Relationship Archives | UDANTE
November 19, 2024

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banner image with text ignoring a narcissist with images of two individuals

What happens on Ignoring a Narcissist?

Dante019 mins

Narcissists generally don’t like being ignored, as it stifles their desire for constant validation and control.They might react with anger, or attempt to gain their attention or pursue revenge. It is therefore crucial to handle these situations with caution and a sense of support There’s nothing that the person who is a narcissist would rather than be ignored. If you do not take care of a narcissist you run the risk of a likelihood that they become angry. Now, the question is “What occurs when you do not pay attention to an Narcissist? And how is it going affect your life?”. We will go through this article to find out more about this. What is the impact on you?   What does Ignoring mean to a Narcissist? Narcissists thrive on a continuous flow of admiration and attention from other people, commonly described as their “narcissistic supply.’ This is vital to maintain their self-esteem and conceal their deep-seated fears. Each compliment, each acknowledgment and every affirmation boosts their self-image. If this attention is cut off, narcissists experience a deep loss, similar to physical loss. The loss of attention could trigger a variety of responses that originate in their need to replenish their narcissistic quota. This is akin to stopping the endless fake drama. The act of ignoring a narcissist could cause intense reactions, such as anger, manipulation and self-destruction if their need for attention is not fulfilled. On the contrary, You should also know Why Narcissists Ignore you? Is Ignoring the right way to get away from the narcissist? A narcissist might be able to sabotage others’ feelings and sabotage their self-worth. So, taking revenge could cause you to be just as selfish as the people around you. Follow the no-contact rule, and then walk away from them. Neglecting a narcissist is an effective way of getting away from their manipulation and lessening their influence upon your personal life. This is known as”the “gray rock” method. By minimizing emotional responses and keeping a neutral, non-interesting appearance, you decrease the narcissist’s desire to interact with you. You should Read: Best Things That Happens After Leaving the Narcissist How Narcissists will React being Ignored? Narcissists usually react negatively to being ignored since it challenges their self-esteem and their constant need for admiration and attention from you. They can become angry, irritable or even rageful and they might try to get your attention by different methods, including guilt-tripping or pleading, or making threats. In some instances, they might even shout at you physically or verbally. When you ignore a narcissist, he/she might assume that you have figured them for who they are. Hence you can expect the reaction exactly similar when you know about narcissist and their narcissistic tendencies. Let’s see what are the best chances of how narcissists will react to being ignored.    1. Ghosting you Back Narcissists are like if the first method doesn’t work but the second one does, then the first will work. Ghosting is a method of treatment that is a devious tactic to assert control and create emotional stress. By not addressing them, they cause feelings of confusion and self-doubt, causing you to think you are the culprit. However, their behavior of ghosting is a sign of their ability to deal with rejection and is a desperate effort to preserve their status.   2. Stalk Forever The act of ignoring a narcissist may appear to be a way of putting a stop to the destructive narcissistic bond however, in their eyes, this is the beginning of an ominous obsession. Once you’ve cut off their control and attention then they’ll begin to stalk you as their first step. Stalking can be used as a way to assert their authority over you and control your feelings. They’ll inform you that they’re stalking you, which implies that they’re the victim of your behavior. This can trigger guilt and pull you back to the abusive bond once more by removing them.   3. Contact your loved ones Narcissists can’t resist looking at you and observing your actions. By ignoring them, they are not receiving enough narc supply. Moving on isn’t in their vocabulary. Therefore, they attempt to contact your closest relatives and friends. They gain access, such as gaining sympathies, spreading false stories and even creating a rift in between yourself and family members. Therefore, surround yourself with a community that understands and respects your boundaries, which will allow your body to recover and gain control over your life.   4. Send Flying Monkeys and enablers If their efforts to distract you and draw your attention fail then they will send other people named “Flying monkeys” and ” Narcissist Enablers“. These are people whom the narcissist has enlisted to perform their own bidding and to attack you on their behalf. When they realize that their control over you is declining due to blockage and they are able to deploy the flying monkeys to intimidate you, guilt-trip or press you to take back the drugs from you. They could be relatives, friends or acquaintances who are who are misled by the narcissist’s delusional story of the events. The flying monkeys could also be innocent, however, it is better to avoid anyone who tries to convince you to return to the person who is a narcissist. Also read, Reaction of Narcissists when blocked 5. Apologize for sake If there’s no way to reach, they understand that an apology will bring you back under control. But, the apology is typically untrue and does not show genuine regret. Their main goal is not to be accountable for their actions, but rather to manipulate them and gain power over their victims. Insincere apology statements are a part of their elaborate strategy to lure you back to their web of manipulation. They may play up their charm and appear modest, making it difficult to discern their true motives. Recognizing fake apology messages is vital to protect yourself from emotional damage   6. Try to provoke you…

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image of Two skeleton kissing each other saying "What happens when two narcissists date"

How do Two Narcissists Live in a Relationship?

Dante010 mins

A Narcissistic couple may look like having a joyous and romantic life together, but you may not know the dark truth that happens. Let’s look at what happens when two narcissists date and how two narcissists live in a relationship.    A narcissist is a person with a personality disorder characterized by excessive self-love and self-obsession. In relationships, narcissistic individuals may initially seem charming and attentive, but their true colors soon surface as they prioritize their own needs above their partner’s and have a lack of empathy for others. They may use love as a tool to manipulate and control their partner, leading to unhealthy and unequal dynamics in the relationship.   Before getting into the article, we want you to know this platform is a community for Narcissists survivors where you can vent out your emotions through the comment section of our articles you relate to. You can either comment and respond to the people you relate to and also register with Udante if you want to have a private and friendly conversation with us for free.    Can Two narcissist Fall in Love? Yes, it is possible for two narcissists to form a relationship. However, their relationship is likely to be tumultuous and marked by manipulation, control, and a constant struggle for power. As both partners prioritize themselves above the relationship, there may be a lack of intimacy, emotional depth, and mutual support. These factors can contribute to the relationship’s instability and ultimately lead to its demise.   How do narcissists fall in love with each other? Two narcissists may love each other because they see themselves reflected in each other and feel validated by the relationship. They may also find each other to be a source of supply, fulfilling their need for admiration and attention. Narcissists may be attracted to other narcissists because they see a reflection of themselves in the other person and feel validated by the relationship. They may also find each other to be a source of supply, fulfilling their need for admiration and attention. Additionally, both partners may enjoy the power dynamic in the relationship, with each trying to control the other. The relationship may become a competition for who is the superior one, with both partners seeking to assert their dominance.   Relationship Between Two Narcissists When two narcissists date and become a narcissistic couple, it can turn into a tumultuous and volatile experience for both parties and eventually collapse. When two narcissists fall in love, they may initially feel it to be a thrilling and intense experience.  They may idealize each other and see the relationship as a perfect match. However, as the relationship progresses, the power struggles between the two individuals become increasingly evident. Despite the harm it causes to both partners, they may struggle to leave the relationship too. So, this will increase the duration of this narcissistic relationship prolonging.    What happens when two narcissists date? When two narcissists fall in love, they may initially react in the following ways: Idealization: They may idealize each other and see the relationship as a perfect match, with both individuals sharing a grandiose sense of self-importance. Mutual Mirroring: They may engage in mutual mirroring, where they both reflect and amplify each other’s positive traits, leading to a heightened sense of validation and self-esteem. Intense Attraction: The combination of idealization and mutual mirroring may result in an intense attraction between the two narcissists. Power Struggles: As the relationship progresses, the power struggles between the two individuals may become increasingly evident. Each partner may try to assert their dominance and control over the other. Manipulation: In an effort to maintain control, they may engage in manipulation, trying to control their partner’s emotions and thoughts. Emotional Abuse: The toxic dynamics of their mutual Narcissistic Personality Disorder can result in emotional abuse, with each partner trying to undermine the other’s sense of self-worth. Difficulty Leaving: Due to their strong need for validation and control, they may struggle to leave the relationship, despite the harm it causes to both partners. We can classify this whole period of the Relationship between two narcissists into two different phases namely Sweet Phase and the Toxic Phase.    Sweet Phase of a Narcissistic Couple The initial phase of a relationship between two narcissists can be described as Sweet Phase and it is intense and exhilarating. Both individuals may feel a strong attraction to each other due to their mutual self-absorption and grandiose sense of self-importance.  Since they share mutual personality traits, they may feel like they are made for each other, however, this excitement is often short-lived. As the relationship progresses, the toxic dynamics of their mutual Narcissistic Personality Disorder can become increasingly evident, leading to the collapse of the relationship.   Toxic Phase of a Narcissistic Couple The toxic phase of a relationship between two narcissists is characterized by power struggles, manipulation, and emotional abuse. As the initial excitement of idealization and mirroring fades, the relationship becomes increasingly hostile, with each partner trying to assert their dominance and control over the other.  The relationship becomes an endless cycle of emotional abuse, with each partner trying to undermine the other’s sense of self-worth and control their behavior. Ultimately, this toxic dynamic can lead to the end of the relationship, causing significant emotional damage to both individuals. During this Toxic phase, there occurs more drama, aggression, fights, manipulations, and so on. We can witness a whole Narcissist vs Narcissist battle.   Read to know about Fights between different types of narcissists   Ending with a Note It’s important to note that individuals with narcissistic traits can experience significant personal growth and improvement with proper therapy and self-reflection. However, without effort to change, a relationship between two narcissists is likely to be unstable and may eventually end in disappointment and heartbreak.  Also, narcissists possess no will to change and are renowned for lacking self-growth. So, try to avoid getting included between a narcissistic couple as it can be exhausting and abusive as…

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How do narcissists react when they know you know

How Narcissists Reacts When they know you know about them?

Dante219 mins

Narcissists are experts at hiding their true faces and unveiling that face to the public might be the worst nightmare they could possibly expect. But, when the narcissist knows you know about them, these 11 reactions listed in this article may burst out of them.    Narcissists are often secretive in nature, as they seek to maintain control over the perception of themselves and their actions. They keep their true selves hidden and only reveal certain aspects of themselves to others. Narcissists also have a tendency to hide their true feelings and intentions, in order to manipulate and control others. Why narcissists are secretive? People with narcissistic traits often tend to have affairs, relationships or financial dealings that they keep hidden from others. To avoid getting caught, narcissists keep things secret. They are most prone to lying and deceit, in order to maintain control over the situation and to prevent being exposed.  Narcissists want to present a certain image of themselves to the world, and they fear that if their true selves were exposed, they would lose power and control over others. In order to protect the image of perfection that is created by them, they lie and deceive everyone around them.   How do Narcissists react when they know you know?  Narcissists are known for their inflated sense of self-importance and their tendency to exploit others for their own gain. When a narcissist knows that you know about their behavior, they may react in a number of ways to avoid their self-esteem getting destroyed. Here are 11 potential reactions that a narcissist may have when they know that you know about their behavior:   1. Refusal and Denial Narcissists have an inflated sense of self-importance, and they may not be able to accept the idea that they have done something wrong.  They may deny that their behavior is problematic, and try to convince you that you are mistaken or overreacting. This reaction is an attempt to avoid accountability and to maintain their image of perfection. For example, your narcissistic partner may simply deny any of your confronts telling you that you are overreacting when you bring up incidents of them yelling or throwing things.   2. Blame-shifting and Making Reasons Narcissists often try to avoid taking responsibility for their actions. It is easy for them to shift the blame for their behavior onto you, accusing you of causing their actions or of being too sensitive.  They may also blame external circumstances, such as work stress or financial problems, for their behavior. This reaction is an attempt to avoid accountability and maintain control over the situation. For example, If your partner cheats, they blame you for their actions, saying that you were not paying enough attention to them and that’s why they sought affection elsewhere.   3. Gaslighting  Narcissists may use manipulation tactics to control and exploit others. One such tactic is gaslighting, where they try to make you question your own perceptions and memories. If you were not strong in their confronts, you may fall right into the gaslights and believe their claims to be true. Denying any events that took place is an act to convince you that you imagined them, in an attempt to make you doubt yourself and your understanding of the situation. Making you Doubt yourself is one of the worst effects of gaslighting that victims always suffer. This reaction is an attempt to maintain control over the relationship and to make it harder for you to hold them accountable for their actions. For example, When you bring up instances of them demeaning or insulting you in front of others, a narcissist may tell you that you’re imagining things.   4. Withdrawal or Silent treatments Since narcissists are not ready to face you as you know about them now, they try to withdraw from the relationship, either physically or emotionally, in an attempt to avoid accountability for their behavior.  They may stop communicating with you or refuse to engage in discussions about the issue. This reaction is an attempt to avoid accountability and maintain control over the relationship. For example, Your partner may stop talking to you and refuse to engage in any conversations when you confront them about their behavior, in an attempt to avoid accountability.   5. Aggression Narcissists may become angry and aggressive when their behavior is called into question. Aggression is mostly found in narcissists who are malignant and other types of narcissists show comparatively low aggression. Lashing out at you in an attempt to intimidate or control you, using verbal abuse, threats, or even physical violence are the parts of aggression they express when they know you know about the narcissists.  This reaction is an attempt to assert dominance and maintain control over the relationship.  For example, A narcissist with whom you have any relationship will become angry and aggressive when you confront them about their lies and may raise their voice or use threatening language to try to intimidate you into dropping the subject. It will turn into verbal abuse, bringing out the past and any irrelevant scenarios to make your point invalid.    6. Projection When the narcissist came to know you know about them, he/she may accuse you of the exact behaviors that they are guilty of in order to divert attention away from their own acts. They may accuse you of being selfish, controlling, or manipulative in order to divert attention away from their own conduct. This reaction is an attempt to avoid accountability and retain control over the relationship. For example, if your partner cheats and you confront them, the narcissistic partner will try to accuse you of cheating with someone else out of the blue to divert or validate their behavior.   7. Triangulation Narcissistic Triangulation is an act of bringing a third person into a relationship to cause confusion, abuse, and control the victim. Narcissists may try to create division between you and others in your life, by spreading rumors or lies…

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Top cheating patterns of a covert narcissists

Cheating Patterns of the Covert Narcissists

Dante011 mins

Narcissists always follow certain patterns in their abusive behavior. They follow a unique pattern to cheat their partners. Cheating gets tougher to find and hard to get over when it is a covert narcissist especially.   Covert narcissists often appear to be humble, shy, or even self-effacing, but underneath this facade lies a deep-seated need for admiration, validation, and control.   Love and Covert Narcissist A covert narcissist is a type of narcissist who is less obvious in their narcissism than an overt or “classic” narcissist. They may appear shy, humble, or even self-effacing, but underneath they have the same sense of entitlement and lack of empathy as an overt narcissist. They may also use manipulation, control, and passive-aggressive behavior to get their way. Covert narcissists may have a difficult time with love, as they tend to be emotionally unavailable and can’t empathize with others. They may also be prone to idealizing and then devaluing their partners. They may also use love as a tool for manipulation, rather than genuinely caring for the other person.   Why do covert narcissists cheat their partners? Covert narcissists may cheat because they have a strong need for attention and validation from different persons. They may seek out new partners to feed their ego, or to gain a sense of power over others. Narcissists lack empathy, and may not see the harm that their actions cause to others. They have a great sense of self-esteem and believe that they have the right to cheat and that their needs are more important than their partner’s emotions. If you are dating a person who possesses the traits of a covert narcissist, here are some cheating patterns they might do for you.   The cheating Patterns of a Covert Narcissist Covert narcissists are known for being highly secretive and often hide their infidelities. They may cheat in a variety of ways, and some of the most common cheating patterns of a covert narcissist that include:   1. Emotional affairs A person who is covertly narcissistic may form deep emotional connections with people outside of their primary relationship. This can happen through social media or online platforms, where they may feel anonymous and free to express themselves without judgment.    They may also seek out people who they believe will be a better match for them than their current partner. These emotional affairs can be just as damaging as physical affairs, as they can drain emotional energy and create distance in the primary relationship. For example,  Your partner may have a close friendship with a colleague at work. They may confide in each other about their problems and feelings, and may even flirt with each other. They may feel that this colleague understands them better than you and may start to develop feelings for them. Your partner may not physically cheat on you, but the emotional connection they have with this colleague is a form of infidelity.   2. Manipulation  The act of manipulating others is a primary tactic of a narcissist. In terms of Covert narcissists, they may manipulate their partner into believing that they are faithful, while secretly engaging in infidelity. They may use manipulation tactics such as lying, withholding information, and playing the victim to cover their tracks.  Narcissists also tend to be very good at playing the victim. They may manipulate situations and make their partner feel guilty for questioning their loyalty, in order to keep them from suspecting anything. For example,  Your partner may cheat on you but then manipulate you into thinking that they were not at fault. For example, they may blame you for not paying enough attention to them or for being too controlling, which led them to cheat. They may also convince you that they were drunk, depressed or that it was a one-time mistake.   3. Gaslighting Covert narcissists may use gaslighting tactics to blame their partner for their own infidelity or to make them question their own reality. They may deny any wrongdoing, even when presented with evidence to the contrary, and may make their partner feel like they are crazy for suspecting anything. This can lead to the partner feeling unsupported and isolated, which can make it difficult to leave the relationship. For example, Your partner may cheat on you and then convince you that you are overreacting or imagining things. They may also make you question your own memory, for example, by saying that you misremember the events or that you misunderstood their intentions.   4. Compartmentalization Covert narcissists may keep their relationships and affairs separate and compartmentalized so that their partner does not suspect anything. They may be very discreet in their activities and may have different phone numbers or email addresses for different people. They may also keep their affairs hidden from family and friends, which can make it difficult for the partner to discover the infidelity. For example, Your partner may cheat on you by keeping their relationships and affairs separate and compartmentalized. They may have a separate phone number or email address for their lover, and may only see them at certain times or places. He/She may also keep their affairs hidden from family and friends, which can make it difficult for you to discover the cheating behavior.   5. Denial Covert narcissists may deny any wrongdoing or infidelity, even when presented with evidence to the contrary. They may use manipulation tactics such as lying, withholding information, and playing the victim to cover their tracks. They may also make their partner feel guilty for questioning their fidelity, in order to keep them from suspecting anything. For example, Your partner may cheat on you and then deny any wrongdoing when confronted. They may use manipulation tactics such as lying, withholding information, and playing the victim to cover their tracks. They may even accuse you of being paranoid or not trusting them. They may also refuse to acknowledge any evidence that you may have that proves to cheat.    A Final Suggestion…

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Answers to Why does my narcissist never come back?

Why does my narcissist never come back?

Dante016 mins

After reading all the web articles and forums, you may be wondering why the narcissist who left you has never returned. “Am I not worthy enough to be hoovered by the narcissist?” you may wonder. This article may alter your mind.   First and foremostly, it is good that you are currently away from the narcissist, no matter whether you left or the narcissist discarded you. It may be unfortunate that you didn’t have a formal closure with your narcissist. But having a formal closure is nearly impossible to have with a narcissist. But if you think of having a formal closure when the narcissist tries to hoover or come back into being in a relationship and wonder why didn’t they come back, here are some reasons for it.    Even though the narcissist didn’t come back as you guessed, it is not advisable to feel defeated or worthless as the narcissist does want you to feel like that.    Do read the best things that happen after leaving the narcissist.   Whether you had gone no contact or the narcissist discarded you, the good thing is you are staying away from the narcissist right now. Life after leaving the narcissist will be a roller coaster of emotions as you deal with traumas and simultaneously heal and develop self-worth and boundaries. The feeling of lowering down your self-forth for not being hoovered back by the narcissist is also a part of it.   You don’t have to feel down anymore as nothing is wrong with your side. Here is some valid intel about why your narcissist never came back to you.    Why does the narcissist never come back to hoover you?   The narcissist will never come back if the narcissist has another supply, feels the victim can no longer be manipulated, doesn’t want to seem vulnerable in front of the victim, or knows the victim will never heal from the traumatic bonds. Putting your self-worth into hoovering by a narcissist who doesn’t value you is not worth time.  If you are valuing the love you had with the narcissist yet, you might feel guilty about leaving the narcissist. This may push you into self-doubts that you are the problem in the relationship. But the truth is, it has nothing to do with you, and the narcissist has failed you.  Narcissists are never successful in acquiring healthy relationships as they are just trying to fill the void in their souls.  If you still bother about the narcissist who never came back, here is the list of why the narcissist never wants to hoover you again. Hope this intel clarifies your doubts and heals you faster.  Udante recommends that you read our blogs to learn more about narcissism. You can use the comment box to vent and share your experiences regarding this subject. If you need to talk to someone about your feelings and vent, visit here and schedule a session. Not wanting to look vulnerable in front of the victim   Unless one is a vulnerable narcissist, you cannot see a narcissist who seems weak around you. This is because of narcissists’ inflated sense of self-importance, which leads them to believe that by apologizing and acting as though they love you back in order to hoover, they might lose control over the victim.  Narcissists disgust the feeling of looking vulnerable as well as giving you the validation you deserve. So, if your narcissist never comes back, understand that their self-importance is greater and more toxic than you imagine.    You can no longer be manipulated.   Narcissists are more conscious of your awareness level. They can feel the emotions you endure, the anger you express, and the deprivation of love. If they found that you came to know about them, and developed self-worth and boundaries, then it is obvious that you can no longer be manipulated.  Hence, the narcissist will choose to leave you and never come back again. It is good, isn’t it?  If you think this is the reason your narcissist has never tried to hoover back, then you are in the safe place.    Got another narcissistic supply   Narcissists never tend to stay in a relationship for long. But it might be heart-breaking when your narcissists get another partner with whom they seem to have a healthy and long-lasting relationship.  However, here is the reality behind that.  1. Your narcissist may depict that their current relationship is more successful than they had with you. Faking the circumstance is what narcissists are specialists at. They know that you are stalking their profile (even if it was once in a while). So, the narcissists plot to exhibit their current relationship just to hurt you.  2. The narcissist’s new partner is a good supply with more resources. The narcissist might find sticking with them worth it even though the relationship was abusive and toxic. The new supplier will also suffer and maybe worse than you.  3. Narcissists might have relationships with people with any one of these personalities. The personality traits include beta, healers, and others who act as better narcissistic enablers, who are capable of having a prolonged relationship with the narcissists.  Whatever it is, it isn’t worth getting jealous and feeling not-worthy enough for a person who refuses to see your worth.            View this post on Instagram                       A post shared by Udante (@udanteofficial)   Afraid of narcissistic injury   Narcissists are afraid of shame, so all they do in their lives is avoid getting shame by manipulating people to validate them. Giving the taste of their behaviors back leads to either complete rage or an everlasting narcissistic injury Once the narcissist leaves you, they think about the after-effects of discarding the person before trying to hoover you back. For example, “What if you didn’t respond to our hoovering tactics?” “What if you discarded them back?” “What if you expose their traits?” Can’t believe that the…

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Good things happen after leaving a narcissist

10 best things that happen after leaving the narcissist

Dante017 mins

We all know that leaving the Narcissist is tough. However, here you are! Willing to know about the good things that happen after leaving the narcissist. Although walking away from a narcissist may be a post-traumatic journey fraught with self-doubt and anxiety, let’s concentrate on the positive aspects to help you see clearly and heal faster.   After so many struggles, hardships, and withstanding abuses, a victim of narcissism has no option except to either stay captive for the rest of their lives or leave the narcissist for peace. If you are here reading this article, you might have already left or are planning on leaving the narcissist.    You can be in a state of confusion and self-doubts right now about whether going No-Contact will benefit you or not. So, reading this article might give a clear view of the positive aspects of leaving the narcissist.    Udante recommends that you read our blogs to learn more about narcissism. You can use the comment box to vent and share your experiences regarding this subject. If you need to talk to someone about your feelings and vent, visit here and schedule a session.   Now, let’s get into the article.    What are the benefits after leaving the narcissist?   Leaving a narcissist may hit hard as your obsession with the person who manipulated you into an abusive relationship is strong and painful to get over that.    You may be guilty of leaving someone behind and uncertain whether your decision is correct or not. Some people believe that leaving an abusive partner makes them a narcissist. As a matter of fact, it is what every narcissistic survivor is experiencing after leaving the narcissist.    This is why you should read the article Am I a narcissist?   Leaving the narcissist is the only possible way for any victim to exit from an abusive relationship. You can neither change them nor call out on them for obvious reasons that may get things worse.    Is leaving the narcissist the best way?   Although stepping away from the trauma bond of a narcissistic relationship is painful and fraught with concerns and self-doubts, it opens the path for you to recover and build self-worth and boundaries, making your life better than it was in an abusive relationship.   Some of the best things that will happen in your life after leaving the narcissist are listed here.    1. End of endless monologues   When you are in a narcissistic relationship, they make you believe it as a mutual relationship at first, but in no time, a narcissist will start to monologue. The self-pride wants to show off who they are and what they are capable of. They want to be your center of attention, even if it takes all your energy, time, and money.    In a narcissistic relationship, your opinions don’t matter until they speak; Unfortunately, they won’t stop monologuing about themselves.   When you leave a narcissistic relationship, the endless validation you gave to their never-ending monologues comes to an end. The pressure to agree with their pointless opinions while dismissing yours will end. Isn’t that what freedom looks like to you? Yes, it is.   2. No more walking on eggshells   Victims of narcissists were constantly subjected to gaslighting, silent treatments, and narcissistic tantrums. Through this, they have complete control over your emotions. If you want to do something on your own, you will be afraid of triggering the narcissist.   The neverending fear of not triggering the narcissist and preserving the relationship from falling apart is what it feels like walking on eggshells.    View this post on Instagram   A post shared by Udante (@udanteofficial) Leaving the narcissist is when you realize that the relationship you worked so hard to keep has already fallen apart. Perhaps the relationship hasn’t even begun to end.   3. Full stop to meaningless fights and anxieties   Waking up to quarrels, tantrums, and battling different fights every day is how a relationship with a narcissist goes. Some get hurt, and some fight back, but it always is a nightmare to be in an abusive relationship.      Why should you fight for nothing if they have no will to change or genuinely apologize?   Life becomes calm and peaceful after leaving a narcissist, even though you struggle to move on. All you have to do is acknowledge the calm and peace in the absence of the narcissist. Embrace it and feel the difference.    4. You are enough for yourself   Giving everything to the narcissist that is meant for you is what every victim has done in a narcissistic relationship. Whatever you have done, the narcissist won’t get fulfilled. Their soul is like an empty hollow that can never be filled. Despite that, they ask for more attention and validation while disrespecting you.    The feeling of not being enough to your partner is hurtful. You don’t deserve that!   After leaving the narcissist, it is time to create self-worth and self-love. Validating oneself and admitting your innocence makes you sufficient for yourself. Even if the narcissist has isolated you from your friends and family, you cannot get back on track unless you first become enough for yourself.   5. Have a full seat, not on edge as before   Have you ever held your breath to stop crying and wet your pillows with tears in silence? You most likely would. The inability to resolve issues with the narcissist you love and accept what they gaslight pushes you over the edge, filling you with anxiety and stress. It feels like you are in the vicinity of their explosion.    The narcissist will drink down your throat and keep you on the verge of an emotional breakdown. The abuse you have indulged has no words to describe and no one to listen to.   As a turnaround, you will feel safe and secure after leaving the narcissist. You may…

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35 narcissistic red flags you missed out

35 Narcissistic Red flags Checklist

Dante041 mins

Identifying the narcissist at an earlier stage is not something that always happens. Survivors wish they knew about the red flags of the narcissist earlier and avoided the narcissist. But it isn’t that easy to find snakes in the forest, isn’t it? This article lists the narcissistic red flags for you to resemble your past, learn in the present, and be ready for the future.    Red flags of a narcissist are often neglected by the people’s ignorance and love for the person. The one who ignores the red flags is the one who gets trapped in an abusive relationship. Since narcissists are masters at manipulating you and hiding their noxious secrets, ignoring the red flags isn’t your fault. Apart from all that, you are now looking for solutions, learning about narcissism, and healing from those abusive experiences. Let’s spread awareness about the narcissistic red flags and help the community avoid narcissists.   What are narcissistic red flags?   For people who wonder what this is, Narcissists cannot hide their true selves forever, and so, within the time being, their behavior will get exposed either by themselves or through the circumstances. Knowing about narcissistic red flags will help you indicate the narcissist far quicker and evade an abusive relationship.     What are the red flags of a narcissist?   We are delving into several red flags you probably encountered before or may experience in the future. So, take note or download the narcissistic red flags checklist given below to refer to it throughout your life.   Just a reminder, if you find any narcissistic red flags here relevant to what you have experienced, feel free to vent it on the comment section. This platform is for you to vent out your emotions. Let’s share our thoughts and help the community.     Note the red flags given in this article, analyze the person, and note it on the checklist if you have doubts like “Am I dating a narcissist?” “Are my parents narcissists?” “Why am I getting traumatic experiences around the people I love?” “Are my friends toxic?”   1. The look of Narc’s friends on you   Narcissists most likely don’t bring their friends to your life. But if they tend to do, the narcissist probably wants to exhibit their socializing skills. On such occasions, narcissists’ friends’ eyes will tell stories about your narc’s past.   It’s not the eyes of the narc’s friends that hate you but surprisingly, they see you in a pitying manner. If you looked closely, you could feel the doubts in their mind, like, “How does she even end up with him?” You know that they knew something about your Narc partner, and that is how the friends of narcissists are.   2. Have very low to zero friends   There are different types of narcissists but possess similar abusive patterns. The only difference is their personality and red flags. The grandiose and malignant narcissists usually have more friend circles to get the center of attention between others. But covert or vulnerable narcissists keep their traits hideous by having no one around them. Such narcissists treat their friends so badly that no one wishes to stick with them.    Even though they claim to have friends, they won’t let you interact with them. If you tried to interact, you could feel that the friends are not even close and rarely even acquaintances.   3. Doesn’t like your friends   Narcissists hate the victim with support. So, they manipulate you to give full attention to them, leaving your friends behind. They often refuse to interact with your friends and project them as toxic ones. Narcissists fear your friends’ questioning eyes and get anxious knowing that you have external support.   4. Double standards for the friends of the opposite sex   Narcissists are very good at triangulating people and playing with their emotions. They intentionally introduce someone of their opposite sex and make you feel jealous. But in your case, you just cannot even introduce a genuine friend of the opposite gender to the narcissist. If that happens, the narcissist will try to project you as a cheater by saying,   “Oh, who’s that guy you are close with? Are you planning on cheating me?” “You are flirting with her like she’s your girlfriend.”   Narcissists do this as they want them to be the only opposite gender you must rely on. This is one of the crucial narcissistic red flags to notice; otherwise, they would spoil your whole friend circle of yours.   5. Never hangouts with your people   If you are in a relationship, you are probably dreaming of a future with your partner, and that’s what love is. But narcissists do not see any future with you despite seeing you as a controlling toy. So, engaging with your people can lead to trouble in the future. To avoid this, narcissists avoid hanging out with people close to you, especially your family.   So remember this red flag, One who is not ready to meet your people does not wish your life to be good either.   6. Dislikes anything you like   When you start dating a narcissist, it looks like everything goes as you intend to be. They resonate with whatever you like and project it as you both have a lot in common. But in time, the red flag will appear right in front of you. The narcissist will always dislike anything you like; for example, if you like a popular show and so does everyone, the narcissist won’t.   The narcissist will ask you to change your perceptions to what they like; otherwise, they refuse to spend time with you. This act of the narcissist is to test their control over you, especially at the beginning of the abuse. (Mention what your narcissist likes in you at first but dislikes later in the comments).   7. Monologues about themselves   Narcissists can hide anything but not their…

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Featured image of how to deal with narcissistic enabler parent and narcissistic enablers

How to deal with hurtful narcissistic enablers and enabler parents?

Dante2217 mins

As we know the types of people who become narcissistic enablers, let us delve into the information of how to deal with narcissistic enablers, especially to deal with parents who are narcissistic enablers.   The narcissistic enablers are the one who enhances the malicious traits in the narcissist by the means of overvaluation, attention-giving, and other narcissistic supply, worsening the abuse even more. The enablers of narcissists can have a pleasing, convincing, gossiping, empathizing, flying monkey, or even narcissistic personality that enables the narcissistic traits in others. Throughout your life, you may encounter a narcissistic enabler parent, sibling, friend, lover, or coworker who needs to be dealt with.   Enablers of narcissists are either persuaded by the narcissists or are aware of their characteristics and choose to support them. Either way, it is best to avoid the narcissistic enablers as equal to the narcissists as they can bring harm to your lifestyle. So, let’s delve in to see how narcissistic enablers are directed to hurt the victim and the ways to deal with them.   How do Narcissistic Enablers hurt you?   Not only the narcissists, but the narcissistic enablers can also hurt the victim by hoovering, manipulating, aiding smear campaigns, spreading gossip, and devaluing them in order to keep them in the relationship. Whether the behavior is deliberate or not, the victim is always harmed by the narcissist enablers.   For example, if a father is a narcissist and his wife is a narcissistic enabler who is unaware of her husband’s narcissistic personality, she will support, validate, and allow him to abuse their children. Furthermore, the narcissistic father can easily persuade the enabler mother to not support their children.   She might say, “Your father beats you to raise you right” “Parents always do things for their children” “Never raise your voice against your father like that” “It’s a shame that you were our kid” “You will never be like your father”   In fact, the narcissistic enabler mother would prioritize the narcissist more than for her kids. In this way, the kids are pulled into a childhood trauma by their own parents.   Related: How do Parents originate narcissism in Kids?   A narcissist’s enabler is someone who is lonely and yearns for love and relationships. As a result, even the smallest amount of attention from a narcissist astounds them and causes them to surrender to the narcissist. Enablers for narcissists are a great source of supply as well as a primary tool for abusing the victim.   How to deal with the Narcissistic Enablers?   “A narcissistic enabler can be as dangerous and abusive as the narcissists”, say psychologists. A narcissist may use enablers as a flying monkey to hoover or Triangulate in order to gain control or to conduct smear campaigns and physical abuse on the victim. As with narcissists, one must exercise greater caution around narcissistic enablers too. Dealing with them as if they were the narcissist is the best way to protect yourself.   Understand that the enablers are maneuvered Do not quarrel Answer in an uninterested way Disengage with them Invite trustable people into your life Build Boundaries Go no contact with both the narcissist and the enabler are some of the crucial ways to deal with a narcissistic enabler. Understand that the enablers are maneuvered   In the name of love, trust, or acting like a victim, narcissists manipulate narcissistic enablers in order to gain control over them and abuse the victim. Understanding this helps us to avoid the consequences or be prepared to deal with them. Do not Quarrel   Picking a fight with a narcissist or a narcissistic enabler is a risky move that can quickly backfire. They can easily turn the situation around by gaslighting you or domineering you by abusing you more than usual. So, always try to stay calm and analyze the situation thoroughly.   Know about: How to support Children raised by narcissists?   Answer in an uninterested way   The enablers of narcissists speak to you in a way that causes you to overreact and respond abruptly. They do this on purpose to find a reason to fight you or destabilize your mental health. So, even if it hurts you, don’t give them what they want; instead, act uninterested and respond in simple words. Disengage with them   Disengaging physically and mentally from a narcissist or narcissist enabler allows you to focus on your life and maintain social connections. Relationships with narcissistic enablers can feel addictive, so try to rehab your mind and prepare yourself to abandon the relationship. Limit your meetings, chats, and friendships with the narcissistic enabler. Keep yourself busy so that you can limit your access to narcissistic abuse and successfully disengage them.   Note: If you are trapped between a narcissist and enablers,  We encourage you to use our Comment section to Vent out your emotions.   Have you ever experienced narcissistic abuse or currently experiencing one? Are you struggling to vent about that to anyone? Remember that venting to somebody who listens to you is the first step to healing. So, register here and vent to a listener who understands you. Invite trustable people into your life   Distancing yourself from narcissistic enablers also allows you to form new social bonds. Take advantage of this opportunity to meet trustworthy people and have them close by to support you. Prioritizing such people makes the narcissistic enablers feel less valuable, which may leave you feeling at ease. Build Boundaries   Boundaries are more important than ever in order to maintain healthy relationships. It’s not just for narcissists; it’s for everyone with a toxic personality. As a result, create boundaries that no one will be able to breach to harm you. If they cross your boundaries, develop the courage to say ‘No.’ Prefer your mental health over anything else, and you’ll be less likely to be exploited by narcissistic enablers. Go No Contact   Should I go no contact with the narcissistic…

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Going No contact is better than getting discarded

Why Going No contact is Better than getting Discarded with a Narcissist?

Dante015 mins

Here is an argument that goes on within the narcissistic victim communities. “Which type of leaving a narcissist is better? Whether the victim of narcissistic abuse being discarded, or going no-contact with the narcissist?”.   Narcissistic abuse is a pattern of malicious acts followed by narcissists to hurt the victims. The pattern of abuse includes love-bombing, gaslighting, discarding, hoovering, etc. Any victim trapped in the narcissistic abusive cycle is most likely to suffer both mentally and physically. So, the best option to get rid of the narcissist from your life is to sever the narcissistic bond by either getting discarded or going no contact.   Leaving the narcissist is our ultimate goal to escape from the abuse, emotional damage, and suffering. However, it doesn’t come that easy, right? We have to go through more emotional rollercoasters, depression, anxiety, discomfort, and after-effects of leaving the narcissists. But if you did leave the narcissist after all the struggles, there lies peace.   “Getting discarded by the narcissist or going no contact, which is better?” is a complicated topic as both of the methods have struggles to face before and after leaving the narcissist. Let’s see the things that might happen in both ways of leaving a narcissist, and decide which is better at last.   Does Narcissist discarding more hurtful than going no contact?   The answer is yes. During narcissistic discarding, you will not be aware of the fact that the abuser is a narcissist. So, it will be hurtful, traumatic, and exhausting when discarded by the person you love. You might also be filled with sorrow, self-doubts, and hurt yourself for not fulfilling the narcissist.   Getting discarded is the most common thing that every victim experiences in narcissistic abuse. Narcissists discard you when they are bored of their victim or have found a new supply for validation and attention. From a record, about 20 million people in the US were diagnosed with a narcissistic personality disorder. On average, each narcissist can exploit 5 people in their life through narcissistic abuse. So, about 100 million people were suffering from narcissistic abuse in the US alone. From that, only a few were able to find the narcissistic traits of their loved ones. Although they have found out, only a few managed to go no contact with the narcissists successfully.   So, if you are being discarded by the narcissist, you are not alone. Although getting discarded is hurtful, there are some pros that come along with it.   If they didn’t discard, you would have stayed longer   Discarding is a manipulative tactic to hurt the victim. It always comes after the love-bombing phase of the abusive pattern. Since you have become obsessed with the narcissist, the discard will be more effective at those times. It’s not just an obsession, but the love you gave, the fear of losing a relationship, and the confusion of why the narcissist acts like this make you stick with them.   So, on the verge of solving this, you endure narcissistic abuse again and again. Furthermore, the victims sometimes intentionally get trapped in narcissistic abuse wishing the abuser would change. Pleasing a narcissist to change is not possible and without knowing that, one cannot break the narcissistic bond unless the narcissist discards you.   Will the narcissist come back after discarding me?   Narcissists will probably come back to the victims after discarding when they cannot find an alternative source of supply or the new supply failed to provide enough. The narcissists try to hoover you by love bombing or other manipulative tactics. So, if you are regretting the narcissistic discard, you are more likely to fall into narcissistic abuse again.   On the other hand, if you managed to figure out the abuser to be a narcissist, you have the chance to deal with the narcissist and make them finally discard you for peace.   Will the narcissist discard you forever?   The narcissists may discard you and never come back if they gain a surplus amount of narcissistic supply from the other victims. But the narcissist will eternally stalk, or keep track of you by any means to not lose control over you. They do not want the victim to move on from the relationship even when the narcissist shifts to another victim.   How to make the narcissist discard you forever?   When the narcissist discards you to hurt, it is tough for the victim to disengage with the narcissistic relationship. However, if you find out about the narcissist and dealt with them right, the narcissist might discard and leave you forever. So, follow these steps to make the narcissist discard you and never come back.  Do not react Give an emotionless answer Act bored and talk in an uninteresting way Have an understanding friend by your side Prioritize any things above the narcissist Say ‘No’ if you have to Ignore or move away if they pick a fight with you Following these steps will make the narcissist aware of the fact that you have figured them out and might leave you forever.   Give a Read: Are you an enabler of a narcissist? Check it   Getting Discarded saves you from Narcissistic Rage   If you go No Contact, especially with the covert or malignant narcissist, they see you as a threat as you might expose them. This makes them enrage and conduct smear campaigns or be more violent towards you, causing a backfire.    So, getting discarded by the narcissist seems safer and more effective in situations like this.   How does No Contact be better than getting discarded by the narcissist?   No Contact is a conscious act of a victim to completely sever the bond with the narcissist. Going No contact includes blocking the narcissist from the contacts, leaving from the place of a narcissist, migrating to another city to cut off the connection with the narcissist & flying monkeys, and even abandoning a family. To go…

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Triangulation

How does Narcissistic Triangulation work?

Dante126 mins

Narcissists follow various tactics to trap the victims in the abusive cycle. Among that, Narcissistic triangulation is a crucial and covert tactic that narcissists play on a victim. The answers to the questions, why do narcissists triangulate? and how does narcissistic triangulation affect the victim in different circumstances? will be stated clearly in this article.   Narcissism is a dark triad personality that has the ability to harm people in both emotional and physical ways. The one who possesses this personality can be more exotic and noxious seeking to exploit others’ lives. Narcissistic triangulation is one of the tactics narcissists use to damage the victim. It is difficult to diagnose a person with narcissism. So, it is advisable to limit or avoid having any relationship with narcissists.   What is Narcissistic Triangulation? Narcissistic triangulation is a crucial and covert activity to trap the victim in the narcissistic abuse by bringing a third unknown or lesser-known person into the relationship. The third person does not necessarily be the victim of the narcissist and still somehow gets included in the triangulation. The narcissistic triangulation is also called the “divide and conquer” method.  Narcissistic Triangulation may occur within Love, Family, colleagues and Friends which can be more abusive and damaging than any emotional manipulation.   Why do narcissists triangulate you? The narcissists deliberately triangulate you with another person to Gain control over you Drive you to chase them Make you feel insecure Trigger chaos between the two Thus, restoring the sense of entitlement and superiority, i.e., narcissistic supply.   How do narcissists use the triangulation tactic? The narcissist will limit or give no authority to have a conversation with the third person in the triangulation. They keep this distance as a precautionary method to avoid getting exposed and control you easily. Meanwhile, trying to have contact with the other person in the narcissistic triangulation enrages the narcissists and abuses you abruptly. Narcissists use triangulation tactics to play abusive patterns like manipulation, love-bombing, Ghosting, and gaslighting over the victim in the relationship. The triangulation tactics of the narcissist on a victim differ when the circumstances they are in charge. Whether it may be a narcissistic love, narcissistic family, workplace, or friendships, they play different tactics to obtain different narcissistic supplies from the relationship. Let’s see the triangulation tactics used on different sequences by narcissists with examples.   Narcissistic Triangulation Across Various Platforms As stated above, narcissists conduct their narcissistic triangulation differently based on the circumstances. Narcissists find the triangulation technique as a big drama stage and they have the tendency to act on it perfectly as they wish. They can maneuver the victim or both the victims through triangulation and control them as they wish. The way they control and abuse the victim is what differs in situations. Let’s see how they triangulate the victim across various situations with an example for each. The narcissistic triangulation will possibly happen within Narcissistic love Narcissistic Family Narcissistic Workplace Narcissistic Friendships   Narcissistic Love Triangulation: “Hideous and covert” Love and intimacy are what make you obsessed with the narcissist. You value every word, sex, love, fun, and care you have shared with your partner(narcissist). But, on the flip side, narcissists see you as a mere pawn that can be controlled and sacrificed when they want. The triangulation in narcissistic love includes another person who is more likely to be the narcissist’s friend, secret partner, or ex. The ultimate target for a narcissistic triangulation in love is to make you feel insecure and admit that the narcissist does not deserve you. So, they include this person in the relationship and always bring them in normal chats to make you feel envious of them. The narcissist might not blatantly compare you both, but constantly bringing them into the conversation can make you insecure. The other person is probably secretive and does not interact much with you in the triangulation. Narcissist just wants you to feel like you are nothing special for them as they have other better options. But there are possibilities where the narcissist does not even have any contact with the other person and simply uses them for triangulating you. In case you start to become aware of their triangulation tactic, or try to communicate with the other person, the narcissist will gaslight, give the silent treatment, or abuse you for trying to unlock the truth.   Example of Narcissistic love triangulation Let’s assume you are a male, who is in love with the narc (N)(female), N introduces a new persona B(male) into the relationship. The N always try to speak about the new guy with you by saying things like, “He was better at doing this, you know?” “I remember his voice which I used to love the most” “His shoulders are much broader than this movie character” “He knows a lot about sex” “I love your smell, but his smell is something unique to forgot” “You can’t handle your emotions like my previous boyfriend” “This place reminds me of him” If you ask the N to stop mentioning B, the N responds with something like “Are you doubting me?”, “why are you feeling insecure?”, “I’m just mentioning about him, not comparing with you”, or giving silent treatment for interfering with the N’s triangulation.   Recommended Read: Only these people can make narcissistic love long-lasting   Triangulation in Narcissistic Families: “Deceiving, Manipulative, and family divider” In a narcissistic family, there are possibilities for any one of the parents or both of them to be narcissists. Having a narcissistic parent might be upsetting when you realize all the love and care given by them has a selfish intent followed by narcissistic abuse. You grew up around them without even a single idea about narcissism and now, you are mature to see your true self after all the agony. Triangulation in the narcissistic family does not need to have an unknown persona and can be your sibling, parent, relative, or family friend. In the family triangulation scenario,…

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