Narcissists use texting to abuse victims? Covert narcissists often use texting as a powerful tool for control because it allows them to carefully craft their messages and manipulate without the immediate reactions or challenges that come with face-to-face communication. Through texts, they can be passive-aggressive, guilt-tripping, or ambiguous, leaving their victim confused or second-guessing themselves. This medium lets them maintain power without revealing their true intentions, making it harder for the victim to recognize the abuse or respond effectively. If texting is advantageous to the narcissist to this extent, then Why does the narcissist ignore your texts when you need them the most? Don’t they need to be texting to be abusive? So, does ignoring my texts mean they aren’t narcissists? No, ignoring your texts doesn’t mean they aren’t narcissists. In fact, it’s a hallmark tactic many narcissists use. See why..   Why Do Narcissists Ignore Texts? Ignoring texts is one of the narcissist’s favorite tools for control, and it can actually amplify their abusive tactics.  When a narcissist ignores your text messages, especially when you care and in need of communication, it’s a deliberate act to achieve certain goals. The abuse doesn’t always come from what they say or do—it can also come from what they withhold, like attention, empathy, or communication. This withholding can be just as damaging as overt acts of harm. Narcissists Ignoring you when you need them most doesn’t mean they don’t want to abuse you; it’s often part of the abuse itself.  When they withhold from giving the bare minimum you ask for in the relationship, Your mental stability falls apart. Maybe that is why you are here.  The pain and confusion you feel when ignored are exactly what they intend to create—it keeps you unsettled and seeking their validation. If you feel hurt, neglected, and controlled by their actions—even their silence—it’s worth trusting your instincts. Abuse isn’t only about constant engagement; it’s about how someone’s behavior (or lack of behavior) makes you feel. When a narcissist ignores your texts, it’s not accidental or harmless—it’s often a calculated move to achieve several goals. While it can feel confusing and hurtful, understanding their motivations might help you see their behavior more clearly and protect your emotional well-being. Here’s what they often aim to achieve: What if you ignore the Narcissist? 1. Asserting Power and Control Ignoring your texts allows the narcissist to establish dominance. By withholding their response, they send the message that their time, attention, and emotions are more valuable than yours. This imbalance puts them in control of the relationship dynamic and leaves you feeling powerless and unsure of where you stand. 2. Punishing You If they perceive that you’ve done something to upset or challenge them—like questioning their behavior, setting boundaries, or not giving them enough attention—they may ignore you as a form of punishment. This is a way to “teach you a lesson” and discourage behaviors they don’t like. 3. Creating Emotional Uncertainty By ignoring you, they create confusion, anxiety, and self-doubt. You may start questioning yourself: “Did I say something wrong?” “Am I not important to them?” This emotional instability keeps you focused on them, as you desperately try to fix the situation and regain their attention. 4. Reinforcing Dependency Ignoring your plays into a cycle of emotional highs and lows. When they eventually respond or re-engage, it feels like a relief, even if they don’t apologize or acknowledge the hurt they caused. This pattern keeps you emotionally hooked, craving their attention and approval, which deepens your dependency on them. 5. Testing Your Boundaries The narcissist may ignore your texts to see how far they can push you. If you continue to reach out, apologize, or try to win back their attention, they see it as confirmation that they have power over you. This encourages them to keep testing your limits in other ways. 6. Avoiding Accountability If the conversation involves issues where they feel criticized or exposed, they may ignore you to avoid responsibility. This allows them to sidestep any confrontation that might threaten their fragile ego or force them to address their behavior. 7. Protecting Their Image Narcissists care deeply about how they’re perceived. By ignoring your texts, they can avoid situations where their facade might crumble. If they can’t control the narrative in the moment, they simply choose silence as a way to maintain their carefully crafted image. 8. Creating an Illusion of Superiority By making you wait, they subtly imply that their time and attention are more valuable than yours. This silent rejection feeds their ego and reinforces their sense of superiority, making them feel “above” the need to respond to you immediately—or at all. Also imaging how proud they would feel upon knowing they had so much control over you even virtually.    How to respond to Narcissists after they start texting again? When a narcissist ignores your text and then re-engages, especially as if nothing happened, it’s often an attempt to maintain control and avoid accountability. Your response is crucial, not just for managing the situation, but for protecting your emotional boundaries. First, stay calm and resist the urge to immediately welcome them back or confront them emotionally. Respond neutrally and with emotional detachment.  For example, you might reply briefly, acknowledging their message but not engaging deeply: “Hi, good to hear from you.”  This shows you’re not overly affected by their silence or eager to jump back into their control. If you feel ready to…

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Why Do I Attract Narcissists Always ?

Dante011 mins

If you’ve ever found yourself stuck in a toxic cycle of relationships or friendships with narcissists, you’re not alone. The question, “Why do I attract narcissists always?”, is one that many empathetic and kind-hearted individuals ask themselves after repeated experiences. Understanding the reasons behind this pattern is the first step to breaking free and creating healthier relationships.  What Do narcissists find attractive in a person? Narcissists are often drawn to individuals who satisfy their psychological needs for admiration, control, and validation. Their “suppliers” (commonly referred to as “narcissistic supply”) are people who fulfill these needs.  Narcissistic supply is anything that feeds a narcissist’s sense of self-importance and helps them maintain their inflated self-image. This can be attention, admiration, praise, or even emotional reactions like fear or anger—anything that makes them feel powerful or special. People who are empathetic, caring, attentive and have high tolerance are often attractive to narcissists because they naturally offer validation and support. These qualities make someone an easy target for a narcissist seeking to feel admired or in control. How to make a narcissist obsessed over you Why Do I Always Attract Narcissists? If you find yourself often attracting narcissists, it could be due to specific patterns in your personality, behaviors, or beliefs that draw them in. It’s important to note that attracting narcissists doesn’t mean you’re at fault—it often reflects a combination of factors that create a dynamic narcissists find appealing. Here’s why this might be happening: What do narcissists fear the most 1. You Have High Empathy or Are a Caregiver Narcissists seek individuals who are understanding and forgiving. If you’re naturally empathetic or have a “helper” personality, you may overlook their flaws and focus on their potential for growth or vulnerability. You might find yourself trying to “fix” or “heal” them, which keeps you invested in the relationship. 2. You May Be a People-Pleaser Narcissists thrive on admiration and control. If you prioritize making others happy, they see an opportunity to exploit your willingness to prioritize their needs over your own. They may manipulate your kindness to gain constant attention and validation. 3. You Have a Strong Desire for Connection Narcissists are often charming and charismatic in the beginning. If you value deep, meaningful relationships, their initial charm might make them seem like the perfect partner or friend. Once the relationship deepens, their true controlling or self-centered nature begins to emerge. 4. You Might Struggle with Boundaries Narcissists tend to push boundaries. If you have difficulty setting or enforcing limits, they may exploit this to take advantage of your time, energy, or emotions. You may feel drained and resentful but unsure how to push back effectively. How narcissists react if you block 5. You Have Low Self-Esteem or Are Highly Self-Critical Narcissists often look for individuals who may feel insecure or seek external validation. If you’re self-critical, they might initially build you up with compliments, making you dependent on their approval. Over time, they may use your insecurities against you, making it harder for you to leave. 6. Past Experiences Have Shaped Your Patterns If you grew up with emotionally unavailable or controlling caregivers, you might unconsciously seek out similar dynamics in adulthood, as it feels familiar or “normal.” These unresolved patterns can make narcissistic relationships feel like a continuation of past relationships, even if they’re unhealthy. 7. You Radiate Confidence or Success Ironically, narcissists are also drawn to confident and accomplished individuals. They may want to align themselves with your success to boost their own image. You may initially feel flattered, but over time, they may seek to diminish your confidence or achievements to maintain control. 8. You have a high tolerance for abuse Finally, but importantly, having a high tolerance to abuse is a major trait that keeps on pulling narcissists into your life. Having a high tolerance for narcissistic abuse often means you’re able to endure manipulative behaviors, criticism, or emotional neglect without pushing back or walking away. This might stem from a strong desire to avoid conflict, a belief that relationships require endless patience, or a history of being in environments where such behaviors were normalized. To a narcissist, this tolerance can seem like an open invitation. They may sense that you’re less likely to set firm boundaries or call out their behavior, which allows them to take control of the dynamic. What can you Do? The most effective way to break the cycle of attracting narcissists is to strengthen your boundaries and prioritize your own emotional well-being. Start by becoming more aware of your patterns—notice when someone’s behavior feels manipulative, dismissive, or controlling. Trust your feelings and don’t dismiss the narcissistic red flags. Remember, protecting your peace and self-worth is not selfish—it’s an act of self-love that opens the door to healthier, more fulfilling connections.  6 Personalities that Attract Narcissists How to Stop Attracting Narcissists Identify and Heal Emotional Triggers Reflect on past experiences and relationships to identify emotional wounds that may influence your choices. Therapy can help uncover and address these triggers, paving the way for healthier dynamics. Set and Enforce Boundaries Narcissists thrive in relationships with weak boundaries. Learning to say no and asserting your needs can help you repel toxic individuals. Example boundaries include: Limiting time spent with people who drain your energy. Avoiding discussions that feel one-sided or manipulative. Build Self-Worth Focus on activities and affirmations that strengthen your sense of self-worth. When you value yourself, you’ll be less likely to tolerate disrespect or toxic behavior. Recognize Red Flags Some early signs of narcissistic behavior include excessive charm, self-centeredness, and a lack of genuine interest in your feelings. Trust your instincts and walk away at the first sign of manipulation. Seek Supportive Relationships Surround yourself with people who respect and uplift you. A strong support system can help you recognize unhealthy patterns and stay grounded. Practice Emotional Detachment Narcissists often seek to provoke emotional reactions as a way of controlling others. Developing emotional detachment can make you less susceptible to their tactics. Conclusion…

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Do Narcissists fear Anything?

Dante09 mins

Narcissists are people who often behave in ways that hurt others. They can be very manipulative and abusive. But have you ever wondered: Do Narcissists fear Anything? Is there something or someone that makes them feel afraid? Is it different from how the rest of us experience fear? This article may have answers for those.. Understanding their fears can help us see that beneath their harmful actions, they are often deeply insecure. Let me explain in a simple way:   Do Narcissists Fear Anything or Anyone? Yes, narcissists do experience fear, but their fears are often tied to their self-image. They fear anything that threatens their sense of superiority or control. For example: Fear of exposure: They are terrified of being seen as weak, incompetent, or flawed. Fear of rejection: Deep down, many narcissists fear being abandoned or unloved, even if they don’t show it. Fear of losing control: They often fear situations where they feel powerless or out of control.   What Does Fear Mean to a Narcissist? For narcissists, fear is deeply connected to their fragile self-esteem. While most people might face fear with vulnerability, narcissists often react to fear by attacking, deflecting blame, or shutting down emotionally. They don’t like to admit fear because it makes them feel weak, which conflicts with the strong, confident image they try to project.   Is Fear Different for Narcissists Compared to Others? Yes, fear feels different for narcissists because of how they handle it: Defensive reactions: Instead of showing fear openly, they might lash out, belittle others, or act overly confident. Shame-driven fear: For narcissists, fear is often rooted in shame—a painful feeling that they’re not “good enough.” Avoidance of vulnerability: Unlike most people who may share fears with loved ones, narcissists tend to hide or deny their fears to maintain their sense of control. “Narcissists may fear, but their pride often leads to lashing out at victims to hide their vulnerability. A victim may not win making a narcissist Fear”  So, how can you escape the narcissist’s defensive reactions out of fear?, here are the steps below How to Make a Narcissist Fear? Escaping Narcissist’s Fearful Reactions Dealing with a narcissist who is reacting from fear can be challenging, especially when their defensive behaviors feel harmful or overwhelming. But, if you are well-versed in the narcissistic patterns, these eight practical ways could help to protect yourself:   1. Set Clear Boundaries Narcissists often test limits, but having firm boundaries can protect you from being overwhelmed. Example: If they start yelling or blaming you unfairly, calmly say: “I’m willing to talk when we can both stay calm, but I won’t continue this conversation if it’s disrespectful.” Then, follow through by walking away if necessary.   2. Don’t Take It Personally Their defensive reactions are often about their own insecurities, not about you. Example: If they accuse you of being “ungrateful” when you challenge their behavior, remind yourself: “This isn’t about me; it’s about how they feel threatened.” Respond with neutrality, like: “I hear you, but I see things differently.”   3. Avoid Arguing or Confronting Directly When narcissists feel threatened, they may escalate conflicts. Keep your responses neutral and non-confrontational. Example: Instead of saying, “You’re wrong for blaming me,” try: “I understand that you’re upset. Let’s focus on finding a solution.”   4. Use the “Gray Rock” Method This means being emotionally uninteresting so they lose interest in provoking you. Example: If they try to bait you with insults, respond minimally and without emotion: “Okay,” or “I see.” Avoid showing anger or frustration. What happens when you ignore a narcissist? 5. Prioritize Self-Care Protecting yourself from their emotional impact requires taking care of your mental health. Example: After an intense interaction, practice deep breathing, journal your feelings, or spend time doing something you enjoy to recharge.   6. Plan an Exit Strategy for Escalations When a narcissist reacts strongly from fear, it’s okay to disengage until they calm down. Example: If they become verbally aggressive, calmly say: “I think we both need a moment. Let’s talk later.” Then leave the room or the situation.   7. Seek Support Dealing with a narcissist alone can be exhausting. Lean on trusted friends, family, or professionals for guidance. Example: If you feel trapped, talk to a counselor or a close friend to get perspective and advice on handling the situation.   8. Protect Your Energy When a narcissist is reacting out of fear, it’s easy to get drawn into their emotions. Remind yourself that their reactions are not your responsibility to fix. Focus on maintaining your peace.   Things to Remember at the end of the day It can be exhausting and frustrating dealing with someone who constantly deflects and hides their fears behind a strong front. Remember, their defensiveness isn’t a reflection of your worth or anything you’ve done—it’s their way of avoiding their own insecurities.  You’re not responsible for their reactions, and it’s okay to protect your peace by setting boundaries. You have every right to feel what you’re feeling. With time and support, you can find ways to feel stronger and regain control. You’re not alone in this. Going No contact with narcissist is better   

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How to Make a Narcissist Obsessed with You?

Dante016 mins

The idea of making a narcissist obsessed with you might seem tempting – a way to regain control or perhaps even seek revenge. But, it’s super important to know that going down this path could have some serious drawbacks. If you’re seeking to manipulate or take revenge against a narcissist, this article might not be the best guide for you. For those who’ve suffered due to narcissistic behavior, the emotional toll can be immense. While it’s natural to want to regain a sense of power and make them feel the pain they’ve inflicted, seeking revenge usually doesn’t lead to real healing. This article wants to help you understand narcissists and whether is it really possible to make them obsess over you by following the methods given below.  Do Narcissists become obsessed with you? Yes, a narcissist can become obsessed with you if they recognize that your ability to consistently meet their insatiable need for narcissistic supply. This supply could encompass admiration, attention, and validation, which are crucial for a narcissist’s self-esteem.  Once the narcissist realizes the potential for abundant supply within someone, their addiction to the person can intensify, and they may focus their attention on that individual, seeking to extract as much validation as possible.  This fixation continues until the narcissist’s interest wanes, often due to their ever-shifting desires and short attention span. Steps to make a narcissists obsessed with you You can make a narcissist obsessed with you by making yourself appear high-value, playing hot and cold, ignoring them sometimes, and being emotionally unavailable. Using a “hot and cold” method, where you sometimes give them a lot of attention and other times pull away, makes them want your approval even more.  The Following tactics can make their obsession with you stronger and makes them keep trying to get your approval, which they find kind of hard to get.   1. Give a Taste of Narcissistic Supply Narcissists are naturally attracted to people they think they can easily control and manipulate. To catch a narcissist’s interest, it can work well to act like you’re really impressed by their charm at first.  Let them believe that they’re truly charming you. Make them feel like they’re in charge by letting them make choices for you, like what you wear, eat, or how you talk.  Once you give a little bit of narcissistic supply– that’s like attention and admiration – they want more and more.  This makes them start getting really fixated on you over time. Their constant need for validation becomes a big reason why they keep trying to get your attention. 2. Make Them Dependent on You Make the narcissist really want to be close to you by making them depend on you. When you’re spending time with the narcissist in your life, do things you’re really good at (or things they really don’t want to do). Don’t make them dependent on you financially or any big leaps. Just keep it on basic level dependency that wouldn’t make you trouble. The narcissist will start enjoying this little dependency and check how far they could pull you off. Hence, they’ll demand more efforts from you and be obsessed with your efforts. 3. Keep Your Value High To keep a narcissist really interested, always remind them how great you are. Show off your important job, big group of friends, or a special skill that everyone wants. Exhibit yourself that you are admired by many. Keep yourself as a secret and Show them that there is a lot more to learn about you. When they always know how amazing you are, they’ll become really focused on wanting to keep you around. This strong desire comes from their need to be connected with someone they see as extraordinary. It makes them want to stay close to you. 4. Spend Quality time with Friends and Family Let them see that you’ve got your own life going on and it is awesome, so they’ll want to be a part of it. If they realize you’re spending time and effort on other relationships, they might start feeling jealous or wanting to look out for you.  Make sure you hang out with other people or do things you love, and tell them about it. This way, they’ll understand that you’re not only focused on the relationship, and it will make you seem like an interesting challenge to them. This way of doing things doesn’t just show that you’re not only thinking about the relationship, but it also makes you seem really interesting and like a challenge to control. It’s like you’re a person with lots of different sides that keep them wanting to pay attention to you all the time. And the narcissist will react if you can’t be controlled in a way that they get jealous and get more addicted over you.  5. Withdraw emotionally before the Abuse To make a narcissist really obsessed with you, start pulling back emotionally before any possible mistreatment starts.  When you distance yourself emotionally as soon as you notice them trying to control or treat you badly, you’re setting a limit that challenges their sense of control.  This doesn’t just mess up their expected power balance, but also makes them want to get back the attention and control they think they should have.  Making a Narcissist fear you is pretty easy. By showing that you’re emotionally strong before any bad treatment happens, you’re basically making them really want to get back that connection they’re scared of losing. This makes their obsession with you even stronger. 6. Tend to be more attractive Show yourself as extra appealing when you’re around people, especially of the opposite gender triggers their need to compete and brings out their hidden insecurities.  When they see that others are giving you attention, especially people they might consider as rivals, they’ll want to show they’re in charge of you even more.  This smart move can make them super focused on getting your approval, trying to show they’re valuable…

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10 Signs of Narcissistic Devaluation

sartaj manikandan013 mins

Are you tired of feeling like you’re never good enough? Do you feel trapped in a cycle of constant criticism and doubt? You’re not alone. Experiencing narcissistic devaluation can be a painful and exhausting experience. But here’s the truth: your suffering is not your fault. It’s time to break free from the toxic grip of narcissistic abuse and reclaim your sense of self-worth.  Let’s get into the reality of what are narcissistic devaluations and how to identify those to protect yourself.   What is a Narcissist Devaluation? Narcissistic devaluation happens when a narcissist begins to diminish or undermine someone they were once idealizing. At first, they may have made you feel special, loved, or deeply admired, often called the “idealization phase.” However, as time passes, they might start to criticize, belittle, or withdraw affection. This shift isn’t about you; it often reflects their deep insecurities and need to feel superior by controlling how others see themselves. The impact of devaluation is particularly harmful because it happens after the idealization phase, which can create confusion. Victims often question, “What did I do wrong?” or feel the need to regain the narcissist’s approval. This emotional rollercoaster can lead one (victim) to self-doubt, anxiety, and even a loss of personal identity.   Types of Narcissistic Devaluation Signs Recognizing Narcissistic devaluation is challenging because it’s subtle at first. Because, narcissists are skilled at making their actions seem reasonable. You might not see it as “devaluation” but as moments of tension or normal relationship struggles. But, Over time, the abusive patterns emerge, and you should keep an eye on those devaluations to safeguard yourself from the abusive cycle. These aren’t random but deliberate ways to keep control. So, Keep watching for the below signs or narcissist redflags. The following are the Devaluation red flags/signs of a narcissist,   1. Emotional and Verbal Abuse One of the clear indications of devaluation is when the narcissist starts to pick at you, insult you, and put you down. They may constantly make fun of you or belittle your accomplishments.  This emotional and verbal abuse is aimed at demoralizing you, making you feel unworthy, and ensuring that you never speak up when they violate your boundaries.  Recognizing this behaviour as a sign of devaluation is crucial for your self-esteem and mental health. 2. Gaslighting Gaslighting involves distorting your reality to make you question your perceptions. A narcissist might deny things they said or did, making you feel like you’re imagining things. They do things that can hurt you and might even accuse you of forgetting things they deliberately never told you, saying, “I told you about this; you just weren’t paying attention.” Over time, you may start doubting your memory or sanity, feeling as though you can’t trust your own mind. This tactic serves to confuse you, weaken your confidence, and make you more dependent on their version of events, where they always come out blameless. 3. Blaming You for Their Problems Another devaluation tactic is making you responsible for their failures or bad moods. If they’re unhappy or something goes wrong, they’ll twist the situation to make it seem like your fault. For example, they might say, “If you hadn’t distracted me, I wouldn’t have made that mistake.” This not only deflects accountability from them but also leaves you feeling guilty for things you didn’t do, further eroding your sense of self. In a healthy relationship, both partners take responsibility for their actions. However, narcissists rarely own up to their behaviour and blame or gaslight you for that. 4. Silent Treatment One common tactic narcissists use is the silent treatment. As the devaluation phase progresses, narcissists may withdraw emotionally and physically. They may suddenly stop speaking to you, ignoring your presence as if you don’t exist. They may become distant and show a lack of interest in spending time with you or engaging in activities together. This can leave you feeling invisible, confused, and desperate to “fix” whatever you think went wrong. The silence is not about resolving conflict—it’s about control. By withholding communication, they shift the power dynamic entirely in their favor. 5. Intense Criticism and Nitpicking During the devaluation stage, narcissists often engage in excessive criticism and nitpicking. They may find fault with everything you do or say, no matter how trivial.  This constant criticism is meant to diminish your confidence and self-esteem. It’s important to remember that their criticism is not a reflection of your worth or abilities. 6. Manipulative Behavior Narcissists are skilled manipulators. They may use various tactics to control and manipulate you during the devaluation phase. These manipulative behaviours can include gaslighting, guilt-tripping, love-bombing followed by withdrawal, and playing mind games.  Recognizing these manipulative tactics can empower you to break free from their toxic influence. 7. Sabotaging Your Happiness Narcissists often find ways to ruin your good moments. If you’re excited about an achievement or enjoying time with friends, they might create drama, criticize you, or bring up unrelated issues to shift attention back to themselves. According to them, you shouldn’t have your own life. Every moments in your life should be associated and controlled through narcissist. Hence, This can make you feel afraid of getting joy and stuck up forever with the narcissist as they are discouraging you from seeking joy outside of the relationship. By doing this, they ensure that your focus remains on them and their needs by drinking down the throat. 8. Triangulation and Jealousy Another subtle way narcissists devalue you is through triangulation. Narcissists become increasingly jealous of your skills, strengths, and experiences. So, they may start comparing you to others, creating a competitive rivalry within the relationship. They may bring a third person into conversations, praising them excessively or comparing you unfavorably. For example, they might say, “Why can’t you be more like [person]?” This creates feelings of jealousy and inadequacy while distracting you from their own shortcomings. Read more about Narcissistic Triangulation 9. Discarding and Hoovering The discard phase occurs when the narcissist decides to…

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Why Narcissist Ignores You?

sartaj manikandan013 mins

Narcissists commonly have this super messed up behavior of straight-up ignoring the victim. It’s like they can’t see beyond their own needs and desires, and they just don’t give a darn about the pain they cause others. The victims end up feeling like they don’t matter at all.  Breaking free from this messed-up situation is crucial for the victims, But without knowing the reason behind the behaviors of narcissists, you run in circles with them in the abusive relationship. Narcissists Ignore Your Pain The narcissist’s behaviour of ignoring you is a distressing display of their self-centred nature and lack of empathy. When confronted with the consequences of their actions, they effortlessly turn a blind eye to the suffering they have caused. Their need to maintain an inflated sense of self-worth overshadows any concern for the well-being of others, leaving them feeling dismissed, unheard, and insignificant. It’s like the narcissist thinks they’re untouchable and can do no wrong. They act like they’re immune to any responsibility or accountability. Apart from ignoring your pain, narcissists ignore you to cause pain too. Let’s see how and why below. Reasons Why Narcissists Ignore You Narcissists may ignore you for various reasons like, When You Confront them Lack of Narcissistic Supply from you When You Block Them In the Devaluation Phase with you To Manipulate You To Gaslight you When they fear you And for more reasons. But why? To control of course. To control the situation, To control you, to control your life, and whatnot? Let’s delve deeper into why narcissists are so fond of ignoring the victims. 1. To make you feel Guilty The narcissists tend to blow tiny mistakes way out of proportion, making them seem like the end of the world. So, even if you did something small, they’ll act like you caused a major disaster. When they get mad at you, they might give you the silent treatment. It’s like a punishment to make you feel super guilty for what you did. They want you to crawl back to them, begging for forgiveness like crazy. Read: Narcissists Ignores your Texts at the Right time 2. Make you go Behind Them Do you know how some narcissists just love to play games, especially in romantic relationships? They get a real kick out of it. It’s like they enjoy the excitement of knowing someone is into them, and they actually like being chased.  So, if you notice them suddenly ignoring you, especially during that initial intense phase where they shower you with affection (the love-bombing phase), it might mean they’re starting to feel a little too attached. They want to flip the script and have you chasing after them instead. 3. When they get another Narcissistic Supply Narcissists – they might start ignoring you if they’ve got their eyes on a new target, like another person who can give them that sense of entitlement they crave. You see, narcissistic supply is what they call anything that feeds their ego and makes them feel like they’re the absolute best. They’re kind of addicted to getting approval, attention, and admiration from others. It’s like they depend on it to feel good about themselves, just as much as they need food and water. 4. To Make you Jealous When it comes to narcissists, they might pull this trick by ignoring you by pretending they’re super busy when, in reality, they’re not that occupied at all. Why do they do this? Well, it’s all part of their little game to make themselves seem way more important and exciting than they actually are. They want you to feel jealous of their supposed super cool and happening life, even though it might just be smoke and mirrors. Also, they’ll be all secretive and mysterious about the people they hang out with. It’s like they don’t want you to know who’s in their life, and that’s just to mess with your head and make you feel uncertain. They want you to start acting all needy around them like you desperately want their attention. 5. To gain 24×7 Attention As babies cry to get attention from their moms, sometimes narcissists ignore you just because they crave attention. It’s like they want to see how you’ll react and keep you on your toes. When you confront them about it, they often come up with excuses like, “Oh, sorry, I’ve been busy!” But it doesn’t always make sense, and it can be super frustrating for you. The thing is, they like to stir the pot and play mind games with you. They might ignore your texts and calls but then suddenly like something you post on social media. It’s all a bit confusing, right? Well, that’s exactly what they want. They enjoy messing with your mind and seeing how you respond. Will they stop ignoring you in the future? The thing is, The more you tolerate and enable their behaviour, the more they’ll keep doing it. 6. To initiate a Fight Narcissists kind of thrive on conflicts. Conflict is like a playground for them; they find it interesting and sometimes even enjoyable. They enjoy pushing your buttons and watching you react. By ignoring you, they’re hoping to get under your skin and make you confront them about it. They feed off the conflict and chaos that follows, finding some kind of sick satisfaction in creating tension between you two. 7. To test your tolerance to the abuse When a narcissist ignores you, it’s like they’re putting you to the test to see how much you can handle their mistreatment. It’s as if they want to push your buttons and gauge your tolerance for their abusive behavior. They play this game of silent treatment, making you feel insignificant and unimportant, just to see if you’ll stick around and take their nonsense.  They’re basically using this tactic to see how much control they have over you and how far they can push you without you walking away. It’s like they get some twisted…

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image of man who is a narcissist reacting in anger for blocking them. It has texts related to it.

How does Narcissists React when You Block Them?

Dante013 mins

Breaking up with a narcissist is hard enough, but hitting that “block” button can feel like a new level of liberation. However, don’t be surprised if your newfound freedom has some unwanted side effects. Narcissists may react in a poisonous and nasty manner when you block them, but how could they possibly harm you if you have blocked them? They certainly can, and here’s how.   Blocking a Narcissist Blocking a narcissist can be a daunting task that requires mental preparation. It is indeed a difficult decision, but it’s also an important step toward protecting your mental and emotional well-being.  You should be mentally prepared before blocking a narcissist by earning about narcissists and how they would react if you block them is vital while building a support system of people who validate and support your decision. Setting clear boundaries or no contact is also a part of practicing before blocking a narcissist. From anger and aggression to persistent attempts at contact, understanding how narcissists react when you block them is essential for maintaining your emotional well-being and safety.  What happens When you Ignore a Narcissist? Reactions of Narcissists when you block them Blocking a narcissist can lead to immediate backlash since it will block not just the communication but also the narcissistic supply to the narcissist. Hence, out of anger or narcissistic fear, they react in so many ways to have their way with you to either get back to the relationship or hurt you. Narcissists react to blocking similarly to when they can’t control you. Here’s how,    1. Stalk Blocking a narcissist might seem like the end of a tumultuous relationship, but for them, it’s just the beginning of a disturbing obsession. The moment you cut off their supply of attention and control, they’ll resort to stalking as their first move. Stalking becomes their twisted tool to reclaim their perceived ownership over you and manipulate your emotions. They will let you know that they are stalking you which indirectly projects that they are now a victim of your act. This will trigger your guilt and drawback to the abusive bond again by unblocking them. 2. Ghosting Narcissists be like If the first doesn’t work, then the second will do. Ghosting is a silent treatment that is a manipulative tactic aimed at asserting control and causing emotional distress. By disappearing without explanation, they inflict a sense of confusion and self-doubt, making you question if you were the one at fault. However, ghosting behavior is a reflection of their inability to handle rejection and a desperate attempt to maintain their superiority. 3. Send Flying Monkeys / Enablers If their steps to hoover you back fail, they send others named “Flying Monkeys” or “Narcissist Enablers“. These are individuals the narcissist enlists to do their bidding and attack you on their behalf. When they realize their control over you is slipping due to the block, they may deploy these flying monkeys to harass, guilt-trip, or pressure you into re-establishing contact. These individuals may include friends, family members, or even acquaintances misled by the narcissist’s twisted version of events. The flying monkeys might be innocent too, however, it is better to distance yourself from anyone attempting to coerce you into reconnecting with the narcissist. 4. Gets contact with your close ones Narcissists can’t control themselves from watching you and knowing about you. Moving on is not in their dictionary. Hence, they try to get in contact with your close friends and relatives. This gives them additional access too like garnering sympathy, spreading false narratives, or even creating a divide between you and your loved ones. Hence, Surround yourself with a support system that understands and respects your boundaries, allowing you to heal and regain control of your life.    5. Try reaching you somehow When the patience of the narcissist is over and the narcissist doesn’t get another victim in the meantime, they try reaching you somehow. When they realize their direct access to you has been severed, they resort to sneaky tactics to maintain contact.  They may try reaching out through unknown numbers, fake identities, or anonymous online profiles, hoping to catch you off guard. This covert approach is a desperate attempt to bypass your boundaries and regain control over you.   6. Apologize When there is no way to get back to you, they realize that an apology is what brings you back into control. However, these apologies are often disingenuous and lack genuine remorse. Their primary goal is not to take responsibility for their actions but to manipulate and regain their influence over you. These insincere apologies are part of their elaborate tactics to hoover you back into their web of manipulation. They might pull out their charm and pretend to be humble, making it tricky to see their real intentions. Spotting these fake apologies is crucial to safeguard yourself from more emotional harm.   7. Smear Campaigns Although the above points hurt us due to the malicious behavior of narcissists, there are activities of narcissists that are done in an act of revenge or anger. In the list, smear campaigns are one.  When they are unable to handle rejection, they may turn to ruin your reputation if they are unable to deal with rejection and loss of control to preserve face and retain their image of superiority.  They propagate false rumors, half-truths, and distortions about you in order to alter others’ perspectives and turn people against you through a smear campaign. This premeditated and cruel behavior is intended to socially isolate you, making you feel helpless and powerless. 8. Threaten you Blocking a narcissist can trigger dangerous and manipulative behavior, often leading to threatening actions aimed at regaining control. These threats can take various distressing forms, such as blackmailing, where they may attempt to use personal information or intimate images to coerce and manipulate you.  Their goal is to instill fear and vulnerability, making you reconsider your decision to block them. This doesn’t mean, you should go…

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How to Make a Narcissist Fear You?

Dante023 mins

Narcissists often seem very confident and fearless. But have you ever wondered: what if they can feel fear too? It’s an interesting idea – the person who usually makes others feel afraid might actually be afraid themselves. But do they really face their fears? Let’s find out how to make a narcissist fear! Narcissists may seem like they have it all together, but beneath their grandiose facade lies a dark secret: a deep-seated fear of inadequacy and vulnerability. So, how do you get the fear out of the abuser who frightened you for the time being? Can Narcissist Feel Fear? Yes, narcissists can feel fear, even if they don’t show it in the way most people do. Their abusive and controlling behavior often hides deep insecurities and fears that they try to mask with a strong or intimidating front. A narcissist can be frightened in the same way as anyone else. However, narcissists may experience fear differently from others due to their exaggerated sense of self-importance and desire for admiration. A study published in the journal Personality and Social Psychology Review found that narcissists were more likely to experience fear in response to threats to their self-esteem or ego, such as criticism or rejection, rather than physical threats or danger.  The study also found that narcissists may be less likely to seek social support in response to fear, as they may view it as a sign of weakness or vulnerability. What do Narcissists Fear? Narcissists are inherently afraid of anything that might expose their vulnerabilities and imperfections. Any situation or interaction that threatens to dismantle this carefully crafted persona is met with fear like the following, Rejection Narcissists often fear being abandoned or rejected because their self-esteem depends on how others see them. If they feel someone is pulling away, it can trigger a sense of panic. Failure They might seem confident, but inside, they can be terrified of failure. Losing status, respect, or control over a situation can feel like a personal attack on their worth. Being Exposed Many narcissists create a “perfect” image of themselves. They fear that their flaws, weaknesses, or mistakes will be revealed, which could make them feel humiliated. Loss of Control Narcissists thrive on control. If they lose power over someone or something, it can leave them feeling vulnerable and scared. Criticism Even mild criticism can feel like a big threat to a narcissist. They fear being seen as “less than” or unworthy in the eyes of others.   How do Narcissists react to Fear? Before we talk about how to make a narcissist afraid, let’s first warn you about how they might react when they feel scared. When faced with fear—like rejection, failure, or criticism—narcissists often respond with defensive behaviors to protect their fragile self-esteem. Initially, they might react with denial, dismissing the threat or pretending it doesn’t bother them. If the fear deepens, they may escalate to anger, blaming others, or lashing out to regain control and dominance. This response helps them avoid confronting their vulnerability. In extreme cases, their reactions can become abusive or manipulative, such as gaslighting, emotional outbursts, or even aggressive intimidation. Their goal is to shift the focus away from their fear and onto others, ensuring their image of superiority remains intact. These responses, while harmful to others, are a way for narcissists to shield themselves from feeling powerless or exposed. Escape Narcissist’s Reaction to Fear How to make a Narcissist Fear You? Here are a few steps that can make a narcissist feel uncomfortable or fearful—not out of malice, but to help you maintain control and protect yourself. It is always better to make a narcissist back off from you! 1. Set Strong Boundaries A Step that always comes first when dealing with narcissists. They fear losing control over others. By setting and sticking to firm boundaries, you show them they can’t manipulate or dominate you. For example: “I won’t tolerate being spoken to disrespectfully. If it happens, I will leave the conversation.” Setting boundaries is not just for narcissists, it’s a life skill that everyone needs to know to give others only limited access to your life. To other people, setting boundaries is a form of understanding whereas, to narcissists, it’s not. Narcissists fear boundaries.    2. Don’t Argue After Saying “No” When you say “no” to a narcissist, they will often try to argue with you or wear you down into compliance. To avoid this, it’s important not to argue after saying “no” because that’s when they’ll start trying to convince you. This is because, narcissists always use your opinions against you in the form of gaslighting and if you don’t argue after saying “no,” narcissists may fear that they’re losing control over you. They may become frustrated and try to manipulate you into changing your mind.   3. Withdraw Attention Narcissists crave attention and validation. Ignoring their tantrums, silent treatments, or dramatic behaviors can make them feel powerless. Practice the “gray rock” technique: be emotionally neutral, giving them nothing to feed off.   4.  Don’t show empathy Does the narcissist expect empathy from you? Yes, narcissists use empathy as a tool to gain attention and validation from their victims. Especially covert narcissists tend to use their vulnerabilities (let’s say, The narcissist cries whenever you want to fight them for their mistake) to the victim and get instant control as well as validation. But if you stop showing the validation out of empathy, the narcissist might start getting the reality of their vulnerabilities and fear that their vulnerabilities won’t be validated by you.    5. Start Engaging with their Friends Narcissists tend to show off themselves as great socializers by having more friends. But once you start socializing with their friends, they would start panicking and feel insecure about this. This is because narcissists claim to have friends who are close but they’re not. Friends always know about the narc and remember how the narcissist treated them.  Hence, you socializing with them would reveal…

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How Narcissists React when they can’t Control You?

Dante016 mins

Are you tired of constantly feeling controlled and manipulated by a narcissistic individual in your life? It’s time to change things to right. Break their controlling cycle and discover how narcissists react when they can’t control you.  Narcissists are individuals who have an inflated sense of self-importance and an excessive need for admiration and attention. In order to attain those, they need a sense of control over others. So, narcissists exploit those in their lives by manipulating and showing no empathy for them to gain control over them.  In relationships, this can manifest as attempts to dominate and control their partners through tactics such as gaslighting, bullying, and coercion. It’s important to recognize these patterns of behavior and seek help in addressing them if you are in a relationship with a narcissistic individual. Before getting into the article, we want you to know this platform is a community for Narcissists survivors where you can vent out your emotions through the comment section of our articles you relate to. You can either comment and respond to the people you relate to and also register with Udante if you want to have a private and friendly conversation with us for free.  Why do Narcissists control others? Narcissists want to control others to maintain a sense of power and to regulate their own insecurities and self-esteem. By controlling their environment and the people in it, they can avoid feeling vulnerable and ensure that they always receive the admiration and attention they crave.  Additionally, control allows them to manipulate situations to their advantage and avoid being held accountable for their actions. By exerting control, narcissists can also feed their sense of superiority and assert their dominance over others. How do Narcissists feel when they control others? When a narcissist is able to control others, they often feel a sense of power, validation, and superiority. This reinforces their belief in their own grandiose sense of self-importance and further fuels their need for admiration and attention. It is worth noting, however, that this sense of satisfaction is typically short-lived and also wants more. So, the need for control often becomes a vicious cycle that is difficult to break. It is possible that the act of controlling others releases dopamine in the brains of narcissists. Dopamine is a neurotransmitter that is associated with feelings of pleasure, reward, and motivation.  Controlling others can be a pleasurable and rewarding experience for narcissists as it reinforces their sense of power, superiority, and self-importance, leading to a release of dopamine in the brain and making the behavior more addicting. How do Narcissists react when they can’t control others? When a narcissist can’t control you, it brings out their inner insecurities. Narcissists when their self-esteem and pride get failed leading them to get anxious and feel defeated. Hence, they may react in any of the following ways Become Angry Birds When they can’t control someone, it is common for narcissists to react with frustration and anger when their attempts at control are challenged, as their sense of superiority is often tied to their ability to control others.  When their sense of superiority is threatened, they may lash out in anger, either through verbal or physical aggression, or passive-aggressive behavior. This reaction is often rooted in a need to reassert their dominance and regain control. Malignant and grandiose narcissists are more likely to react in this way. Gets Disappointed in the Core They may feel frustrated and inadequate when they can’t control a situation, leading to feelings of disappointment. This can be particularly challenging for them as their self-pride gets down and the feeling of grandiosity drops. Some narcissists may have a greater need to control others as a means of regulating their own emotions and insecurities. When they are unable to do so, they may experience greater levels of disappointment. Withdrawal from everything In some cases, they may withdraw from the situation and avoid any further interaction if they feel that their attempts at control have failed. This can involve physically withdrawing from the situation, such as leaving the room or ending a conversation, or it can involve emotional withdrawal, such as becoming distant or unresponsive. This can be a way for them to avoid facing their own limitations and inadequacies. On the other hand, they do withdraw in the form of ghosting. This helps narcissists to regain attention and control over you. By ghosting you, the narcissist can communicate their dissatisfaction and exert a passive form of control. Shameless gets shame If their attempts at control are publicly exposed or challenged, they may experience feelings of shame and embarrassment. Their sense of superiority is often tied to their ability to control others, and when this is challenged, they may feel a deep sense of humiliation.  Narcissists may try to hide their feelings of shame by rationalizing their behavior and shifting the blame onto others. Below reactions by narcissists is the cause of the excess shame, they feel when they can’t control you. Denial as if nothing happened Denial is a common defense mechanism used by narcissists, and it can be a barrier to growth and change. Narcissists deny that they have failed to control you and experiencing negative emotions. For example, imagine a narcissist is told by a friend that they were rude and dismissive during a conversation. Instead of admitting that they might have acted inappropriately, the narcissist may say something like, “I was just having a bad day, you’re overreacting.”  Projection to protect them They may project their own feelings and behavior like, accusing you of trying to control them or of having the same motivations that they themselves have. In such cases, the narcissist will point out you as the problem rather than admit their controlling attempts. The narcissists might say “It was you who trying to control me”. In another instance, if a narcissist is unable to convince someone to do what they want, and instead of accepting that they were not successful in exerting their control, they blame the…

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